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Moms: Babysitter question
So TJ goes to a sitter who is a good friend of ours. She has watched him since August of 2010 and has never had any issues(that I've noticed so far). She was only watching him and her little girl(who is 8mo old) but also started watching a 3 mo old in Jan. She doesn't have the little one every day that she has TJ. So far everything has been good. Yesterday, I get a phone call right when I get back from lunch. I couldn't answer but she left a voicemail. I called her right back(without listening to the voicemail) and she asked me if I could come pick TJ up. She said that she knew I had just got off lunch but that she had been dealing with 2 screaming kids(TJ and Phoenix-the 3 mo old) for the past hour and she just can't take it anymore. Both Terry and I were at work so I wasn't sure I would be able to. Luckily I got ahold of my dad who went over and picked him up.
While talking with her she told me that TJ had been screaming all day, while he ate, while he played, when she changed him, etc. She said that he didn't seem like he was in pain or anything just that he wanted to scream. My issue is this; what would've happened if I wouldn't have found someone to come get him. I am extremely uncomfortable with the fact that I don't know what she would've done with him if he had to stay there.
I'm not saying that I think she would hurt him, but when I listened to her voicemail she made the comment that he was even screaming when she put him in the pack-n-play. Now I know she normally only has him in there when he is napping, but the way she made it sound was that she ended up putting him in there because he was screaming. The bigger issue is that the pack-n-play is in thier computer room. It has no toys or anything in it, just a pillow. I've never used a pack-n-play so i was always fine with her using it for his naps but I really do not like the fact that she may have used it as a "punishment".
What gets me even more is that she had her grandmother over to help her with the kids, but she still couldn't "handle" TJ. What I also don't understand is that he never "screams" at home. he giggles and babbles but there is never any screaming. I am just so ticked about this whole situation. It really makes me question whether or not I want to send him over there anymore. I've talked with a few people about finding a new sitter and may have already found one. I just don't know how I can trust her with him after everything that went on yesterday. Any thoughts/ideas/suggestions? What would you do in this situation and do you think I am overreacting? Sorry this is so long..if you finished all of this you deserve a big cookie 
Married My Best Friend On May 23rd, 2009
Our Little Man is Finally Here!!!
<a href="http://s292.photobucket.com/albums/mm29/nrb0509/?action=view
Re: Moms: Babysitter question
TJ is probably jealous of the new baby and the shift in attention?
I guess I'd talk to her about what happened and find out if she's feeling overwhelmed and what she plans to do about it (ie. reduce the hours with the 3mo old, since TJ should be her priority)
you can't be "on call" to come pick up your son whenever she gets overwhelmed with the 3 babies, omg I'd be a wreck at work if I had to worry about that.
and go with your gut, if you talk to her and she is still going to have the 3mo old while TJ is there, and you still feel like she won't be able to handle TJ when he's like that then formalize another daycare option. I don't think the fact that she put him in the pack-n-play while screaming is necessarily bad ... that's one of the safest places for him if he's upset and she can't give him all of her attention. but if she puts him in another room often and as a way of managing all 3 babies then it would be a problem for me. putting him in the pack-n-play in the same room with toys while she feeds/changes the other babies seems reasonable to me.
Married My Best Friend On May 23rd, 2009
Our Little Man is Finally Here!!!
<a href="http://s292.photobucket.com/albums/mm29/nrb0509/?action=view
I want my cookie! LOL j/k
If it were me, I would look for a new sitter, but in the meantime, I would talk to her like pp said to find out exactly what happened and what her plan is to handle this (i.e. no more 3mth old or less 3mth old)? Did she put him in the pnp in the other room while he was upset? Depending on how you feel about what she says, you could let her know that is/isn't going to work for you and you will be looking for a new sitter or you will be taking him to a new sitter starting x date.
This.
Usually your first instinct is right.
She seems to be overwhelmed with the situation.
I can't picture my sitter ever calling to say "I can't handle your screaming child, You need to come pick him up" -that's crazy, IMO. I would want her to tell me if he's been crying and/or inconsolable all day. I wouldn't even mind a phone call to tell me that, but expecting me to just come pick him up in crazy.
I would talk to her and find out what really happened and why she felt she couldn't handle it. But I would probably be looking for someone new in the meantime. Like PP said, your instinct is usuallly right. If you don't have a good feeling about the situation, especially when it comes to your kids, change it.
Good luck!
Watching 3 small ones under 1 is going to be very stressful. I will say it is going to be a challenge for her probably the 1st few times to get everyone used to each other and to get them all on a schedule. I know when I 1st started watching 2 other little ones besides mine (4 under 3 at the time) the 1st couple weeks were a challenge. There was fighting and getting used to other. Now it's a piece of cake. I have nap schedules down, everyone gets along, lunch is at the same time, we have snack time figured out etc. No way could or would I want to care for another infant when I already had one at my house.
As for the PNP I bet she had him in there to take care of the other crying babies at the time. It really was the safest spot for him at that moment. My guess he was probably crying b/c he was so stressed w/ the situation himself. (The other babies crying etc) If you don't feel comfortable then by all means use the back up sitter you found. GL!
Ditto Kell on the P&P. I wouldn't stress about him being in that. My kids will (well have in the past) been in p&p to play at times and its nothing wrong with that. My sitter used them for naps and also used them while she was getting other kids around and settled down and I was okay with that.
But as far as her calling you at work to come get him. yea that would upset me and the whole situation that she really just didn't suck it up and deal with it for the day would make me nervous and I probably would look elsewhere (bc of the instinct you have).