December 2007 Weddings
WA1215
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Birthday vent.
Im starting to feel down about my upcoming 30th Birthday. DH is going out of town the week and weekend before. He wants to know what I want to do for it. I dont really have any friends (my friends are DH's friends), so no party for me. We really don't have the money to do something big (like a weekend trip). And, I just thought at this point in my life things would have been different (kids, stable job for DH). Im just feeling depressed about it all, and needed to vent. 
Re: Birthday vent.
I wish you lived closer b/c I would totally go out with you for your bday!
Aw, me too! You turn 30 next month too-dont you?
Yup, on the 16th.
DH is mad at my work friends b/c they are throwing me a party and they planned it without talking to him. He's being a big baby about it all this week, even though he knew about it 3 weeks ago.
Oh geeze! He needs to get over it! Do you know what they are planning?
Ok Kel, I'm going to say this in the nicest way I can...first, I'm sorry that you are feeling down. I know b-days do that to some people...however, you are the only person who can change your current situation. Yes, you have a partner and you two have a plan, but you are obviously not happy right now. Maybe it's time for a new plan...Maybe you need to push your H to take the first job he can get. Can't he take something and then you continue to help him look for something better? I know I sent countless applications for K over the last year. Maybe you need to get a part time job. It seems like something needs to change. I just feel like you are feeling stale...believe me, I've been there! I totally hate that feeling!
The past 15 months or so have be ROUGH over here. Rougher than we ever thought, but we made it to here. Yes I had times when I was sad, depressed, pissed, you name it...but sometime a few months ago I was so annoyed with other people whining (especially on FB) that I decided to make an effort to try not to complain about all the things that happen that suck from day to day. It wasn't long before my attitude changed. I caught myself seeing the plus side off the bat in most situations.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do...just trying to encourage you and see what you think about a plan makeover...
whenever I'm feeling down i go get my big girl panties and then read this:
" So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you're off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you're born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy."
HTH!
I agree 100% with Tiff. It sounds like you have a lot hinged on your DH findng a job. I know you guys had a plan to TTC when he did that and that was the reason why you didnt want to get a job. But you keep saying that money is tight and that DH isnt finding anything, so I would at least look for something PT. It will help you guys financially and I bet it will help your self esteem - you will get out of the house, meet new people, etc. I don't think it could hurt. Then once DH does find something, you can start TTC and once you get pg, you can quit.
Trust me, I know what it is like to not have friends to hang out with. All of my friends live further away. So I get to see them occasionally, but it takes alot of effort on my part, especially now that I have Emmy.
And the last 6 months have sucked royally for me, so I know how it feels to be dreading a date. Yesterday was my due date and it sucked more than I thought it would. I have a lot going on personally, which isnt helping. But I know better days are coming, but those days will only come if I work towards them.
Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
Charlotte Lillian will be forever in our hearts.
Baby #3 - Little Bean - natural miscarriage - 1/17/11 @ 5w5d
It is hard when life is not going the way you thought. Have you thought about doing something PT to at least make a little bit of money and meet people? That might kill two birds with one stone (make a little bit of money and make some friends).
Could you do something with your mom and sister for your birthday?
I don't have any advice because I never really do anything with anyone for my birthday except for G and that is mostly go out to dinner.
If you lived closer we would totally go out and do something.
I'm sorry, Kel. I also know how it feels to just feel sort of stuck. I'm sure we've all been there at some point. I also understand how a "milestone" birthday can be a reminder of the things you don't have or haven't done....but try to focus on what you do have. Sure, you may not be exactly where you thought you'd be at this point in your life, but that's okay!
I like the suggestion pp's have given to try to get out there and find something to do. I think it would be a good idea for you to get a part-time job somewhere, even if it's just something "fun," like working at a store in the mall or at a coffee shop or something. Or find somewhere to volunteer. When you're not working, it's pretty much impossible to meet people and make new friends...I've been there.
I think you should focus over the next few weeks on what kinds of things you can do (that you have control over, of course) that will make 30 an awesome year for you.
(And of course, you know that if we all lived closer, we'd all happily come to a party for you!)
Our Blog!
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Thanks for all of the advice, and kick in the butt I apparently needed!
Carrie, I have already began today with positive thoughts on what I need to focus on in the next month
Let me clear some things up.
The main reason we are waiting to TTC, is for insurance reasons. I have health insurance but no PG coverage. We are trying to be responsible about this, and wait it out until DH can find a job that comes with benefits (bc if I were to get PG coverage now, it would cost and arm and a leg!).
DH has sent out countless resumes, only to get a small handful of interviews-not one job offer to even consider. Believe me, if he gets an offer he will take it! We know many people where we live in the same boat, people in our own family.
I just needed to vent, and thought you ladies would understand. I had a really bad day yesterday. But, today is a new, better day
you know you can always vent to me. we have talked about all this and i understand your frustration. i think sometimes we all feel the way you feel right now or did.
thinking about you.
also know that if i lived remotely close to you we would go out for your birthday.