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Changing careers soon - advice?
This is my first post on the nest, I'm feeling kind of isolated on this upcoming change and just wanted to know if anyone else has gone through it or has advice on dealing.
My husband and I own our own business and love working together and spending our days together. However, it's tough to run a business and rely on income that fluctuates constantly, and I have always been very academic and lately have felt mentally stagnant. When we go for days at a time with no gigs, I feel terribly useless and restless. Add to this no health insurance and the fact that we are nowhere near where we want to be financially, and we want to start thinking about kids soon-ish, and I've decided that I want to go back to school to become an R.N before kids come along.
The problem is that H seems to be very hurt by this. He loves working with me, and I think he may be feeling abandoned. It's a very unique situation because of the type of business we have. I do know that everyone else I've told has been supportive and positive, but he can only seem to see the downsides and makes comments about how I won't get to travel anymore (one major perk is we get paid to fly out to awesome places with all expenses covered) and how we'll be apart a lot of the time, etc. How can I make him understand that not only will this make me happier, it will be better for us in the long run?
Re: Changing careers soon - advice?
Obviously, this is just a message board, and I'm confident I'm missing pieces of this puzzle, but the way I'm reading it, he may be right. It sounds like you've already decided, but it's not clear that you discussed your reservations or misgivings with him seriously before making this decision. I'm not being snarky, but didn't you know about the health insurance, the mental stimulation, and the financial situation when you embarked on this business together? It sounds like you agreed to do something with him and are now changing your mind without his input or agreement. It's not a matter of him understanding what you've alraedy decided is best-it's about coming to this agreement together, as a team, or at least making him feel like he participated in the decision.
I appreciate your comment, it did make me stop and think - is that how it went down? Did I make this decision alone, and does he feel abandoned? So I asked him if he felt that way, and he said not at all. For the past year or two we've tossed around the idea of me getting another job. He said he was mostly worried that I'd feel angst and regret that would get aimed at him when he is gone for weeks at a time or gets to go on some awesome adventure. I really don't feel that I will, especially since one of us (me) would have had to start staying at home for those longer gigs once we had kids anyway. This line of work has always been his passion, the thing that he was born to do - I just like it. I thought I'd go from liking it to loving it passionately just like he does, but I still just like it...and that's ok. He knows that and is fine with it. I don't regret a second of any of it, it's just time to look forward and move on. H has also said he will be more supportive of that decision and won't make comments that sting or just make it harder for me.
I do appreciate your comment very much, it led to a great conversation that put both of us at ease. Thanks.