December 2007 Weddings
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Lucie started daycare today

And I bawled before I even said goodbye. I know that I've already been back at work but it's been easier knowing she's at home with DH or my mum. I trust the girl looking after her with all my heart but she's been having a rough time trying to sleep when she's not at home and gets crabby when she's tired and cried yesterday when we were over there trying to get her used to it. Also, I have a twang of jealousy that this girl gets to be with her in the day and take her to all the things I would do if I could stay at home. It makes me depressed.

She did text me a while ago though to say she had already pooped 3x, eaten 7oz and was now napping. I can't pump 7oz in a feeding and that seems like a lot of food for her but I'm going to probably have to supplement which makes me a little sad but I'm trying to come to terms with it. I'm taking everything I possibly can to increase my supply and it's worked but I can only pump 12oz in the day and it sounds like she might be eating more like 18-20!

Re: Lucie started daycare today

  • Aw Caroline, Im sorry it was tough today ((hugs)).  Remember it's only natural and normal how you are feeling.  I dont remember, will she be around other babies in her daycare?
  • I am so sorry you're feeling this way.  I can't say I know exactly how you feel about having Lucie in daycare, since my mom watches Andrew, but I understand.  And I totally understand the jealousy thing and it's perfectly normal.  I'm jealous every time I'm at work and not with Andrew.  I'm jealous of my mom, grandmom, and anyone else that's with him for the day.  Last Monday when everyone was off for President's day, I had to work.  My parents, grandparents, and aunt and uncle all spent the day together with Andrew, ordered pizza and were having a great time.  I was happy for them and for Andrew, but at the same time I was so annoyed inside.  Then I feel guilty about being annoyed when I should just be happy that he's well taken care of and having a great time.  I'm jealous of SAHMs and honestly get annoyed sometimes wondering how did they get to be in that position when we're not financially able to work and all I've ever done is work my butt off and save my money.  It's hard not to have those feelings!  And I also understand it getting you depressed because I've been there lots of times too. But it sounds like Lucie is doing great and that she didn't have a hard time transitioning at all.  That's great news!  And you are doing amazingly with BFing!  Seriously...it's very rare for a FT working mother to not have to supplement with formula and the fact that you haven't had to do that so far is really impressive.  I think if it takes some of the pressure off of you and you are okay with it, then you should start thinking about supplementing with formula.  Andrew got plenty of formula as a baby...that's just the way it had to be.  I knew I was doing the best I could and that was all I could do.  Hang in there mama!
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  • Aw Caroline - I know how you feel. :(    I could barely drive to work the first day I dropped Emmy off.

    I actually think it is easier to drop her off and be jealous of the daycare people than it would be for my MIL to have her all day. Then I would be SUPER jealous. Now, it sucks, but I know that she is well taken care of and gets alot of interaction with other kids. Plus, she runs (well crawls really fast) to me when I pick her up, so that makes it worth it.

    I was bummed out last week when I went to pick her up and they had her walk to me all by herself. She had taken a few steps here and there at home but nothing like she did that day. I was so mad at myself for not being the one to show her how to walk by herself. I still get teary eyed now thinking about it. But I have to remind myself that by working I am giving her a better life and for now, I have to do it. Hopefully once she is in school I can work part time, so that way I can be there when she really needs me.

    It will get easier, I promise. And I am sure Lucie will adjust to being someplace new. And I had to formula feed Emmy, and she is perfectly fine :)   I know you wanted to BF but making sure Lucie gets what she needs is most important. You have gone great so far and I know you will still do great no matter what you do!  

    M & D - 12/29/2007
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    Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
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  • A little late, but I am thinking about you.  How did the rest of yours and Lucie's day go?  I have no idea how you feel with the daycare, but I can only imagine.  I send you big ((((hugs)))).

     

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  • imageSuthrnBelle72:

    A little late, but I am thinking about you.  How did the rest of yours and Lucie's day go?  I have no idea how you feel with the daycare, but I can only imagine.  I send you big ((((hugs)))).

     

    She's doing great but it's really rough on me. She was happy as a clam yesterday but the minute I got her home she started screaming and every time she looked at me she would howl. It really upset me because now I'm wondering if she likes daycare more than me. I hate that I HAVE to work and don't have a choice. I wish I could be at home with her more than anything and I'm afraid she will hold it against me and continue to be unhappy with me.

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