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talk to me about discipline
Tell me everything. What works, what doesn't, what your kid is REALLY like. I know I may not get a lot of responses since it's the weekend, but Brian and I are having a really tough time with Cassidy lately. Granted it's only been the past two weeks and mostly started over our vacation, which I attributed to lack of sleep and routine, but she's been such a handful, dare I say brat? I'm hoping it's just a phase, but man oh man!
She purposely repeats the bad behavior we ask her to stop, repeatedly. She's constantly whining, screaming, or crying. She laughs at me when I try to tell her no. So far I've been very against any kind of physical punishment, but can totally understand why parents spank. In fact, I'm afraid one day my frustrations will cause me to react without thinking. We've done timeouts, they often work, but if we did them for every. little. offense. the kid would never leave the bottom step. What works for you? Raising my voice does nothing. Reasoning, nothing. Distraction often works, but I feel like I'm not addressing the real issue.
Help?
Re: talk to me about discipline
first off i pick my battles. a lot of fresh behaviors are just part of the age so i try not to orverreact or underreact. my girls test me time and time again.
if its something like standing on the couch, walking away from a meal at the table- little things like that i give her three strikes- then they are not allowed on the couch or they must be done with the food so i take it away..
any kind of physical behavior- pull of hair, a toy thrown, biting, etc (mila knock on wood would never, but isla can get a little naughty from time to time). anyway, they would get a prompt time out, an little "talking to" with an apology to the victim.
toys played with inappropriately after a warning or two are taken away and they can play with something else.
any kind of temper tantrum that gets ooc they go into their rooms to calm down or i leave target or where ever i am and let them flip a lid in the car or just work it out.
of course i do the positive words and try to model the right behavior i give them choices when i can to avoid conflict.... but if its something like the above thats how i usually handel it.
there are so many ways to discipline and over time i am sure i will change. i know a lot of parents like 1-2-3 magic. good luck amy!
The counting really works for us. It is challenge phase for the kids to see what they can get away with. Just stick to your guns and sometime you need to pick your battles.
Lately, C has been having terrible tantrums over nothing and has also been back talking. We snip that in the bud right away and the tantrums I tell her to go in her room until she can talk. She usually returns calm and can ask about what it was the caused it. Our issue lately is tv...we have been watching so much lately with this weather. She actually threw a fit (40 min) over a show that she was going to miss. That made me make a chart where she can pick 3 shows a day and that is it. She told me she doesn't like that plan..but then I told her it is either that or none..she went with my plan
A good idea is to offer choices that way they feel in control of the situation. It helps most of the disagreements
I don't think I could have written a response better than Erica & Jerrah. I try to do those things as well. We do put Shannon in time out on our bottom step, and she actually will put herself in timeout if she doesn't want to listen to what I'm telling her.
I like the idea of a chart to pick shows that are allowed to be watched, since TV has been an issue with us. I'm sure that would work for other things as well... Thanks for the inspiration!! Shannon's chart has worked really well for potty training, and we even have a mini-chart that is for when we're out of the house. This just might be the way to go!