October 2010 Weddings
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Wedding gift

So, we have two weddings coming up, one for my best friend in May and another for a family friend in June.

Background: I've only been to 2 weddings in the past, one was my aunts and I didn't give a gift, and one was my friends who we did the video taping for and got them a small vase from Pier 1 (not on their registry.) After getting married my personal preference would be to give at least $200 in either money or registry items, but we have a problem.

I'm not working, I have no prospects whatsoever and unemployment and state health care don't leave us a lot of extra after bills and necessities. Is it wrong to give a really small gift off the registry? Or am I better off making them something for their homes? Specifically a quilt? I have tons of free time and fabric scraps are cheap... I'm open to other suggestions too, I hate being in this position. 

Re: Wedding gift

  • I think either would work. Personally I'd like the quilt though. for my bridal shower the girls wrote stuff on fabric so we could have a married advice quilt (still waiting to see the finished product as the host still hasn't gotten around to sewing it). I thought it was a cool idea. But you can def personalize it to the couple. I think it's be cute. And if they were ttc early in marriage- you could call it a fertility quilt or something funny. or maybe say it is the stiches in time that will keep them together - idk get creative and have fun with it.
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  • I think a quilt would be a fine gift, it's more meaningful that you HAND made something then something you can go out and just buy ready to go...I would have loved to received something someone hand made Just for us.
    imageAnniversary
  • In my case, my top 4 gifts we received were homemade... but I'm a hippy ;)

    My good friend makes jewelry, and she made myself a necklace and my husband a tie pin using the tree outlined on the wax seal of our invitations.  It probably costs her a whole 10 bucks in materials, but I had tears rolling down my cheeks when I opened that box.  

    Another friend gave us an old book.  He probably found that book for 5 bucks at an antique store.  But there is a big back story to that book and how it ties into our relationship with that guy,  and I'd give up our whole dish set to keep that book. 

    Another friend's husband does woodwork and made us a beautiful box for personal treasures, again, a favorite personal gift.  

     

    If you can personalize the quilt for them in someway, maybe try and find something unique to their wedding (what kind of flowers is she using, any kind of special monogram or seal or design she using on everything?) to subtly tie into the quilt pattern... or something from your friendship with the couple (how you know them, places you've gone, etc).   I'm sure they would love it. 

     


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  • Definitely make the quilt if you have the time and resources.  DH's grandmother made quilts for each of her grandchildren for weddings - and she just sews in a patch that says, "this quilt made by grandma for the marriage of <bride> and <groom> <date>.  It's such a personal gift and something they will cherish for years.
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  • I would love it if a friend took the time to make me a quilt.
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  • I think the quilt is an awesome idea!  As PP have said it is something that you made yourself so it will have so much more meaning and be something they will cherish more than a small item you could buy off the registry.

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  • For some friends a quilt is my go to gift.  For me it depends on if they are paying or not.  If someone is paying and i know they are on a budget i like to give cash.  I'm always afraid that the person won't really like the quilt....oh well i suppose
  • I think the quilt idea is awesome. I mean if you have the supplies and time to do it.

    My BFs (and MOH) mom makes quilts and she made me one for my high school graduation, and my wedding. I loooooooooove them. But I'm a blanket whore. I seriously can't get enough, it's a problem.

    But if you think your friend will like it, and maybe you can add a personalized touch to it, I say go for the quilt. 

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  • imageDyork:

    I think the quilt idea is awesome. I mean if you have the supplies and time to do it.

    This. As long as it's not going to put you out financially more than a small registry gift, and you have the time, I think it's a really lovely gesture.  But if it would end up costing you more in the end, then I'd re-think it. 

    Honestly, if I had a friend who was un(der)employed and struggling to make ends meet, I'd prefer they give me a heartfelt dollar store greeting card than spend money they didn't have on a wedding gift for me.

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  • I quilt as well so I would love a nicely done quilt (meaning my style-I don't really care for raggy quilts) for a present...we got several afghans in the course of my buying our house, and shower/wedding gifts in the past year and each is on the back of a piece of living room furniture for when it gets too chilly...funny thing is we seem to be the only ones who are willing to actually use them half the time
    "I said what I meant and I meant what I said, an elephant's faithful 100%" Dr. Seuss, Horton Hatches The Egg. My Ovulation Chart Ttc buddies with LexiMS!
  • I think the quilt is a lovely idea.  Sidenote: I made my dad a "lap-quilt" for Christmas one year and now years later he still uses it.

    I, being the matchy-match person I am, would recommend you look at their registries to see what color bedding they're registrying for and try to use fabrics in a similar color scheme.  Or like a pp said, wedding theme/colors?

  • A friend of the family made us a quilt (wall hanging caliber) as a wedding present, and it's something we'll always cherish, and is so much more special than "8 tumbler glasses, 16oz".  

    I like Hannah's suggestion of checking their registry to get a gist of the colors that they're using in their new digs to try and match that a bit.

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  • imagehz80408:

    I think the quilt is a lovely idea.  Sidenote: I made my dad a "lap-quilt" for Christmas one year and now years later he still uses it.

    I, being the matchy-match person I am, would recommend you look at their registries to see what color bedding they're registrying for and try to use fabrics in a similar color scheme.  Or like a pp said, wedding theme/colors?

    I  call it my OCD color scheming! But I am the same way, so I also recommend looking at their registry to see if they have a common color scheme. Or if you have been to their house and know they colors of their home. Like my livingroom is all red, black, and tan. 

    I would love to receive a quilt, we have two from when Lance's was little and they are the best. The one has a thin fleece as the back and I love love love it!! 

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  • my three favorite wedding gifts:

    recieving my first crocheted? blanket from my mother....she's done blankets for every kid and my sister...its beautiful it has flowers on it...its actually still in my hope chest in my parents house.....need to get that, and the beautiful serving dishes

    Jeremy's aunt included in her gift a doily that his grandmother would make...Aunt Linda put one in just for me....saying that she knew that grandma would want me to have it......she slipped into a coma two days after we got engaged and passed on 10/8/08....we never got to tell her we were engaged....im crying as i write this....so that gift was an amazing one and brought alot of tears

    one of my best friends hand lace KNIT my garter.....beautiful thin navy yarn, and ivory ribbon...i LOVED it :) 

    Ashley & Jeremy 10/10/10

    Getting fit for IVF! :) (add another 20lbs and you have my total weight lost! :) )

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  • I found out the wedding colors and I'm going to use those and make a label for the back of the quilt that says made with love in honor of the marriage of ::BRIDE:: and ::GROOM:: with the date and our names
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