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SIL vent
Okay, so my SIL doesn't like me, and that's fine. There are a lot of things about her that I disagree with but I keep my mouth shut about it.
Example: her and my brother are not married. When she had my nephew she lied about his last name (to my brother) and then when she got caught (because he saw his own son's birth certificate *gasp* she lied and said it was illegal because they aren't married....).
Also, she's married to another man (although long-time separated) but said he was contesting a divorce, which he's not.
And she doesn't work, and couldn't get welfare because she hadn't done her taxes in 3 years. She said her (not-yet)-ex-husband would take the return from her, even though she's raising her other two kids.
Point of rant: she just gave my brother an ultimatum to step up and provide better for her, her two kids and their one kid, or she'll leave.
Ugh. Can you say trash?
Thanks for listening... I had to get it out somewhere!
Re: SIL vent
Why isn't this post titled 'My brother is an idiot and makes crappy life choices'?
Does she sound like the type of person I would like or choose to associate with? Absolutely not. Is most of this on your brother? Absolutely.
He made the choice to get involved with a woman that is still married, even if it's just on paper. He then made the choice to have a child with her. If you know that she is a mess financially, he must know this too.
It's his choice to respond to her ultimatum. He can leave her and fight for custody of their child.
BTW I originally thought this had to do with the earlier SIL thread...I didn't know what to expect when I opened it.
The more I think about this post the more I feel bad for everyone (mostly the kids) in this situation. I really hope it works out for them!
Your brother does realizes that since she is married, the husband (even if she is separated) is the legal child of his son. He knows that, right? She may have a point about the birth certificate.
And as a married woman, her husband's income counts on her Welfare application and if has any income, is grounds to disqualifies her.
If she isn't employed and therefore doesn't have an income, why would she file a tax return? Unless she is talking about the child tax credit, that yes, the father of the children is entitled to as well. And if he files first, then he gets it. That's how the IRS does it. But still, he's probably filing jointly, since he's married, so she is filing a tax return.
Leave? And go where? With what money?
Trash? Are you talking about your brother's baby-mamma, or him?
Question on the above - I don't think he can legally count the child as a tax credit because legally the kid is not his, it is the other guy's. If the woman was not married, I think it would be a valid claim.
Another thought the original poster is legitimizing her brother's relationship and behavior by identifying this woman as a SIL, which the child's mother definitely is not.
As trashy as this woman is, the brother is way worse for creating and accepting it - it seems psychologically deflective to dump on the woman.