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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
decemberjen - your daughters school
can you tell us what is so bad about it? i remember you talking about it before but they whys haven't stuck with me.
just curious!
Re: decemberjen - your daughters school
At the risk of sounding nuts - I'll tell you. I'm going to guess that most people won't think this is bad, but to me it is entirely unacceptable.
To start about 50% of the kids at this school receive free/reduce lunch and about 35% of kids don't pass the NCLB (No Child Left Behind) reading and math criteria. I was aware of these stats when I enrolled DD, but *in my head* I thought it would be okay to send her to this school if there was a community of involved parents and teachers. wrong choice. my fault. bad assumption.
on the first day of kindergarten I brought DD to school and it was mass chaos - the teacher had not asked parents to label school supplies (like every other teacher in the school), so she was handing out markers for the parents to do this. We had about 15 minutes before the teacher announced that parents were to leave, meanwhile we also attending to our anxious kindergarteners who were excited for the 1st day of school. There were NO introductions, no outline of what a day a school looks like - nothing. It was a huge waste of time, and I had my DH stay home from work to watch my 2 year old - I was pissed.
So I wait for info about school to come home in DD's backpack. I get nothing. On the Monday of the 2nd week of school I bring the one worksheet (she colored a picture of an apple) that I've received to the principal's office and ask if this is an acceptable amount of information to receive for the 1st week of kindy? Principal asks me if I plan on attending an open house 3 weeks into the start of school. I go nuts. I email the Superintendent. I talk to a district employee - we begin receiving monthly newsletters giving a recap of the previous month (fine- better than nothing). This, however, does not measure up to my preconceived idea of "involved teachers and parents".
November - parents and grandparents are invited to a "special person's day" at school to see our kindergarteners perform a song or 2 and eat lunch with our kid. I attend at the time listed and watch 1 set of kindergarteners sing. I wait 40 minutes to see my daughter's class - and finally I ask a teacher when they will perform. I'm told that my daughter's 1/2 day kindergarten class doesn't receive music instruction - I had no idea (back to the no information thing). They make an announcement that our kids don't have music class and 1/2 dozen parents file out of the gym. I do not find it acceptable that different classes of kindergarteners receive different instruction. I email the district again. My preconceived idea of involved parents further erodes when I realize that less than 10 kids even had anyone show up for them that day
I receive an email response from the district that 1/2 day kindy doesn't receive music instruction or gym because it would reduce classroom instruction beyond what they feel is "necessary and appropriate". And because of my email I am successful in receiving a weekly newsletter (yay! now I know when to return DD's library books!). The Friday after I receive this email my daughter announces that she watched Finding Nemo at school that day. I go nuts. I email the district. District response is that movies are used to occupy children while the teacher reviews end of unit stuff with other students. Meanwhile - my daughter has been outside to play 2 times since the beginning of school, used her glue 3 times and had zero music instruction.
Much of this is probably due to me having expectations that are too high - but I cannot continue to send my daughter to such goofed up environment. It makes me crazy. I can't feel this way for the rest of her school career - I have no respect for her school.
well, you don't sounds nuts but i do think that if those are your expectations, you're going to find the next 12 years highly frustrating.
unfortunately, schools are not well funded or well run in my opinion. even "good" schools seem to be a mess.
No kidding! This has been the most eye-opening experience. What a sad state we're in when basic education expectations aren't met. I thought healthcare was a disaster
The school I want DD to go to has 44% of students open enrolling (I win the involved parents goal) and 85% of the students pass math and reading (I win the quality education goal). I spoke with the principal and 1/2 day kindy students receive both music and phy ed education (another win).
If schools were run like a business (vouchers??) I think things would be different - maybe. I don't know what a good answer to this is - but I know I can't feel like this for the next 15 years while my kids are in school.
I am seriously bothered by your statement about free and reduced lunch students. It makes me think that you are a well-off parent who doesn't want their precious hanging out with " 'da poor folk" and so will yank your daughter.
My school is at 73% free and reduced, I believe, and my students are fabulous.
If test scores and rich kids are your biggest concern you need to enroll in a private school.
*stillchanneling2007-2008knottie*
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that.
OP, A lot of the rest of your concerns are fairly valid. But it really has nothing to do with how many kids receive free lunch.
The free and reduced lunch thing, no - it doesn't sound nice. I'm probably going to dig myself in a deeper hole - but, to me free and reduced lunch can mean that the student is coming to school with additional chalenges.
I think it is really hard being a parent, and I have things pretty nice - I have an amazingly supportive husband, a house where all the bills are up to date, I only have 2 kids, I SAH, I don't have to worry about putting food on the table and I have a supportive extended family as well. My concern with regard to my daughter's school is that many children do not have these luxuries (I can only guess - maybe I'm wrong) - if I don't know when to return a library book then how do they? I just think that in this particular school - with these particular challenges there is less room for poor/mediocre performance from the school.
Again - I would not have an issue sending my daughter to a school with the numbers I described (after all - that's what I initially did). My concern is that there is not a community of involved parents/teachers - and the school is doing nothing to facilitate this. I should not have to ask when to return my kindergarteners library book - and no music, art, or gym just makes me sad.
Maybe I live in a fantasy land - but that "community" of teachers and parents is important to me - without it I just feel like kids are going to have a difficult time - regardless of income.
