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I need some advice (long)
Sorry if this is confusing! A couple of months ago, BIL got engaged.The wedding is this summer. It will be his second marriage, his fiancee's first. They decided to get married in France, where they met. (JOP ceremony first, they can't actually get married in France because of residency requirements.) They are having their wedding in a town about 9ish hours from Paris.
When we found out, we were assured that almost everything would be paid for, plane tickets, hotels, etc. Awesome! I've never been to France. While we were visiting MIL in January, she kept asking if we'd gotten our tickets yet. H talked to her and apparently, there was a misunderstanding. MIL thought BIL was paying. BIL thought MIL was paying....so nobody was paying. So MIL loaned us the money for the plane tickets, to be paid back monthly. (Over $3000 just for the plane ticket.)
The place where the wedding is going to be is really hard to get to. You have to fly to Paris and then rent a car, take a train/bus, or take a small plane/bus. Basically, it will cost about $1000 to get from Paris to the wedding and back.
Then there are a million other expenses. The wedding is black tie required, so I have to buy a dress. Our dog has to be kenneled for a week and a half. I need a new passport.
H and I are both in school and working part time. We are on top of all bills, etc. We have one account with a house down payment (that I won't touch), one emergency savings account (car repairs, unexpected health things, etc). We really have very little extra money month to month.
Obviously, we would love to go to France and we would love to go to BIL's wedding...but I just don't know how to make it work.
Should we?
A) Borrow more money from MIL
Cash out our emergency savings
C) Send H alone
D) Other ideas?
I have worked and re worked the money and I just can't make it work. If we say we can't afford it, MIL will just loan us more money, which is really awkward. Ugh. Any advice would be really appreciated.
Re: I need some advice (long)
First response = WOW!
If I was in the same situation I don't believe my DH or I would be going. You most certainly shouldn't cash out your emergency savings for this is NOT an emergency. They should have had the details for their wedding clear and concise so that everyone was given the chance to begin saving money last year. As far as taking a loan out from your MIL personally for me that would be a huge mistake. She would always have something over my head even after we paid her back. Your situation might be different.
Since this is financial related it makes me think of Suze Orman. If you were to call her and show her the money you bring in and what bills are going out and ask these same questions to her she would CERTAINLY tell you to stay at home!!! Not to mention the stress from missing school if you have too and having to pay for kenneling your dog. My DH and I didn't spend that much on our wedding. I wish you all the luck!
I choose E. You both stay home.
DH & I are in a similiar financial situation to you and we would tell them it was just not in our budget to go right now. Getting married in a foreign country and a remote location, the bride & groom shouldn't be expecting that everyone is going to be able to make it. I don't think my H would want to go alone and it is silly for you both to go and stretch your budget. Let's say you get back from the wedding and your car breaks down? You'd have to dip into your savings for your house then!
They will need witnesses at their JOP ceremony. Why don't you offer to be their witnesses and treat them to a nice dinner afterwards? Because like it or not, that ceremony will be the actual wedding. The France thing will just be renewing their vows really.
I think your BIL is being ridiculous. If they are already married, that is simply a vow renewal. I would decline, tell MIL no thank you for loaning you guys the money and both of you stay home.
I would just send a card and a gift (if you want) and be done with it.
I would not spend the money for that. I agree with Britt, go to the GOP with them. You'll be there for their actual wedding. I'm sure you'd go out to dinner or something after; that sounds within your budget to go.
I would not take a loan from your MIL, nor anyone else. You don't want to have a loan hanging over your head for a trip you already took and are done with.
My Planning Bio
dont go. i've been to france. i know how much it costs. part of making that cost worth it is going for more than a week. 4k+ in travel for someone else's wedding when you're not prepared to be able to use that time to take a totally kickass vacation is out of the question.
srsly. DH and i aren't going to a wedding in chicago (5 hours drive time) because it's too expensive and we'd have to take too much time off for the cost (on memorial day weekend. yea. this is a pretty pretty princess day). don't feel bad.
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