December 2007 Weddings
Gina1221
member
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Need some advice please (long)
It's about our possible move. In case anyone didn't know, my H got offered a promotion at the North Jersey office in Parsippany, about 2 hours away. The promotion isn't a huge salary jump, but will open up lots of doors for him in the future. Anyway, we had pretty much decided that we were going to take it right away because of the potential it offered, but realized quickly when we started looking at houses that this wouldn't be an easy move because the cost of living in North Jersey is a lot higher than where I live in the state. At this point we were just waiting on the appraisal to come in for our house (DHs company will buy your house from you @ the appraisal price if you can't sell in 60 days), so we figured that the appraisal price would probably be the price we would get for our house since it's hard to sell a house in 60 days in this market. The price we got for our house would dictate how much we could spend on our new house since the equity in our home would be completely providing our downpayment. So we had decided if we got below a certain price for the appraisal that we would just have to turn it down. We have put over 60k into our house since we bought it 3 years ago and countless hours of work and just got it where we wanted it. Last year alone, we spent a huge amount on new windows for our whole house, JUST finally got our fence in November (5k!), and just had some landscaping work done in December that we haven't even paid for yet.. Well...we got our appraisal in yesterday, and it was actually 15k LESS than we even paid for the house 3 years ago. So basically...we'd be losing 75k on our house. I was absolutely sick! I was at work and was crying when I found out and having to fight back tears all day. Then I got into a huge fight with my mom about it to make matters worse. Anyway, DH still is determined to make this work, even though we'll be losing a ton and will barely have any down payment. He even looked into apts. I'm sorry but I have worked WAY too hard in the last 10 years to get where we are today, finally in a house we love, to live in an apt. with two kids. We have a nice size house and big yard for them to play in and it just doesn't seem fair to anyone. I understand completely where DH is coming from...he worked very hard on his education and we pay a ton in student loans so that he could have a good career but I just can't justify this move anymore. But...at the same time, I don't want DH to miss out on a great career opportunity that might not come up again for a long time. This is honestly the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life and I'm just sick about it... Just wanted to see if anyone had any words of advice for my situation. Thanks if you've made it this far!
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Re: Need some advice please (long)
I don't really have much advice. That is one of the reason why we are staying in our house so that we can have a bigger down payment in a couple of years.
That is a lot of money to lose. Is there anyway to get another appraisal? I don't know how those things work and if you could even get a second opinion. Do they take in account the changes and improvements that you guys made?
Is there an option to rent a house for a while and save money to add to your down payment?
This is a hard decision. On one point I can see where your husband is coming from and it could be a great opportunity and who knows one day it could result in you being able to stay home, but then on the other hand all that money you guys are losing.
That is my only advice, sorry it is not much.
I am leaning towards, move and take the loss on the house. They say you never get back 100% of what you put in the house anyways, so you probably would have taken a bit of a hit there anyways. Unfortunately with the market the way it is, appraisals are coming out low. We tried to refi last year and our appraisal came out way too low to even do it. And it is only a loss on paper other than the money that you put in to the house (which you would have done anyways right? you weren't doing that to increase the value on the house?) And I assume you have paid off more than 15K on your mortgage, so would you be left with enough for a down payment?
The reason why I say yes and take the hit is because if DH turns it down now 1- when might something open up again with promotional opportunities and 2-since he turned it down once, would they even want to offer him something again in the future? 3- would DH resent the fact that you didnt want to go with this and support his promotion? I know you had tried to work somewhere else and that didnt work out. Not saying there is anything wrong with that, but just trying to look at it from his perspective. I assume he supported you when you wanted to do something else.
I know taking an apartment would be a step back, but I rented for years before I moved in with Doug. I rented a house that was bigger than our house now with the same size back yard plus a driveway (which our current house doesn't have) for WAY less than we are paying now for our mortgage. It might be an opportunity for you guys to cut down on some of your expenses and save some money. And the apartment could be a temporary thing. And it is awesome that the company will buy the house, so think of that as a positive so that you wouldn't have to go through the pain of trying to sell.
I know it is scary taking such a loss but try to think of the future with the promotion. Like Heather said, maybe it will work out so you don't have to work full time (or at all)?
When does he have to tell them if he is taking it (or did he already tell them and would have to un-tell them?)
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Would you guys want to rent out your house (and when the market gets better in a few years and you get a reappraisal that you like, then you could sell),
and when DH takes the job you guys could find something to buy (have you looked outside that area that he commute to-would that be cheaper?).
What about your job? Will you be commuting 2 hours, or will you have to find a new one?
I dont know, Im just trying to think of any situation that could help you. You are completely right in your feelings, it just plain sucks you guys are stuck in the tug of war of being happy he found a job that will advance him in his career but then you have the disappointment with the house. Hang in there!
Wow. That's a really tough situation!!
I think Mel and Heather had some really good points...and after reading their responses, I'm leaning towards your H taking the promotion and taking the loss on your house. I know it really sucks, and I'm really worried that Shawn and I will be dealing with this in a few years, too. I think the kicker for me here is the fact that his company will buy your house. I doubt that you're ever going to have an opportunity to have a guaranteed buyer in the future, so that's really hard to turn down. I know that we have neighbors who need to move out of state for a job he's already gotten, and they haven't been able to sell yet, despite dropping their asking price by $30K. Yes, your house appraised for $15K less than what you paid for it...but who's to say that it won't go down again in a year or two? You could actually have a great opportunity to get out of the house now for a relatively decent price, and hopefully buy a new house (maybe not immediately) at a better deal.
(I'm writing this while I'm half-listening to a department meeting...so I hope that all made sense!)
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That is a really difficult situation. With the housing market the way it is, I would try selling your current house and rent a house in North Jersey, so DH can take the new job.
If you sell the house to DH's company, would you have anything left after paying off the mortgage (maybe I missed that part)? If so, I would take what I could from that lump sum and pay down as much debt as possible. Lending guidelines are tightening by the day, so if you were to buy again in the (probably near) future, it might be very beneficial to have as little debt as possible.
I agree with Mel. I'm leaning towards your H taking the promotion because of the opportunities available to him down the road. You don't know what could happen with the housing market in your area in a year from now. Your house could be worth even less and with his company offering to pay if you don't get a buyer is huge! You have to remember that this is happening everywhere. Our house lost 10k in value when we re-fied this fall. So while it seems like you are loosing money now, think of the potential houses that you might get a huge bargain on in a new area.
Have you looked at North west NJ? like Rockaway, Dover, and Sussex. They aren't terribly far from Parsippanny, but might be cheaper cause they aren't right near NYC.
I have read your post 4 times already and I read the responses atleast twice.
After all that I still do not have a clear cut answer for what I would do or any advice.
This is my logic and you can take it with a grain of salt. I believe I would take a step of faith and urge DH to take the job. Simply put like many pp have mentioned if he does not take the promotion now would one even be offered later? While you would be taking a loss for the house who is to say that you would even be able to get your money out of house when and if you decide to sale later down the road. Also with knowing you have a buyer of the house if it has not sold in 60 days is huge!
But I do have some drawbacks as well. What about a job for you? Also if I am correct I think your mom watches Andrew. What about a sitter for him if you have to go back to work.
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