North Florida Nesties
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Would You...

Would you donate your kidney to a good friend if they needed it?

My mom and I have a really good friend who has been very very sick for a long time.  Her family has all been tested and no one is a match.  She's in dialysis twice a week and lately she's been more sick than usual.  My mom has been talking about getting tested to see if she's a match and asked me if I wanted to get tested too.  After my initial freak out I really thought about how wonderful this could be for her if one of us was a match.  Obviously chances are slim that we are, but if one of is, I might consider doing it.

So would get tested and if you were a match would you do it?  Im talking close friend, not someone who's an acquaintance.  

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Re: Would You...

  • Friend?  No.  Family member?  I'd consider it.
  • imageLucille Bluth:
    Friend?  No.  Family member?  I'd consider it.

    I'll keep that in mind if you ever need a kidney Wink

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  • imageClaireDunphy:

    imageLucille Bluth:
    Friend?  No.  Family member?  I'd consider it.

    I'll keep that in mind if you ever need a kidney Wink

    LOL! 

    I'm a selfish b!tch.

  • Absolutely. Is it weird that I barely had to think about this? I should probably be more attached/protective of my organs.

    I also have to say that while my friendship with LB thus far has only been that of the internet nature, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking that she may step up if she was CD's only option rather than standing idly by with a glass of wine in her hand.

    For those who know her better...am I off base on this? Stick out tongue 

     

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  • I would like to say yes, and I'm sure that I would.  Although it's much easier to SAY that not being in the situation than it is to DO it when you are.  I commend you, I think that's really honorable and generous.  I know I would be extremely grateful if it were me or a loved one on the receiving end.  She's very blessed to have a friend like you.
  • imageclseale13:

    I also have to say that while my friendship with LB thus far has only been that of the internet nature, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking that she may step up if she was CD's only option rather than standing idly by with a glass of wine in her hand.

    For those who know her better...am I off base on this? Stick out tongue 

    Yes.  I love CD as a dear friend... but I would be really hesitant to give a kidney to her or anyone else at all.  (Sorry CD.)

    I had to think for a few minutes if I would give a kidney to my blood sister if I came to that.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  lol

  • imageLucille Bluth:
    imageclseale13:

    I also have to say that while my friendship with LB thus far has only been that of the internet nature, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking that she may step up if she was CD's only option rather than standing idly by with a glass of wine in her hand.

    For those who know her better...am I off base on this? Stick out tongue 

    Yes.  I love CD as a dear friend... but I would be really hesitant to give a kidney to her or anyone else at all.  (Sorry CD.)

    I had to think for a few minutes if I would give a kidney to my blood sister if I came to that.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  lol

    You better at least share your wine. If I'm dying, I want wine.

    Laner, I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she can get a kidney soon & its very honorable of you to even get yourself tested as a potential match!

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  • imageLucille Bluth:
    imageclseale13:

    I also have to say that while my friendship with LB thus far has only been that of the internet nature, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking that she may step up if she was CD's only option rather than standing idly by with a glass of wine in her hand.

    For those who know her better...am I off base on this? Stick out tongue 

    Yes.  I love CD as a dear friend... but I would be really hesitant to give a kidney to her or anyone else at all.  (Sorry CD.)

    I had to think for a few minutes if I would give a kidney to my blood sister if I came to that.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  lol

    There's nothing wrong with you.  Its really scary.  Even just going to get tested is scary.  I feel like getting tested is huge because if its a match, then will people automatically assume that Im going to donate, or can I back out?  Will people judge me if I back out?  Do I even want to know if there's a chance I wont do it?  

    Ugh, its scary! 

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  • I understand that. And like dollfin said, saying you would and actually doing it are two different things. If it was a close relative or best friend I would. I think I would even do it if it was a situation like a best friends husband...but that's about it. I guess the thing would be to not even get tested if you weren't 100% sure. If I knew I was a match there's no way I could just watch them die.
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  • imageClaireDunphy:
    You better at least share your wine. If I'm dying, I want wine.

    See, that?  I would totally do.  I wouldn't even measure the amount of wine in glasses next to each other.  I'd even give you the bigger glass.  :)

    Ditto CD on your friend, laner.  That's a really hard situation.  

  • imageLanerbell:
    imageLucille Bluth:
    imageclseale13:

    I also have to say that while my friendship with LB thus far has only been that of the internet nature, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking that she may step up if she was CD's only option rather than standing idly by with a glass of wine in her hand.

    For those who know her better...am I off base on this? Stick out tongue 

    Yes.  I love CD as a dear friend... but I would be really hesitant to give a kidney to her or anyone else at all.  (Sorry CD.)

