Grand Rapids Nesties
Last updated 4/06/11
Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Mommas, can you come in for a sec?
My BFF is having a baby this summer and wants me there with her through it all.
I have never seen a live birth...I'm not sure what to expect at all. Can you kind of walk me through being in labor and then giving birth?
I'm kind of nervous, LOL.
Last updated 4/06/11
Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
Re: Mommas, can you come in for a sec?
There are actually videos online that you can watch, if you're interested.
You don't have to watch the whole deal from below. You can stay near your friend's head and support her up top.
What an honor to be asked. Are you comfortable enough doing this? If not, I hope you can tell her no with no hard feelings.
Shoot - I posted too soon.
The only births I've been present for was when I was being born or giving birth. Those are a completely different experiences from being there for support.
I have watched a few videos
I am comfortable, but I'm also a bit nervous at the same time. It's very important to her that I'm there.
DH and I agreed to be legal guardians of her baby if something were to happen to her, as she'll be a single parent. She wants paperwork drawn up very very soon stating that if she left the baby with us for a weekend or something, we would be allowed to make medical decisions for her and then if something happened to her, we would take custody.
So she wants me as involved as possible
Last updated 4/06/11
OK, then what did you want and expect from a "labor coach"?
Last updated 4/06/11
I think this really all depends on the person..and even then it may change from what she says before hand and when she is in labor.
I would say a simple matter...."Do what I want, when I want." was my motto and I was very low key during delivery. The only thing that ticked me off was Brian wouldn't go to get something to eat when I told him, then he did when things picked up and I needed him.
My recommendation would be to look at birth plans and develop something. Try to keep her on track so she is doing what she wanted, but yet know when to go with the flow and change plans. I saw on a Baby Story on TLC that a couple came up with a code word, so if she said that and said she wanted an epidural, the husband knew not to encourage to keep going natural. At that point in time, he was supposed to say "ok, bring it on. good decision."
My experience is only with my son. I appreciated that my H was there for me in whatever I needed. Rubbed my back through contractions and let me squeeze his hand if I wanted. Of course for us we had the birthing classes together, so we both knew techniques to help ease the pain and had practiced them together.
I'd discuss what she wanted your role to be. I made all the decisions for pain management, and H went along with that. He knew ahead of time that I was going to see how far I could make it without the epidural, but that I was fine with getting it. We never made it to the pushing portion as I had a c-section.
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That is so awesome, I was supposed to be there during my nephews birth but she ended up with an emergency C section so that didnt work. But until they rushed her to the ER I pretty much helped reposition to make her comfy, got her ice chips, massaged her back, did a LOT of talking to distract her (her request lol), etc. I also brought board games.
When the time came, I was going to help hold back a leg if needed and keep her breathing like she was supposed to. Her DH was there but he was really freaked out about it so she asked me to be there as well.
GL! the most important advice I have is just to do whatever she says, even if it is sit in the corner and be quiet haha. In labor mom's mean serious business, even if the request seems totally silly
Is she considering going to birthing classes? I'd bet it would be great for both of you if you could join her for the classes. It'll start conversation about how she may or may not hope the labor and delivery go. You'll both become more familiar and comfortable with what's going to happen. And you can be there for her. I know some other single moms who felt so judged at birthing class for being there alone that it eclipsed the purpose of the class.
I second "do what you want when she wants it."
I agree with this. Grand Rapids has some great instructors, both mainstream hospital style education, but also more naturally minded instructors for people who think they want to attempt a more natural style birth. Also, if you're interested hopscotch has a monthly Materni-tea. Perhaps you could go together, talk with some of the doulas & instructors there to see if they have any ideas how you two might work out a plan together.
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