I wish I lived in a world so black and white.
I am also really bothered by this. I teach in a school where a high number of our students receive free and reduced lunch. I would have NO problem sending my future kids there. Our teachers are great, the principal is great and our school does a lot to facilitate parent and community involvement. I know people that work in "rich" schools and there's a whole other set of issues that come with that. I think on both ends these are just generalizations. It must be nice to live in such a "perfect" world, but for many (and not just those students, me included) that is not realistic.
free/reduced lunches =/= no parent/teacher community
I went to a high school in a low income area with a very high drop out rate and received a fabulous education. The teachers at that school care passionately about their students and their community. I understand your wish to have a good relationship with the faculty at your daughter's school, but it seems unfair to pinpoint that the problem is because there are poor kids that attend that school.
i received free/reduced lunch most of my childhood. my mom was just broke.
i disagree with your correlation but i can understand how you might have arrived at it. it's about what you've experienced in life and it seems you've not experienced a community where parents though poor, actually cared.
i'm not going to rip you to shreds but i do think you should be a bit more thoughtful in the future about how you bucket people.
since you SAH, i suggest you volunteer to be a classroom aid and not just wait for reports to come home to you. i know you have another L/O but maybe you can figure out a way to make this work a few hours a week. it would probably enlighten you and also give you some of the insights you're looking for.
I'm almost afraid to post because I seem to be having a hard time explaining my position.
I enrolled my daughter in her current school with the expectation that there would be involved parents and teachers. I guess you could say that is a value of mine - it's important to me, and I never expected anything less. I think a school is made up of more than test scores - it's made up of involved parents and teachers, it was this belief - along with valuing a local community school, that caused me to enroll my daughter here in the first place.
My personal experience has been that there has been next to no communication from this school (until I complained, loudly, twice). I have attended every school event and I've noticed that the attendance from parents has represented roughly 1/3 of the students. When I'm standing in my daughter's class of 20+ kids and there's only 6-8 families represented it's not like I know or care what those parent's income is, all I care is that they showed up.
I'm not rich (other than in love from my family). I drive a minivan with no heat and duct tape holding the bumper together. I work a crappy collections job in the evenings to provide healthcare for my family - and feel lucky to be able to do so. I live in a little 2 bedroom house with my husband and 2 kids - I feel lucky in my little life because I know that other people have actual big problems. Like I meant to say before - everyone has challenges.
I guess my expectations for this school were too high. I'm not looking for perfection - basic communication has been my chief complaint. The lack of art, gym, music and parental involvement have been disappointing as well.
out of curiosity, are the events your talking about during the workday? because i've had to miss my son's choir/band concerts because of work. that doesn't mean i don't care. conversely, it means i realize that being gainfully employed is sometimes more important than a concert. i've explained this to my son and he totally gets it. is he disappointed? of course.
i also think a number of parents just think of school as a part of the day's routine. if your child is bringing home decent report cards (whatever that means to your family), why would you give it much other thought? ideally, yes you would but people are insanely busy and just fighting to survive.
parent involvement is also difficult if both parents work full time. would i like to spend more time helping out at my son's school? you bet your #2 pencil i would but I HAVE A JOB FROM 8-5. that job puts food on the table, a roof over his head, clothes on his back and money in his lunch account.
now, the lack of arts, gym and music.... well that's a big big battle that would take a mountain of change to correct. is it about involved parents? sure. but it's also about our fvcked up priorities in this country. believe me, when my kid says he has art ONCE EVERY TWO WEEKS it makes my heart sick. i had art twice a week when i was in school. i LOVED art class.
but, it is what it is. pulling your kid out and "dumping" this school certainly isn't going to help give it a fighting chance. you want to fight? fight! find some likeminded parents (i'm sure there are some if you're willing to look) and start making some noise.
i dunno. i know it's challenging but crying about it and then just running away seems... weird to me. sounds like you're already making waves. maybe keep making them and enlist some help to make them bigger. how great would it feel to have a hand in turning this school into something you're proud of?
strength - I agree with you point by point. Everything about working parents - about busy parents, about art - everything. I get it. A good part of what you describe is actually WHY I have concerns about communication from the school
I also agree with you that leaving the school solves no problems. If anything I can see where having children (and loud-mouths like me) leaving this school causes further hardship and potentially reduced test scores for the school (does that sound crazy? I don't mean it to.).
But I didn't enroll my daughter in this school looking for a fight. I sent her to kindergarten with high hopes for her future. I sent her with visions of storytime and construction paper, glue, and scissors.
It took me from September to January to become successful in getting a weekly newsletter from her kindy teacher. So it was January when I learned that my daughter was learning a sight word each week. Other parents that I've talked to expressed that the communication isn't ideal, but they're not worried about their kids because they feel education is 50% school and 50% home so their kids are fine
I personally am worried about ALL kids in this environment. I've been in contact with the teacher, the principal, the district, the school board, and the MN Department of Education. There is no good solution. I am not able to cause the changes that I feel need to happen for this to become a quality school. It is not good for my mental health to send my daughter to this environment when I know there is something better out there. It is not good for the community for this school to operate in this fashion. But I can't fix this, I don't have that amount of fight in me. I seriously had no idea the state our schools were in.