f/u to H Vent

shuga_23 · February 2011

So last night was really bad...Abe cried nonstop.

At 11:00 Seth went down to sleep on the couch.

Seriously.

KatieLG04 · February 2011

I hate to think of how tired he will be today Confused

jgreg29 · February 2011

KatieLG04:
I hate to think of how tired he will be today

Yes. :-P

I ran it by Matt to see his response. First words out of his mouth: "That's going to get him in trouble."

Mrs.ErikaMay · February 2011

Wait, are you saying at 11:05 you didn't go down to the couch to tear him a new one and get his ass back upstairs? Because that would be unacceptable in my book, and you better damn well believe DH would have been forced to stay up with me for at least some of the night, even if the whole time you are nursing and he "can't do anything."

Time to let your inner biatch fly I think, Brianne.

MaineIslandBride · February 2011

Mrs.ErikaMay:
Wait, are you saying at 11:05 you didn't go down to the couch to tear him a new one and get his ass back upstairs? Because that would be unacceptable in my book, and you better damn well believe DH would have been forced to stay up with me for at least some of the night, even if the whole time you are nursing and he "can't do anything."

Time to let your inner biatch fly I think, Brianne.

All of this!!

rbagsgirl · February 2011

MaineIslandBride:
Mrs.ErikaMay:

Wait, are you saying at 11:05 you didn't go down to the couch to tear him a new one and get his ass back upstairs? Because that would be unacceptable in my book, and you better damn well believe DH would have been forced to stay up with me for at least some of the night, even if the whole time you are nursing and he "can't do anything."

Time to let your inner biatch fly I think, Brianne.

All of this!!

Ditto - let him have it!

tripin · February 2011

ouch, that would NOT go so well in my house.... I have had these fights before and they usually involve the F word a lot.

sorry sweetie. They really just don't have a clue.

kristen80 · February 2011

((hugs)) I'm sorry you had such a crappy night. Definitely sit down and talk to him today about it - neither of you should be the only one getting up and you can either block off time periods (like you take care of bedtime thru 1 am, and Seth does 1 am to wakeup or whatever), or you can alternate each time he wakes. We've done both ways and they both work depending on what your needs are at the time. An important thing to bring up is that the more this goes on, the more exhausted you're going to get and the more you're going to resent DH, which is obviously not good. You can get through it and come out stronger...communication is key because these problems don't go away w/ kids. I went through a similar thing and we came out stronger than ever. Hang in there and try to sit down and talk today...GL!

kristen80 · February 2011

Oh, and just another tip. If you do talk to him today, emphasize that you're a TEAM of parents and need to work together, not against each other. And also remind Seth how important it is for Abe to grow up w/ parents who have good communication and can work together, since that's the glue that binds the family and ultimately makes kids happy (which is everyone's goal in the end). GL again!

Interrobang · February 2011

kristen80:
Oh, and just another tip. If you do talk to him today, emphasize that you're a TEAM of parents and need to work together, not against each other. And also remind Seth how important it is for Abe to grow up w/ parents who have good communication and can work together, since that's the glue that binds the family and ultimately makes kids happy (which is everyone's goal in the end). GL again!

Really good point!

... although I probably would have gone and throttled him in your position. I know that being parents is still a new thing, and he is probably adjusting and men truly may not be hardwired the way we are to give 100% + in that kind of situation and therefore he may truly not realize how this is coming off ... BUT that doesn't mean he can't learn and be more helpful for you! **hugs**

Glitzyklm · February 2011

i agree with pp, you've got to lay down the law! I'd let him know how disappointed you are in his choices.

You are such a good mommy and give 190% to that little guy. It must be really really frustrating.

Hang in there and I hope that Abe feels better soon!

maeghan21 · February 2011

You definitely need to have a "team" talk. I am a SAHM and when it was late at night and DH had work the next morning I did do everything unless something was really wrong and then DH couldn't help but come in to see if he could help in anyway. Seth should want to help. His son is crying. That's not cool. We all have our moments of wanting to just lay there, but then you buck up because your a parent.

I hope Abe gets better soon and I hope you put the smack down on Seth. Does he have anyone, guy, who he can talk to and relate etc.?

kclouts · February 2011

I'm sorry Brianne. I would have been down there at 11:05pm ripping his head off.

klv · February 2011

I am sorry. That stinks. I would have plopped the baby down next to him at 11:02 and went back upstairs to bed.

danieleandwayne · February 2011

I agree with pps.

I even ran it by Wayne as a hypothetical situation. He immediately said he'd try and feed the baby, change the baby, walk around and rock him, and try and get him comfortable. When I asked who would be doing all this, he said "both of us. Not one of us all the time." Never once did he say "well you'd be breastfeeding so I couldn't do anything."

I don't know what Seth's issue is, but he had better resolve it soon or there will be a swarm of Nestie women over at your house henpecking him to death.

I really hope he gets over whatever this phase is of his-- for all y'all's sake, but mostly because I think you're awesome and you do not deserve to feel this way. I know you love Seth and he was pretty good during the pregnancy, but Abe's birth was not the finish line and Seth needs to keep up the work he started all those months ago. You CAN take care of Abe all by yourself and still be amazing at work, in the kitchen, etc. Because you're talented and smart and dedicated to being a good all-around person. But that doesn't mean you should have to do it all by yourself.

(hugs)

appleofmyeye · February 2011

Mrs.ErikaMay:

Wait, are you saying at 11:05 you didn't go down to the couch to tear him a new one and get his ass back upstairs? Because that would be unacceptable in my book, and you better damn well believe DH would have been forced to stay up with me for at least some of the night, even if the whole time you are nursing and he "can't do anything."

Time to let your inner biatch fly I think, Brianne.

I agree! You are suppose to be a team and it's a Saturday night.... it's not like he had to work today!

jl&jl · February 2011

Frustrating! This has happened in my house too. I've figured out that Justin really gets into a trance at night and is a different person. He has no idea what's going on and he doesn't realize he's acting the way he does. Which is no excuse. Is it really that men are born with no parental instincts or they just ignore them?

mjellison81 · February 2011

I'm a little late to the party, but I pretty much ditto what all PPs have said. I hope you two are able to sit down, and you can tell him exactly how much this upsets you and why, and he is able to see it all from your perspective. From seeing you in action, I know you are an incredible mother to Abe, and both of you need Seth's support 110%, especially in a situation where Abe is sick. Hang in there, I'm thinking of you!

meganmarieCA · February 2011

I would've killed him. I agree with everyone else -- you guys need to sit down and work out a system so that he participates more and you don't wind up resenting him.

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