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I dont think this is selfish
The baby is due in ten days is it to much to have peace & quiet & no drama OMG! We have lived away from my husbands family for almost a yr to be honest happy to be away from the drama & to have some peace & quiet!
The handful of times we spoke to some of them its always about what we can do for them or what they can borrow of course without returning & today finally one of them asked if we needed anything for the baby of course we said we got everything it was just the thought that counts. Putting an hour inbetween us has helped alot! We didnt attend any holiday functions. We agreed that they are welcome in the waiting room when the baby comes thats as far as it goes for both sides of the family.
Then DH's SIL calls yesterday that BIL left, the family agrees that that may be a good thing. He has a drug problem & there family have been enabling him. When we stopped coming around we would call every now & then & BIL accused DH of being a D*** for not coming around to be honest cause we where tired of being used.
I have never been around so many selfish people having tantrums like kids. Can my husband & I not enjoy this moment? If we where close to them when they call his cell I would answer, he wouldnt let the battery run dead, & better yet they wouldnt feel a need to send private phone calls hiding there number.
We have discussed it other than lending an ear we just simply arent going to get wrapped up in that. For some reason it burns some of his family up that he puts he & I & the kids 1st & not them & there kids & all there Extravegant needs 1st.
We have a nice home, we live in our means, make realistic goals, try to make sound investments. When other people squander, when my parents had issues we sugested a lawyer to be honest it was so nice that my DH suggested couneling & rehab good for him! You know no matter if people are family or friends I think when it gets to the point of being ridiculous & some people are an adult there has to be intervention.
I go to counceling myself to cope with these issues I have begged some of my own family for years to go to family counceling with me, just now making headway good for me! Also if god forbid we ever have marital problems we will be seeing a marriage councelor. We have tried so hard to show people that courtesy of working on our own things & trying to resolve our own issues & not dragging others down.
I think its so selfish for other people not to show the same courtesy & if people are always wanting help they really need to learn to help themselves. Im sorry this is long, but I felt like for awhile if it wasnt my family it was his family & even if I didnt need counceling I would go anyway cause its confidential & u can really get stuff off your chest & have some sort of guidance dealing with some things, yet the people that need it the most & cause the most damage are in such denial.
When u respond to this Im simply just asking for prayers that we have & continue to have peace in the home, & that these people find peace with in themselves thanks for listening.
(Im so glad that above all DH & I agreed its more about having this peace in our own home that is what we value the most & put 1st, our sanctuary a good nights rest things are actually going good he got a promotion & u know all these things are from hard work & we are not going to let those people jepordize any of this & not feel guilty about it, in the past we had given so much bled dry now is our time & they are just going to have to respect that. I wish with all my heart that when the baby comes we would have a wanderful photo op to fil our album, as for now its just me DH & our oldest this disappoints me.)
Back to my bed rest
Re: I dont think this is selfish
Holy run-on sentences, Batman!
Your post was almost impossible for me to read.
Prayers are not going to create boundaries, that's something that you and your husband have to do. Whether or not these family members are selfish or whatever, you and him have a choice to do what's best for you. Stop expecting them to be something that they are not. I think you are giving these people WAY too much power over your relatoinship and your life. It's great that you are in counseling, maybe you can work on how to stay focused on what's important in your own life and your own family (your DH and unborn child).
And I agree w/ dirtyred, your post was almost completely unreadable.
Yeah... this was really hard to read.
Yes, they sound selfish. But at the same time.... isn't it technically selfish of you to expect them to act they way YOU think they should?! Right now you're expecting behavior from people who obviously aren't going to give you that behavior.This is what YOU need to work with and accept. And I agree- you give them WAY too much power in your lives.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Spelling and punctuation and grammar are things you should study before passing on your ignorance to your child.
All families come with drama on some level. Stop whining and just keeping dealing with it in the best way for your family. Who cares if they get upset? Sounds like they're always worked up about something anyway, so why not this?
Wow talk about brutal in some of those responses!
Someone could be bleeding out their eyes & all these old bittys HERE would be more concerned w/ spelling, sentence structure, & grammar.
Putting people down on the web for some reason I think some of them actually get gratification from it thats scary.
Proves some of these homely housewives have a darkside or some serious issues themselves.
Constructive critque is what it is, but there are ways to say things without being so insensitive, cowwwardly, & just plain mean about it.
I think that with you guys telling your family to get professional help & maintaining a distance is a step in the right direction. Seems like you guys have been putting forth an effort, yet they are still stuck in those bad habits. I dont think that its selfish at all & prayer is comfort~prayers sent! Congrats & I also pray you guys have a healthy delivery!
In the future I wouldnt post anything here if you want sound advice, but oh you where asking for prayers my bad.
For others know someone or at least be GOD or ur higher power before passing judgement. Speak to people how u would like to be 'treated.
To the moderator :
How bout a more simpler format for 'dummies' that will help with all grammatical errors, not just offering spell check that u download or posting from word. To make everyone happy & to avoid assi-9 comments by creepy people who prob spend to much time on here, why is it creepy U guys are over analyzing disecting an informal post, this however is a RANT. Yes a post & dang it u made me do it to. So yeh Help thopse of us who arent to par on writting post or written responses. This website is so freaking boring it seems like half the comments Ive read in the past arent really helpful they are all about who made an errors by the chosen few.If people are so busy critizizing offer some tutoring or at least make your selves useful & stop whining about stufff that really doesnt matter.
MORE PEOPLE WOULD POST HERE IF PEOPLE DIDNT HAVE SUCH A MESSED UP INTERACTION. THE NEST SHOULD FOCUS ON IF THEIR USERS FEEL COMFORTABLE POSTING HERE.
U can put the new modifications in a format after the abc, with a
with a dunce cap & for people that need it can click on it knowing that they used it would be humilation enough think about it some of these people are confiding some humilating problems then what do we do the best human kind can offer we humiliate some more, Ill do the honors & unquote myself.
Til some of u become better people, most def til some people can live without drama in there lives. Ill pray for there kids hope they dont pass on their little character flaws n quirks, so freakiin funny how some of these people who are truly educated proclaim to be, try so hard showing how others are not just a little way to hard. Im sure these are the same people that follow charlie sheen & Lindsay lohan news, not the mid east.
End of Rant.
Sorry I have ADD, Im going to go to see Rango tomarrow, u all should treat urselves to a johnny depp movie stop giving people headaches.
ADD does not = BSC
Just so you know
thank you.
I'm pretty sure I'm not BSC. At least I can put together a sentence.