Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Feeling miserable
Lucie has been so unhappy with me ever since she started daycare on Monday. I get 2 hours with her in the evening before she goes to bed and she has screamed and cried and just not been happy to be around me. Today I had to bring her into work for the morning as her sitter needed to finish up something at her old job and all she did was cry and scream and when my boss held her she stopped and likewise when her daughter came in and held her. It made me feel like crap. I burst into tears when her sitter came to get her and my boss walked right out of the room showing no concern. Yesterday when I told her she was fussy around me she said "It's because you left her, I never left my kids as babies, it's not nice." In a perfect world I wouldn't leave her, I don't have a choice. And if she feels it's not nice, maybe I should quit and leave her hanging.
I'm just so miserable. I don't want to spend my evenings with an unhappy baby whilst knowing she's so happy at daycare. It makes it worse that I hate my job so it's not even like I'm leaving her to do something I love. I'm having a serious conversation with DH this weekend about what we can make happen. I need to point out to him that while it's great that we're saving lots of money - even if I just worked PT till she went to school, I'll be 32 then and still have 30+ years of work ahead of me to save up. I'm willing to sacrifice so much to stay with my child. I know we'll probably end up having another child so it realistically will be longer but it's still several years of work ahead.
Thanks for letting me vent, I am just so sad. I knew I would have to come back to work, but I didn't know it would be this hard.
Re: Feeling miserable
Oh, Im sure Lucie isnt unhappy with you! Daycare is new, and her new schedule is probably making her a little fussy now and she will adjust soon. Its all new to her. Dont be so hard on yourself
Omg, I cant believe your boss said that to you
She is horrid.
I think a talk with your DH trying to figure something out for you to all be happy is a plan, and I hope you guys can figure something out. The elance thing you posted about could help out, and maybe quitting your job and finding something part time you can do from home sounds like what you want.
My heart breaks for you, I cant imagine how hard it has been for you. Let us know how the talk goes, and GL!
I'm sure there could be things you could cut. I would think if you didn't have Childress that is money saved, maybe freelance some, could you maybe do music lessons? <
caroline..i'm so sorry! I can only imagine how hard it is. so are yall able to cover all your necessities every month but wouldn't be able to save much if you quit? I know our dh's are alike in regard to budgeting and saving, so I could see that being the case.
dh does not like that I can no longer contribute to my 401k now that I'm part time, but he sees how much happier I am now that I'm out of a stressful environment and can work on my true passion. We had a lot of long talks about it. It's great to prepare for the future, but life is just too short to always look to tomorrow w/o enjoying today, ya know? I hope yall can work something out!
This is excellent advice
Aw Caroline, hang in there sweetie. It seems Lucie is just sensitive to a change in routine. Thankfully Emmy is so flexible that she doesnt seem to be bothered by things. Just give it time, it has only been a few days. Hopefully once she is adjusted more, she will be happier. She also might be tired from being somewhere new and taking in the other environment all day. Then once she gets to you, she is all worn out.
Just today, Emmy shooed me away when I got to daycare. They have been letting her hang out in the toddler room and she loves it. She didnt want to go home. She was sitting in front of the teacher along with the other kids watching her sing with hand puppets. I think she would have been fine if I left her there. It is tough but I am so happy that she is happy there. I would rather have her happy all day and be upset at night than to think of her crying all day long.
But if I could swing staying home, I would do it in a second. So if you have a chance to stay home or even work PT, then I would definitely do it.
Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
Charlotte Lillian will be forever in our hearts.
Baby #3 - Little Bean - natural miscarriage - 1/17/11 @ 5w5d
Your boss infuriates me to no end. You must be close to saintdom for staying there so miserable for so long. You're a better woman than me, that's for sure, because I would have told her exactly where she could stick it, and it wouldn't have been in a pretty language.
Lucie is not mad at you. I have no idea what you are going through, but I imagine going to work and leaving your child with someone else sucks. I have issues when I get a baby sitter every few months. Like Mel said, maybe she is just having a tough time adjusting to a new routine.Hang in there and please stop beating yourself up. You are a wonderful Mom, doing what is best so you can provide the best for her. It won't be forever (I hope)
I'm thinking about you, Mama! (((((hugs)))))
I'd really like to kick you boss in the face!
anyway...i hear L is better and I'm glad! now on to read your other job post.