Austin Nesties
BFP 12.20.2010 :: missed m/c 1/2011 around 8 weeks
BFP @ 9dpo 5.24.2011 :: missed m/c 6/2011 around 7 weeks
positive for ANAs (1:40) with a speckled pattern
MTHFR c677t mutation (heterozygous)
*folic acid, baby asprin, Prometrium, acupuncture, Lovenox*
BFP @ 9dpo 2.1.2012 || HCG = 8 : Progesterone = 19.2
2nd HCG @ 11dpo = 40 || 3rd HCG @ 21dpo = over 5000!
Stick, little one, stick! EDD October 15, 2012
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What do you do when it's too much?
Recently (past few months anyway) I've been going through a lot of personal and career things that have been extremely stressful, emotionally draining, and just plain hard. Every time I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel, something comes up to make everything terrible again. Then just when I think it's gotten to be more than I can handle and nothing else could possibly go wrong... something much, much worse inevitably happens.
What do you do when life gets to be too much to handle? I need some survival/coping techniques...
BFP 12.20.2010 :: missed m/c 1/2011 around 8 weeks
BFP @ 9dpo 5.24.2011 :: missed m/c 6/2011 around 7 weeks
positive for ANAs (1:40) with a speckled pattern
MTHFR c677t mutation (heterozygous)
*folic acid, baby asprin, Prometrium, acupuncture, Lovenox*
BFP @ 9dpo 2.1.2012 || HCG = 8 : Progesterone = 19.2
2nd HCG @ 11dpo = 40 || 3rd HCG @ 21dpo = over 5000!
Stick, little one, stick! EDD October 15, 2012
Re: What do you do when it's too much?
I run, literally. I began running last year when I was dealing with too much. I'm not a fast runner or like running in particular, but I found while I was running I was not able to focus on the overwhelming aspects of my life, but focus on breathing, my feet hitting the pavement, how my body felt while I was running. Also I found that when I finished I felt SO MUCH BETTER. The stress I was carrying in my upper back and shoulders released, my muscles felt more relaxed, and my mind felt more clear.
Other things that I do are therapy. I firmly believe in talking to a professional. Even if I didn't say much, just knowing I could talk to an un-biased person, helped me to talk through what I was feeling so stressed about.
One thing I would not suggest.....is do nothing. When you're feeling overwhelmed, do something. A walk, just sitting outside breathing fresh air, a good cry, a bubble bath while reading a trash magazine. Don't ignore the feelings or stress, it will only get worse.
I deal with anxiety all the time. My first thing is take an extra pill
But since you probably can't do that.
List 5 things you are thankful for. It could be something as silly as a pillow you love.
If you are religious, pray for strength/calm/understanding
Go running, do jumping jacks, do pushups. Anything that gets your head off of what you're thinking about. Even just walking the office building.
Sing really loud to music you like. Be silly about it.
If you play an instrument, go play. (I play piano so that's what it's on my list)
Call someone you haven't talked to in a while just to chat.
Write an e-mail to a friend about pointless dribble, you can even e-mail me if you like or I'll email you. angelaggie at msn dot com
Wine is wonderful
Dance silly to a song
Yes, this for sure. When I was going through a particularly bad time, I was seeing a therapist once a week.
Another thing that helped me was something super cheesy I saw on Oprah. Every day, I wrote down 4 things that made me happy that day. That helped me focus on good things AND deal with my life one day at a time. Sometimes, it was a real struggle to find something to write down, but for me the effort was worth it.
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Im so sorry that you are in this situation... its not a fun place to be and believe me I know how hard it is. Ive been through alot of lets say help to attempt working through it.
Probably the number one thing that has helped me is my faith and staying optimistic. Regardless of what is in front of me, all of the horrible things that happened in the past I was able to get through and come out on top. I have a lot of quiet moments, where I ask questions, yell, scream and wait for the answers.
Since it can take such a toll on your physical being too, working out helps me. Cardio, yoga.
And lastly, I have one girlfriend that we talk about just about everything. It helps to just go through all of the crap over a cup of coffee and not really looking for advice or comfort, just to listen and get it off your chest. It's helpful when something pops up and I can call her and say_______ just happened and because she knows the story there is no needed explination.
Not my cup of tea but I know people that like to journal, or keep a gratitude journal. Helps them remember the positive and happy things in their life. Instead of dwelling on the negatives.
lots of hugs and prayers for you!
These are all really great, keep 'em coming!
