September 2010 Weddings
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
LauraT25
Good luck on your exams!
I'm crossing fingers, legs, toes for you.
Not that I need to....you'll do an awesome job
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!
Re: LauraT25
Thanks guys. It was actually a huge train wreck, and I didn't pass. I have to re-take them.
My boss told me that they decided to ask me harder questions from outset because I'm 'such a good student', and it backfired miserably I guess. Most of the questions that I couldn't answer were about work previously done in the lab, which everyone in my lab agrees is a crock of sh!t so I never really studied it that closely, but of course I can't say that to my committee. My boss even threw me under the bus, continuing to hound me on points that I'd already admitted I didn't know, and when other people would ask me questions and I would say I wasn't aware of anything like that, he'd chime in with an, "Actually, we studied that before you were in the lab and never published it, here are the results", making me look even worse.
I have to brush up on the previous work - not a big deal, I will learn it even though I know it's bull. My boss told me that he's to blame for not making all of the previous work more clear to me, and says that it's his fault that we didn't communicate better, but I know that I should have looked into that stuff even though I know it's shoddy science and crappy data. They basically told me that they won't ask anything new, and my boss said that I got all the hard questions, and the conceptual/critical thinking questions right. They didn't ask me a single 'basic science' question, the crap that I spent all this time studying for - my boss said they agreed to skip all of that. Thanks, guys. I will be fine when I present it again, but it still sucks.
Sorry for the vent. A few of us went out for drinks later.
Oh mah goodness, that is a crock of sh!t, and crazy to boot! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that garbage. Just wow.
I'm glad to hear your boss accepted some responsibility, but I'd have a hard time not being cold to him if it were me.
And also glad that you went for drinks.
During my talk, it was really hard not to go, "STFU! You're making it worse!" and then after, when he met with me (when all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole in cry) and he said it was partially his fault I really wanted to go, "Yes, yes it was, on so many levels." But I didn't.
Just got my first congrats from someone who didn't know I failed (Why would they think I didn't pass? Everyone tells you you'll pass...). THAT was awkward.
I hate today. I feel traumatized from the beating I took yesterday and I'm ashamed. I don't like explaining it to people because it feels like I'm just making excuses. I wish I could just take the whole week off and that in my absence people would magically find out I didn't pass so that they would stop asking me about it.
sorry for the pity party. Jeff is at a conference and I'm alone.
Laura, that's so hard! I really feel for you.
I have a story for you...I took the Cal Bar exam in 2006, and it's the same kind of thing where everyone tells you you'll pass, although 25% of my class did not. A lady I worked with didn't work as an attorney because she hasn't passed, and took it 3 times. She spent the 3+ months while I was waiting for results telling me it would be okay if I didn't pass, and how hard it is, etc. She didn't talk to me after finding out that I passed. Like, never again chatted with me. For reals.
I think part of the assumption that everyone will pass is that it's so terrifying for others thinking about their own prospects to assume that it's not a given.
It sounds like you really got the short stick with the questions they threw at you. I know it feels like making excuses, but it's really not, when you've been held to different and unexpected standards.
MushE - you are being super awesome. I don't know if I can describe how much it means. It's lame, but I can't really complain at work without sounding like a whiny downer (and being afraid I'm making excuses), plus the fact is, my boss said they asked me harder questions because they expect more, and I can't exactly say that without it sounding like a diss to them. "If I had gotten the same questions they asked you, I would have passed!" isn't really an awesome thing to say, even though my labmate basically said that was true when I told her the questions they asked (before my boss told me that they purposely asked harder questions). They agreed that they never would have been able to answer them...I guess it's supposed to make me feel better but instead it just makes me so frustrated, like WTF is wrong with my boss? Why didn't he dial it back when it was apparent that I couldn't handle the questions? Why didn't he change tactics, and WHY did he actually make it worse? I thought he was supposed to be looking out for my best interests.
I can barely look him in the eye. He keeps telling me it's NBD because I can easily learn these things and re-present and it will all be behind me, and that's all true but the fact is that I feel abused, and like he is just a horrible mentor and adviser. The whole thing was really painful and demoralizing to go through and it didn't teach me anything except to be distrustful of these people and the entire system.
Why in fcuk's name would you be familiar with past unpublished results?! That makes no sense to me whatsoever. How absurdly narcissistic. So we know our shitz not good enough for peer review, but by God we're going to make our poor students suffer through it.
I hate committees. I'm so glad I quit grad school. But so proud of you for sticking with it.
They are a bunch of a-holes, but there's some small comfort in knowing that there really did think highly of you. It doesn't really help them any to have you not pass.
And I hear you about having to explain to people.
How soon will they let you retest?
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!
I am required to retest within 3 months, but I can do it ASAP since it's a small thing to fix. By the end of the week I'm going to send out a scheduling e-mail because I know that it will take some time to find a date, but I feel that I would be ready by the end of next week. After my midterm I want to sit down with some people in my lab and pick their brains, making sure I have my facts 100% straight on what they do, and then I will sit down with my boss and do the same thing, plus revamp the talk. Apparently they told him what I can leave out next time, because I did fine and don't need to re-hash some stuff.
We don't have lab meetings (another reason my boss sucks) so it's sort of hard to stay on top of all of this stuff, but I'm going to make it my business to know every damn experiment that's ever been done that remotely pertains to my project.
Well it sounds like you have an excellent plan of attack set up.
Keep us up to date on what happens.
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!