Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Is this strange- MIL

Let me preface by saying I am in NO WAY sticking my nose in, just wondering if this is as strange as I think it is.

SIL is getting married in June.  She and the IL's live in England.  Me and DH and his brother and his family will all be going to England from the states.  The plan is for DH and I to stay at SIL's while we're there and BIL and family to stay at the IL's.  Recently, MIL told BIL and family that the kids could stay at their house, but there wasn't room for BIL/SIL so they're going to a hotel.

Now they've just been told that everyone has to be out of the house on the night before the wedding because SIL will be staying there and getting ready there the next day.  

I don't know why I find this so strange... does it seem strange?  I guess I could understand them- the kids- being out of the house while SIL gets dressed but they're old enough not to be running around stressing anyone out or anything.

What do you think?  Weird or understandable? 

ETA: Got it.  Not weird.  Thanks!

Image and video hosting by TinyPicInternational Nestie!Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Is this strange- MIL

  • First, what "kids" are you talking about? Whose kids and how old?  

    I think trying to host people in your home while preparing for a wedding is a lot to take on, period.  We had one OOT BM stay w/ us, but she's relatively low maintenance.  But we made arrangements for her to stay w/ a friend the night of the wedding becasue we were staying in our home that night! 

    And I understand SIL not wanting a lot of people around (even adults) the morning she's getting ready.

    Honestly, to me, it makes sense for everyone to just stay in a hotel for the duration of the stay. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I think the bride found out about the plans and was like "you have HOW many people trying to use the bathroom and mirrors while I try to get ready for my wedding?"  And I don't blame her, really.
    image
  • imageReturnOfKuus:
    I think the bride found out about the plans and was like "you have HOW many people trying to use the bathroom and mirrors while I try to get ready for my wedding?"  And I don't blame her, really.

    HAHA!  I didn't even think of this- there's actually only one bathroom in their house too!  There are 4 kids- three 8 year olds and a 13 year old.  I guess the part I find strange is to offer the house and then kick everyone out for that night.  Why offer the house in the first place?  If it were us, I would prefer just being in a hotel the whole time instead of doing all that moving around.  

    I don't know- we had six boys staying in our house for our wedding and I stayed with all my bridesmaids the night before my wedding... it was fun that way.  But that's me.  

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicInternational Nestie!Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I don't think its strange at all.
  • imagekellibelli04:

    I guess the part I find strange is to offer the house and then kick everyone out for that night.  Why offer the house in the first place?  If it were us, I would prefer just being in a hotel the whole time instead of doing all that moving around.  

    Then stay in a hotel!!  She's offering.  You don't have to stay there at all.  And really - I have to wonder if the offer was put out there before they really thought about it.  Then once they thought about it, they felt bad about saying "you can't stay here at all" - so she's letting you all stay for part of it.

    but it's up to you.  Stay in a hotel the whole time! 

     

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • Not strange at all. 
    Hope is not a strategy.
  • imageEastCoastBride:
    imagekellibelli04:

    I guess the part I find strange is to offer the house and then kick everyone out for that night.  Why offer the house in the first place?  If it were us, I would prefer just being in a hotel the whole time instead of doing all that moving around.  

    Then stay in a hotel!!  She's offering.  You don't have to stay there at all.  And really - I have to wonder if the offer was put out there before they really thought about it.  Then once they thought about it, they felt bad about saying "you can't stay here at all" - so she's letting you all stay for part of it.

    but it's up to you.  Stay in a hotel the whole time! 

     

    It's not us- we're staying with SIL and future BIL.  I was just curious for BIL and his family.  

    I'm really not judging anyone in the situation.  Just wondering if it was a strange thing to do... The IL's are pretty generous so I'm thinking you might be right and they overextended the invitation for people to stay or SIL decided she wanted to spend one more night at home after they'd already put out the invite... no biggie! 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicInternational Nestie!Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • She clearly offered the house before the bride found out and knocked some sense into her.  Shake it off; it's nothing personal.
    image
  • WahooWahoo member
    Ancient Membership 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    Staying in a hotel for one night is a lot cheaper than staying in a hotel for several days / one week.

    My mom invited my aunt and uncle (siblings, not a married couple) over their home before my wedding.  Plus my two sisters.  I ended up staying in a hotel, b/c I did not want to share a bathroom with six other people (the shower in the room I would have slept in gets no water if the person in the other bathroom is using the shower).  I was pretty angry.

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • No, I don't think it's strange at all. My parents have a townhome, with one bathroom. She was going to have the grandparents stay at our house for my sisters wedding and I put my foot down on it. We're not close with the OOT grandparents, so of all the people I thought should be around, it wouldn't be them...and it would be too much commotion. To me, my parents worried too much about taking care of the out of towners and not enough about my sister. At the time, my parents only had 2 bedrooms, so it would been a lot of people camping out, and I just couldn't see having all the stuff everywhere when it came time for pictures. They did stay up until 3:00 AM playing poker before shoving off to their hotel...noone was concerned about the bride getting some rest...but me!

    So no, I completely agree with it...and don't think it's the bride's decision, it's probably not anything she thought of, it's probably someone thinking of her (for once!)

    To me, it's like your inlaws trying to be considerate of everyone's budgets and accomodating people for most nights so they don't have to stay in a hotel...except for the one night

  • NukkeNukke member
    Fifth Anniversary
    I think the MIL didn't think things through when she offered accommodations.  The bride's requests seem completely reasonable to me, and it sounds like your MIL is handling it well. 
    Our Wedding Website
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic image
  • imageReturnOfKuus:
    I think the bride found out about the plans and was like "you have HOW many people trying to use the bathroom and mirrors while I try to get ready for my wedding?"  And I don't blame her, really.

    This exactly - my parents did the same thing when I got married and I freaked out about the additional 10 people they had staying in our 2 bathroom house (14 people total).  Like I didn't have enough to be worrying about.  So no, I don't find it weird.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards