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Would you go? (aka Am I a Prude?)
In Japan, communal hot-spring baths are a big thing (they're called onsens and are usually separated by sex). I haven't gone to one yet, even though I would sort of like to. I'm just not big on being naked in public. Usually the opportunity to go to one arises with friends, and that makes it seem even more awkward (it would be one thing with close friends from home, but with people here I'm definitely not at that level of comfort). I want to experience something that's such a big part of Japanese culture, but also... the idea of a big group bath makes me uncomfortable (or would at least would require a few beers to start sounding like a good idea).
Totally lame? I mean, I KNOW I should just get over it and go, but... am I the only one that thinks the situation sounds really uncomfortable??
Re: Would you go? (aka Am I a Prude?)
Okay, I get super grossed out at the thought of other people's nakedness (and possibly smelliness and hairiness) being near me, especially around water. I haven't used the pool at the gym and I don't go in jacuzzis when we stay in hotels because of that. It skeeves me out big time.
BUT, if it's something you'll want to look back on and say you did, then crack open a few beers and do it. Maybe just go with C, or a close-ish friend or two who may be as nervous as you (or one who doesn't give a care and will help you through it!). You might not get a chance to do it again. You may be uncomfortable for a little bit, but you'll have the memory and story forever. It's up to you.
I've seen the hot-spring baths in Japanese documentaries and magazines, and I'd have loved to go to one. However, like you, I'm not too comfortable with the idea of being naked in public, and even less in front of acquaintances or friends.
If I had the opportunity, I'd probably go alone or with the hubby - at least, for the first time.
On a side note, this reminds of a Korean series, "Iris", in which the two main characters (a guy and a girl) went to a Japanese hot-spring bath in Akita, Japan. They ended up staying in their swimming suits, covered under a towel, and just deeping their feet in the water :-)
So...I did do this. There's a hot springs place up in Clear Lake, and DH and I went. It was...a bit awkward for me. I am fairly shy and not particularly confident with my body. But I tried it and it was pretty awesome. It helped that no one's body was perfect.
I say try it with DH, if he's up for it. Then, once you're more comfortable with the situation, go with friends. Honestly, I can't wait to go back!
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That's really tough. I'm not comfortable being naked or even semi-naked around other people. Never have been, but I think it's worse now that I'm overweight. When I go to the gym, I feel like I'm the only women using the curtain to change behind. I just don't feel comfortable otherwise.
I think in your case though, the nakedness would be really quick and I'd probably try to go just for the experience.
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I don't think you're lame at all.
Is there going to be a time when friends or family members will be visiting and you could go in a group with them? That would be my top choice.
How bad would it be if you wore a swim suit?
I say try and find a way to bring it into your comfort zone but if you can't then skip it. No reason to torture yourself over it.
As for me, I would probably be pretty uncomfortable with the idea but if I was with a group that I was relaxed around then I may try it.
I think that's worse. I'd rather be naked in front of strangers than people I know who are going to think about it and remember it.
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I would do it! I would actually pick a time to go alone first, though. I'm the same where I feel more comfortable around strangers than around people I have to see all the time.
I go to Kabuki Springs here in SF, which is a Japanese style bath house and I absolutely love it. I go alone because they request medatative silence and it's just a really nice relaxing way to spend a day by myself.
I also find that there's a lot more anxiety around what might happen or how you might feel. There are all kinds of shapes and sizes when I go and no one seems to care one way or another about what anyone else is doing or looks like. I do occasionally see someone in a swimsuit, and I think if that's your comfort level it's perfectly fine, although they do stick out since everyone else is naked.
Don't be nervous! Bathhouses are wonderful and I'll bet it's an experience you'll look back on as being glad you did it.
Nope, I wouldn't do it. Being with people I know would be even worse than with strangers, especially if we're in the "friend zone" (i.e. it's not my mom and my sister, but other couples that I may or may not be very close to).
When my friend visited Japan and stayed with a host family, it was expected that she go with them, so she wore a bathing suit. She said she already stuck out because she's American, so she didn't mind if people judged her for wearing a swim suit!
You're not a prude if you don't want your jiggly bits out there for others to see!
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Haley Beth ~ March 3rd, 2011
I would totally do it...especially with strangers, rather than friends.
At the Grand Wailea in Maui, as part of the spa there is a huge "bath" area. It has the Japanese baths, Roman baths, mud baths, seaweed baths, massage showers, etc...It is mainly nude (men and women are separated completely), but a lot of people wore swimsuit bottoms. I went twice while we were there. The first time I wore my bottoms because I was more nervous about my own body than anything. The second time I totally went with the spirit of it and derobed completely. After the first 5 minutes, I totally forget we were all naked.
Don't know if I'd want to do it with quasi-friends (not those bff's you've already seen naked a million times over).
Go by yourself, crack open a beer before you head in and just breathe. I think you might regret it if you don't even try. Hey, if you get there and HATE it...just fake a headache or stomach ache and bolt.
Major cultural experience? Check.
Opportunity for personal growth/stepping outside one's comfort area? Check.
Do it for those two reasons alone!!
I'd probably be more comfortable going with strangers rather than 'not great friends'
I used to use the hot tub in the women's locker room at the gym.
Swim suits are a no-no?
Hi Everyone, I'm new here and a little late to this post, but I love Onsen! It's an amazing relaxing experience.
But with that being said, it's really putting yourself out there and I wouldn't call you prude for not wanting to do it. Generally they don't allow swimsuits and as polite as the Japanese culture is, they will stare, shamelessly stare at you as you shower and get in the baths. Since I'm half Japanese and have darker skin, they LOVE to stare at me. But I've also been going to onsen since I was born so it doesn't phase me anymore.
Wow, thank you all for the input. Interesting perspectives!
Wearing a bathing suit would solve the problem, but they're not allowed, unfortunately. The way smbsantacruz put it inspires me to get over it and give it a go, but I also feel better knowing other people would be uncomfortable with it too and it's not so terrible if I decide it's not for me. I have 2 more years here to work up the courage, so we'll see what happens!
Thanks again!
Hey, cool! Where in Japan are you? We've been here for 2 years too and have at least another 2 to go. Nice to see someone else around here who's in Japan!
No, I wouldn't go. I appreciate the cultural significance of this practice in Japan, but it's not something I'd enjoy or be comfortable with. I don't see myself looking back in 50 years and wishing I had done this.
If you don't feel comfortable with it, I see no reason to force yourself, and I do not at all think you're a prude. I think you're right that going with casual friends might even make it more uncomfortable...