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aphrodisiac, please?
Is there such a thing? I mean, something that *actually* works?
I've been on bc (for regulation) since I was a freshman in college (I'm 25 now), but only started having sex about 7 months ago. My sex drive is awful, not to mention even when we do have sex is very hard for me to reach the peak, and never without some other assistance "down there."
Since I've only ever been on the pill, I don't know if my sex drive could be better than it is or not. I'm certain it should be, but I don't know if it could be. I went off bc for a month in between switching pills (that didn't help) and nothing changed during that month (though that could've not been a enough time to make a difference).
Poor FI is patient as ever and insists that it's just because I'm not mentally confident with it yet (or something like that) because I'm still fairly "new" to sex, but I don't think that's it. It takes a lot of work to get me in the mood, and usually I just do it for him because I'm just...meh. I try to please him.
Does anybody have advice?
Re: aphrodisiac, please?
Truthfully, I'm in somewhat of the same boat. And I'm certain it must have something to do with my BC because I used to be a very sexual person. We have a great sex...when we actually start having sex, but I have to make a sincere effort to get myself in the mood to do it.
I've got an appt on Thursday with the gyno. Are there any BC pills/methods that won't suppress my libido?
Sorry I'm not much help, but figured I might as well ask in a similar post.
Hey Ladies - I have the same issue and I'm strongly leaning towards going the Fertility Awareness/Natural Family Planning method for avoiding. I havent started yet but right now I'm reading about it.
I know some women have different experiences with different pills so you could certainly try switching it up, but I have tried three pills in the past - some worse than others, and I just dont think I'm up for trying again. (One pill had me really emotional and crying all the time).
Good luck in your search - perhaps try oral sex first to get you "warmed up" that generally works for me, I just wish I had a desire for sex like I used to.
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As much as it sucks, it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one out there. I basically just have to tell myself on certain days that it's a "sex" day. Sounds crazy, but I love DH and I enjoy sex, I just never get the "gatta have you now" feeling that would make it happen. So for now, I basically schedule it out in my head so that we don't fall into a slump. It's more effort than I would hope it to be, but if I don't, we would go a loooooong long time without it and I just don't see that as fair.
I don't know about the rest of it, but it is really common for a woman to NOT come from 'just sex,' that is, intercourse without clitoral stimulation.
Also, the way you say "down there," in quotes makes me a bit nervous...I assume you're talking about your clit? Makes me think you're not comfortable with saying/typing the real words and that could be a mental hurdle.
Maybe you have to get a little more comfortable with your body and yourself as a sexual being before the sex becomes as good as you think it could be.
Chandler Bing
"Everyone makes mistakes. Hell, history's full of 'em. Betamax... Waterworld... your brother who's 16 years younger than you... And there's really no shame in making mistakes. Just as long as nobody knows about them."
Greg the Bunny
I waited to have sex until I got married too, and I didn't start BCP until I got engaged. I definitely noticed a difference in my libido. Before BCP, it was the hardest thing to keep my hands off my fiance! After I started BCP, my desire level just wasn't the same, and still isn't now that we're married. My now-husband has noticed a drop off in my desire level too, coinciding with me starting BCP.
BCP may not be the only cause, and it's hard to tell because you've not known anything else, but I certainly wouldn't discount it. Hormones control and influence so much in our bodies, and changing that balance isn't going to leave everything just as it was. If this is a continuing concern for you, you should definitely talk to your doctor. S/he might suggest a different type of birth control or something.
OP - I'm not sure that I believe in aphrodisiacs. You can always google it and just start trying things. I think it's more of a mental trick than anything - but whatever works, right?
As far as my experience with this goes... I was on generic for Yasmin for a long time and never had any negative sexual side affects. My sex drive was always pretty high while on it. I had to go off it about 8 months after we got married due to high blood pressure. I tried an ortho low pill which I did not like and an progesterone only pill which my body liked even less. On both of those my sex drive tanked (for about 2 months each.) After much reading I decided to go the FAM/NFP route and have loved being off hormonal BCP since. I hesitate to ever recommend BCP because every woman's body is different, but, I'd probably still be on Yasmin generic if it wasn't for my blood pressure.
Oh - and - as far as needing help "down there" - I agree with PP - that's completely normal. Very rarely do I have an orgasm without oral or manual clitoral stimulation from my husband .
THere is no such thing as an aphrodisiac. That's an old wive's tale.
See your gyn -- maybe he can change your BC or maybe discontinue it; perhaps you may not need it anymore for regulation. It's been several years that you've been taking it.
Thanks ladies! I'm glad I'm not the only one with this sort of problem (though I wouldn't wish it upon anyone either!). It's hard getting in the mood and then staying in the mood too--I feel so distractable sometimes!
I'm so busy right now with everything that I think I'll just have to put off going back to the doctor for now. And I just switched birth controls a few months ago. We are getting married in May so I'm thinking maybe after that I'll go back and try something else. But before then--I'm just too busy and don't want to mess around with it just before the wedding since I'm *just* getting used to the stuff that I'm on now (you know how it takes a couple of months). I hope that makes sense! I think I'm going to do another post on another form of BC that I'm curious about and see what anyone says about it (IUD's).