    I had to think for a few minutes if I would give a kidney to my blood sister if I came to that.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  lol

    There's nothing wrong with you.  Its really scary.  Even just going to get tested is scary.  I feel like getting tested is huge because if its a match, then will people automatically assume that Im going to donate, or can I back out?  Will people judge me if I back out?  Do I even want to know if there's a chance I wont do it?  

    Ugh, its scary! 

    That's what I was just posting about. It's a huge deal and it's a very selfless wonderful thing that you're doing. For me personally, I couldn't get tested unless I was 100% sure.

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  • Absolutely, 100%. I might even consider it for a not close friend.
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  • imageLucille Bluth:
    imageclseale13:

    I also have to say that while my friendship with LB thus far has only been that of the internet nature, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking that she may step up if she was CD's only option rather than standing idly by with a glass of wine in her hand.

    For those who know her better...am I off base on this? Stick out tongue 

    Yes.  I love CD as a dear friend... but I would be really hesitant to give a kidney to her or anyone else at all.  (Sorry CD.)

    I had to think for a few minutes if I would give a kidney to my blood sister if I came to that.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  lol

    I was just going to say, cleasle, you're totally off base on this. haha

    I would for a family member, but only some friends...maybe. ETA: I guess I am also a cold, heartless bitchs.

  • imageMadisen:
    imageLucille Bluth:
    imageclseale13:

    I also have to say that while my friendship with LB thus far has only been that of the internet nature, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking that she may step up if she was CD's only option rather than standing idly by with a glass of wine in her hand.

    For those who know her better...am I off base on this? Stick out tongue 

    Yes.  I love CD as a dear friend... but I would be really hesitant to give a kidney to her or anyone else at all.  (Sorry CD.)

    I had to think for a few minutes if I would give a kidney to my blood sister if I came to that.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  lol

    I was just going to say, cleasle, you're totally off base on this. haha

    I would for a family member, but only some friends...maybe. ETA: I guess I am also a cold, heartless bitchs.

    haha. Good to know!

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  • The first thing that popped into my head was would I do this for my BFF ... yes.  I would want to know all the risks that it entailed for me though.  I hope you're able to sort through it and come to a decision you're at peace with.
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    BFP-2/25/11; 8 Wk U/S-3/25/11-No HB, measured 6.5 wks; D&C
  • Family member, absolutely. Close friend, almost definitely. Obviously there are circumstances where I might not but my initial thought is that if I was a match I'd do it.
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  • I'd like to say I would.  It would have to be close family or a close friend.
  • Yep absolutely. But ditto csleale, I wouldn't get tested unless I was 100% sure I would donate to that person. I can't imagine the guilt I would have if they died and I knew I was a match.
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  • imageLucille Bluth:

    imageClaireDunphy:
    You better at least share your wine. If I'm dying, I want wine.

    See, that?  I would totally do.  I wouldn't even measure the amount of wine in glasses next to each other.  I'd even give you the bigger glass.  :)

    LOL! I literally just spit coffee on myself. How generous of you, LB! Wink

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  • imageLanerbell:
    There's nothing wrong with you.  Its really scary.  Even just going to get tested is scary.  I feel like getting tested is huge because if its a match, then will people automatically assume that Im going to donate, or can I back out?  Will people judge me if I back out?  Do I even want to know if there's a chance I wont do it?  

    Ugh, its scary! 

    It IS really scary.

    & you don't need to think about other people in this situation. You need to think about yourself & your friend. Think about how happy it would make her to have a match & it to be someone she knows at that. Also think about how disappointed she'd be if she found out there was a match & that person didn't donate. Can you talk to the testing people & find out if you can make a decision BEFORE they annouce there's a match? Like if you say no, then there never was a match kinda thing?

    Sorry to be a total Debbie Downer in this response Sad

    Also, I think on MM there have been some Nesties who've been through the process either themselves or with their spouse. You may want to start a thread over there to get some more information.

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  • In theory, I would. However, I am slightly terrified of hospitals so I would have to be really 2000% committed to donating.
  • Absolutely! I figure if it's something that I can live without, then I can definitely give it to a friend in need. As for strangers, I'd have to think about it, but probably so.
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  • My mom and I talked about it more last night and she's calling our friend today to get the details about getting tested. After this thread and really talking about it with her last night, I'm 100% positive I want to get tested and if I'm a match I will do it. We'll see if one of us is a match soon!
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  • I don't know about a kidney, but I did get tested to see if I was a match for bone marrow for my cousin.  If anyone of my siblings needed a kidney, I would donate in a heartbeat, but if it was a friend, I would pause.  I feel like I need to keep my organs for family members since they are most likely to match you.

    Dumb, yes but that's how my brain works.
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