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GRANDMOTHER!!!!
My fiance and i have been together for going on 5 years in june.. His grandmother has put me through HELL literally. When we first got together i lied about my age... I was 16 i was turning 17 in two months, so i just said i was 17... She found out and hated me for the past 4 years... she would watch every move i made, watched me eat, judged my clothing. ( she once told me that whores where jeans with holes- guess what i was wearing)... She would say i was immature because i had small breasts.. And so on and so forth..
If we dont visit her she says we hate her and puts a big guilt trip on my fiance... She also put my fiance's mother through all of this until she changed and started dressing like her and going every where with her... I dont wanna have to do this..
Like i said she is warming up to me but she still write out my full name on cards she never just puts MEagan on there.. she still watched every move i make and stares at me when i eat.... IDK what to do! its almost weird like she she wants him to be with someone like her.
BUT his younger brother has a girlfriend with a child with another man (mind you i have no children/ never been married) but she loves her, his brother and her have been off and on for around 2 months... they would be together then she would leave him for her ex... but she loves her...
please give me advice...
Re: GRANDMOTHER!!!!
Why are you spending so much time with her?
Why don't you say anything when she says mean things to you? Or, more importantly, why isn't your fiance telling her to knock it off?
Why is your fiance even asking you to spend time with someone who treats you like shiit?
The problem here isn't Grandma. The problem is that the two of you are choosing to be around her. Your FI needs to man up and tell her to cut the crap, otherwise he should refuse her invitations. And if he doesn't, and he's asking you to spend time with someone who's nasty to you, then you should really rethink marrying him - because he'd rather make you "deal with it," than put a stop to it when people are cruel to you. If it comes down to You vs. His Family, you are going to lose every time. Do you want to always come in second, even as his wife?
How often do your really need to see this woman? If she's rude to you let your fiance visit without you, or if you really feel the need to visit don't go often and make it short. Really though, who cares if she doesn't like you, it's not like it's his mom, it's an old lady who's ignorant and stuck in her ways. If she's really bad though I think I'd be just saying goodbye to the old bat:)
At the same time, I think I do dress and act a little differently around H's family or my grandparents for that matter. I might dress more conservatively or speak a little more formally/politely. Maybe you don't do this at all and it rubbed her the wrong way?
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
Stop going to visit the Grandmother. She is abusing you. If your FI has a problem with it, then you should not be marrying him. He should be supportive of you, not his Grandmother.
Your FI should be standing up for you and telling his Battleaxe Grandmother to be nice to you. If she won't be nice to you, then he should be supporting you and both you and he should stop going to see her.