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Rough night
Here is the situation:
You are woken up at 11:30ish by a big bang above your head followed by screaming of someone?s name. At first you think, ?OMG, something is wrong with the child upstairs.?, but then you realize the husband and wife upstairs are fighting. There is no question the big bang that woke you was of a person falling HARD. The yelling, stomping, banging and blood curdling screaming goes on for over an hour. The noises give the impression that the fight may have gotten physical. Things calm down, but you are woken up a couple of more times that night b/c of more yelling.
You understand that couples fight and some are more heated than others. You also want to respect their privacy, but at what cost? I don?t want to be that person that ignores abuse, if it is indeed happening. How can you be sure? Not sure if other neighbors heard it and I'm very hesitant to ask. I can't believe the kid didn't wake up. It's possible he wasn't there.
We?ve known our neighbor for over 3 years, her new husband for about a year. We do not have a close relationship, just a neighborly one. We've heard them argue before, but this fight was at a whole new level. I?m conflicted whether to send her a short e-mail just saying: ?Just checking in to see if you are ok.? Nothing else. Would that be stepping over the line or do we say nothing unless it happens again? This is a tricky dilemma.
Re: Rough night
Even if I didn't know them at all, if I suspected that things were getting physical I would've called the cops.
I would reach out to her so see if everything is ok.
Domestic violence isn't something I take lightly. I wouldn't be able to just sit back and wait for the chance that it might happen again.
Ditto.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
I'd have called the police last night.
Last year, on Oscar night, the woman downstairs from us and her boyfriend were having a terrible (on her end) fight, and we could hear someone wailing oncontrollably and we almost called the police.
Stand up for something you believe in.
You guys are right. We should've called the cops. Esp. since I know a 4yo lives there & regardless as to whether they were home or not. I just have never been confronted by something like this and H & I were beside ourselves over what to do. She was screaming at him most of the time. The whole thing is shocking to us.
So should I send her an e-mail to check on her?
I would've called the cops last night too.. When we lived in our apartment, we called one night at 3am because the woman upstairs was screaming and throwing dishes at her husband/boyfriend.
I'd shoot her an email today and make sure she's ok. That sounds like a really scary situation to be in.
I agree, I wouldn't email. Also, there's often a lot of shame being a victim of DV, she likely knows that all the neighbors heard. Unless you have a really close relationship with her, I wouldn't put her on the spot like that. Just call the cops the next time it happens.
Also, something a lot of people don't know - in many states (CO included), it's comsidered child abuse if a child witnesses (i.e., is in the same house) a domestic violence incident. It's traumatic for the child to experience something like that and is considered to be emotional abuse and neglect. Something to think about if you're every contemplating whether or not to call the cops. Most people don't think of the emotional effect it may be having on that child.
Thank you for this info. I hope to God that the LO was not home, but am committed to call the police should this happen again. it would kill me if the little one was affected.