I am seeing a therapist... because of my schedule it's been every two weeks or so. Definitely has helped somewhat but so far it's not enough. Exercise is definitely on my list of things to try but finding the time has been difficult so far. I used to have a calendar where I'd write at least one good thing that happened that day, no matter how small. Maybe I need to start that again.
BFP 12.20.2010 :: missed m/c 1/2011 around 8 weeks
BFP @ 9dpo 5.24.2011 :: missed m/c 6/2011 around 7 weeks
positive for ANAs (1:40) with a speckled pattern
MTHFR c677t mutation (heterozygous)
*folic acid, baby asprin, Prometrium, acupuncture, Lovenox*
BFP @ 9dpo 2.1.2012 || HCG = 8 : Progesterone = 19.2
2nd HCG @ 11dpo = 40 || 3rd HCG @ 21dpo = over 5000!
Stick, little one, stick! EDD October 15, 2012
I can completely relate to your feelings right now! I had the whole thought of "I just can't do this anymore" just 2 nights ago. Still not sure how to get past it, but I'm surviving.
Exercise is definitely a GREAT stress relief. If nothing else, if you can even fit in a 15-20 minute walk it will help some. Also, I've been going to the gym fairly regularly, but I can tell you, at least for me, walking or jogging outside is actually more of a stress release than being indoors on an elliptical or treadmill. Maybe because you can be by yourself and quiet.
Another thing that helps me is music. I just put on something that I love and tune all else out for a while.
I'll be thinking of you!
Exercise and therapy are great ideas. Maybe try yoga. That's something you can do from anywhere. I would love to be able to learn how to do TM (Transcendental Meditation). I've heard great things about it.
Another thing is to look at other people's situations. We've had some nesties go through some rough things lately so when I get overwhelmed I am thankful that we are all healthy and employed.
Volunteer. Something a couselor suggested to me a while back... it has made such an amazing positive impact in my life.
Once a week I meet with a first grader, we work on her homework, projects, what ever she might be struggling with that week or we just read. I go to her school every Friday and it gives me something to look forward to. The mentee doesnt have very many positive things in her life so its very personally rewarding to see her little face light up when I get there.
I wasnt able to make her V-day party on Monday, so I suprised her with lunch today. We got to sit on the stage, she looked like she was on top of the world.
You have so many talents, and if elementary kids arent your thing there are tons of places where you might be able to help out. Maybe a local fashion club with high school kids since thats in your line of work.
I'm so sorry to hear that things are so tough right now. I have definitely been there. Things that help me are listening to music, reading, watching movies I love (like Pixar), taking my dogs for a walk, talking to my sister, and exercise. I got into yoga this past summer and quit for a while, but have started going again. It was a huge de-stressor for me. I remember going to one class with something outside of my control really weighing on my mind and, in the class, set an intention to try to let it go. By the end of the class, I had and I felt so much better. I think you used to take ballet classes? Maybe something like that would help?
I think the most important thing is to take some time for yourself (or for you and your DH, if that might be preferable) even if it seems selfish.
Hmm.. been there as well!
For the big calm down, I'd have to call a friend. Have a chat, some reassurances, and some time spent always helped get me started on the road to feeling better. After that, I'd immediately want to take a walk, or go "do" something where I could reflect and take in the positives. If you have a therapist you connect with, that is also good on a regular basis. I didn't have much luck with that one so I found other outlets and strategies for coping.
After that, it was committing to exercise (and it IS a commitment) - so I threw myself into doing both Asthanga Yoga (I found the repetitiveness calming) and later into doing triathlons. The exercise part was huge and started off small and ended up being intense, which did wonders!
Cleaning something or organizing something (eg, giving myself a task to dive into) also helped. I'm not very good at organizing, so it was a challenge. :P
Other than that.. finding something I really enjoyed for myself helped balance me out tons. The tri training is one of them, but I also started making an effort to find music I like, listen to it, and go to concerts/shows downtown.
i make time for myself to go to yoga - no cell phones, no email, no one bugging me for those 90 minutes. i turn my brain off and just focus on that time. i do that also when i have to travel for work to just disconnect from anything that is stressing me out. i've also been incorporating more meditation to my practice, and it's really helped me destress and re-align my thoughts.
i don't know if you have a trusted relationship with your boss, but i know it helps me to talk about when i'm overwhelmed and what i need from him as a manager. i got over the need to prove that i can handle more than my share of work, and it's really made work feel manageable.
you know i'm always here if you want to talk.