I can't believe this....

hklinger · March 2011

My H and I haven't had sex in a long time... Usually if we have a dry spell it picks up and it gets better...but recently I started thinking there must be a reason...I approached him about it and my thoughts were true... He doesn't want to have sex because I am not on pill and and he doesn't like to use condoms, so he is afraid I may get pregnant... We want to have children but we are waiting since we are still newlyweds... I know the easy answer is to use contraception, but not for me.. I always have bad reactions... I guess I don't want to force him either....Any suggestions?

LittleLady77 · March 2011

go to http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ watch the videos and start charting your fertility. You will know what days not to BIO.

Kore! · March 2011

What about getting a ParaGard IUD? There aren't any hormones, and it's extremely effective.

emisi · March 2011

What about a cervical cap? Or... just ask if he'd be willing to wear condoms until you're ready to get pregnant, because you miss being intimate and hormones are bad for you. I mean, which does he dislike more... condoms, or not having sex?

l1lb1t3 · March 2011

I was in the same boat with my husband. Our son was a huge surprise and I got pregnant while on the pill. So, after our son was born, I did lots of research about the IUD. I love it! It's good up to 5 years, but you can have it taken out whenever you and your husband decide to have children. I'm really glad I decided to get it.

bonnyandtim · March 2011

My doctor wouldn't give me an IUD b/c even though I was "old enough" to decide on this (I'm 26 & DH is 30), I have never had children, & I guess it's harder if you haven't.

doglove · March 2011

He wouldn't have sex with you until YOU got on birth control pills. Seriously? What a d-bag.

srgw · March 2011

He doesn't want to have sex because I am not on pill and and he doesn't like to use condoms

Excuse me?

Your H needs to get over his dislike of using condoms. He'd rather you be miserable from side effects of the pill than put on a condom? Seriously? What a a$$hole.

Obviously there are other options (IUD, FAM etc) but birth control is a team effort in marriage. He needs to man up until you can find an option that works for both of you. I can't believe he'd rather go without sex than put on a condom.

carcrashheart · March 2011

didn't we recently have this very same convo with another poster?

there are plenty of alternative options for you, OP. one of them might even be to suggest to your DH that he grow up and communicate with you.

TarponMonoxide · March 2011

browneyed bride:
My H and I haven't had sex in a long time... Usually if we have a dry spell it picks up and it gets better...but recently I started thinking there must be a reason...I approached him about it and my thoughts were true... He doesn't want to have sex because I am not on pill and and he doesn't like to use condoms, so he is afraid I may get pregnant... We want to have children but we are waiting since we are still newlyweds... I know the easy answer is to use contraception, but not for me.. I always have bad reactions... I guess I don't want to force him either....Any suggestions?

Try a diaphagm and spermicide.

There is also a female condom and Natural Family Planning.

Maybe you could look ito one of those alternatives. Good luck.

ColeM320 · March 2011

Im in the same boat. Went off the pill and he doesnt like condoms so I chart but I do make him wear condoms when it is necessary I mean why should I be the only one taking precautions!

DancingLikeTheCrackers17 · March 2011

I hate condoms (I've described them as the feeling of sandpaper inside me), but know that they are a neccessary evil since we don't want kids right away, and I have had horrible reactions to BC pills. When we were first married and I tried the pill, DH was so paranoid about us getting pregnant that he insisted on also using condoms. I finally talked him out of it, and now we have to. Stick out tongue

kt012885 · March 2011

The pull out method should work- if he does it right. Otherwise I'd just try and find some kind of contraceptive- you don't wanna not be intimate in that way. Also, look to see which days of the month you are fertile and avoid them. GL

carcrashheart · March 2011

i always love when someone suggests the pull & pray method. it works best if you're not trying to have kids but would be ok with ending up with one. or two. otherwise, it's not going to stop all those little spermies that come out prior to ejaculation from swimming around.

RaiKai · March 2011

bonnyandtim:
My doctor wouldn't give me an IUD b/c even though I was "old enough" to decide on this (I'm 26 & DH is 30), I have never had children, & I guess it's harder if you haven't.

Go find another doctor. If your doctor is sticking to "you have never had kids and it is harder" he or she is very out of date.

I have been using a copper IUD as birth control for about 6 years (since I was about 26 myself), and I have never had kids.

Snortlemonster · March 2011

BUTTSEX! =D No threat of babies that way!

babylove99 · March 2011

theres oral sex, mutual pleasuring, explore!!

kellyt89 · March 2011

This is BS. If you have a bad reaction to the pill he needs to suck it up and wear the condom. You need to have a conversation with him about how it is BOTH of your responsibilities to protect from pregnancy.

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