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s/o Facebook Friends
Do you have a list of usual suspects that you KNOW will bring the crazy via status update?
If so, please tell me about them.
My #1 is this girl I was in Girl Scouts with years ago. She's a very sweet girl, but when she first got married, every.single.update was "OMG I LOVE MY HUSBAND!" My favorite was when she said she felt sorry for every other girl in the world because they can't have her husband. Seriously? Oh and FTR, her husband makes me want to throw up in my mouth. She's more than welcome to have ALL of that.
My #2 is this gay guy who feels the overwhelming need to state over and over again that he's out & proud. Great. Good for you. We get the picture. No one cares. He also cannot spell for his life & posts politically ignorant things on his wall CONSTANTLY. He also posts about Botox & Melanotan (sunless tanning injections).
ETA: & every status update has an accompanying picture regardless of whether or not its necessary. Ex: He posted some ridiculous nonesense about a girl he works with that asked him to cover her shift because she has lice. He posted a picture of a lice. Then dicussed putting voodoo spells on her in the comments. 
My #3 is this lady I used to work with that's hardcore right wing, retired military. I can pretty much guarantee a TEA party status from her once a day. SHE'S PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN, Y'ALL! I'm also pretty sure she refers to the President by the N-word in private. Klassy.
Re: s/o Facebook Friends
My #1 is really two people who might as well be one person.I've talked about them before. My 19 year old cousin and his 18 year old baby-mama/child bride. Every single update is "I love you so much baby you are my world." or "TOGETHER WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE NOTHING CAN STAND IN OUR WAY" A week ago they had some sort of fight, plastered the whole thing all over facebook, then had the audacity to say "it's personal" when people asked about it. I really really want to say something, but I'm not really involved in either of their lives, so telling them to stop being trashy on facebook seems a bit out of place. Also neither of them can spell. Or knows what punctuation is.
My #2 - A friend from high school who is basically the exact same 16-year-o;d I knew then. "My life is so awful and I'm sick of it" "I wish I knew how to let the walls down and feel something for once" blah blah blah life is awful emo nonsense.
This isn't any of my FB friends in particular, but along these lines as a general rule I'm not a fan of people posting "I have the best husband/boyfriend/spouse/whatever EVARRRR!!!"
I'm sure it's not meant this way (most of the time), but it comes off as childish. Like nanny-nanny-boo-boo my husband is better than your husband who couldn't possibly be as good because mine is the best EVER.
I'm not doing people, just general annoyances.
1. Vague FB statuses. "Two more hours..." "Can't wait!" "Anxious..." Stop being an AW and waiting for people to ask you what's going on. Just post it if you must.
2. Song lyrics/youtube music videos to describe how you're feeling. No one cares.
3. Spouses telling each other they love each other or other romantic BS on their walls. Go to the damn next room, jackass. Exception: long distance/deployment/OOT.
ETA: 4. Over-sharers. My god, keep it to your damn self.
One is a former high schoolmate--we were not close, but were friendly, and I actually spoke to her mom enough times to be under the impression that they were an intelligent family. No. Apparently her mom got all the brains. This chick is the ultimate in blond airhead. She posts statuses like she's 14, doesn't get jokes, uses too many exclamation points (the ones from the other thread were hers). I was embarrassed for her mother that she turned out so stupid.
Then I have a couple of former students. I like them as people, but jeebus. The cop killer one is from one of them. All he does is post epitaphs for cops and soldiers killed in the line of duty. I get it, you're patriotic and love law enforcement, but really?
The other is a girl that posts things like, "not feeling optimistic". Occasionally I look back at her profile to see if I've missed what she's getting tested for/not feeling good about/feeling sad about/wanting to jump off a bridge about, etc., but I never can find the beginning of the conversation.
Another was just a friend who started posting all kinds of majorly melodramatic statements about her husband, how he didn't care about her, what he wasn't doing to help, what kind of fight they got into. Then people would offer advice and she'd never take any. I couldn't take it anymore.
I have a few
1. A SAHM who posts a couple times an hour. X child had a banana for breakfast, K ran 1 mile today and felt good (every single time she exercises), K cleaned today, K is up at 5am again (she's posted this one every.single.day for the last 4 days)... Random stuff that NO ONE cares about. She also always comments on her post as soon as she posts it.
2. An old coworker who always posts how depressed she is, but never responds when you ask her what's wrong or just says "Oh nothing"
3. My cousin who always posts self portraits
4. Another old coworker who types like this: Myh cuzin sho me dat God iz wit me 4eva
I have never understood this! Why not just write it in the original status?!
That's what I say every time I read it!
Here's some quotes from my FB wall:
1) "Headed to dinner wit my SUPAman....luv this valentine's day!!!! Good to know that bae luvs me 365 dayz n not just this one day.....but this extra special treatment is oh so sweet.....luv u bae!!!! they paintin they own pictures tryna crop me in.....I came to win... to fight... to conquer.... to thrive....to fly!!!! Even though yall come at from every end STILL I RISE!!!"
2) "i think its really fucked up that people around here take advantage of my kids and other people , and dont have respect over other people that are very special to me like a very close friend i really have that i can tell her anything and everything iam just tierd of people really doing that *** and hurting other people all i have to say is what goes around comes around and *** GROW THE UPPPP!!!!!!!!"
Anyone else notice the Nest censored shiit but left fuuck, fuucked, and fuucking in there?
ETA: ok that was weird. They were definitely there a second ago.
I don't even know what this means. Cannot compute.