Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Scared about my career track
First, I apologize for the length of this post. As you'll be able to see, I'm just really nervous.
So, I've been in law school for almost three years now and will graduate in two months. Unfortunately, after all the training, experience, and effort, I have finally concluded that I really dislike law. I went to law school to become an adoption lawyer or to work with kids in the foster care system. Unfortunately, due to the economy, those jobs aren't available in any of the geographic areas where I want to practice. Also, again, I don't like law and I think there are better ways of helping people.
I have basically one passion in life: helping families grow. That's why I love adoption so much, and my husband and I are committed to adopting in the future. But I also love weddings and wedding planning. I've been tentatively trying to see if I'm any good at it, and so far I've successfully planned my wedding, my sister's wedding, three or four showers, and have begun publishing my inspiration boards in a blog. I constantly dream of opening up a wedding dress/planning salon, and I think I've found a good location for it. But I have no professional experience. And it would require my husband and I to move across the country (we came from Ohio and are looking at moving back to West Virginia).
Here's my basic question, I guess: am I just being a wimp? Do I need to suck it up and practice law, knowing that I'll dislike it, but feeling less guilty for not giving up on my ex-dream? Or do I take a huge risk and open up a wedding dress shop despite the huge debt I've incurred from law school and the guilt associated with giving up on my dream of helping children in the legal system?
I know if I were you, I'd tell me to "follow my heart", but I'm so emotionally and mentally drained from law school, I'm really not certain I'd hear correctly.
Thanks in advance, and I apologize again for the tremendous length of this post.
Re: Scared about my career track
Since you're still in law school, I don't think you can really say that you dislike practicing law. Practicing law is nothing like law school and encompasses a wide variety of activities. My husband and I both practice law and our days couldn't be more different. The things we do aren't comparable. My friends in the public sector do entirely different work than I do, work I would hate and work they love. I also have friends who work for corporations and what they do as lawyers is nothing anyone told us about in law school.
As for your specific situation, part of it sounds similar to a friend of mine. Her heart lies in special education law, working with the children. But out of law school, there were absolutely no positions available. So she worked as a prosecutor for a while, which was not her thing. The stress made her physically ill. As soon as she could, she found a job working with a community in a role that is part prosecution, and part social worker-working with community members to create a safer, better community. As soon as she was able to find a job working with kids, she left that position She now works as a child advocate in the court system.
the point being, if you want to work in adoption law, you don't have to start there. You can work in another area of law first. You could always move or change your focus down the line, but you never know that you won't end up really liking what you fall into in between. I never would have expected to work in defense, and now I can't imagine myself ever working on the other side.
Thank you all for your advice, I really appreciate it!
Just to answer a couple quick points:
(1) I have no idea if this is post-graduation cold feet, but I've felt like this since Day 2 of law school.
(2) I have had opportunity to practice law through externships and the legal clinic our school provides, and although its rewarding, the stress is pretty much at the level of what I can handle just with a small amount of cases.
(3) In a perfect world I'd be able to run a "family creating" business that helps with prenups, wills, adoptions, etc. along with wedding planning, event planning, etc. Unfortunately, all the states I've looked at (and I'm pretty sure almost all states) won't let individual lawyers market a business plan that's half-legal and half-not.
But thanks so much, your guys' advice is REALLY appreciated!
The grants coordinator at the non-profit I work at has a law degree... definitely not something she is using directly! But, the law degree has come in handy in terms of understanding RFP's and writing grants for funding for the agency, which serves children and parents. She has also worked in communications for the agency as well.
I don't want to be Debbie Downer, but some of the PP's have touched on this... do some law work, even if not your cup of tea, to get some experience under your belt and network (especially if moving away from where you went to law school). The right position will eventually open up.
I would be hesitant to start up a business w/o income flowing in to support myself/pay back student loans. Maybe work at a dress shop or special event planner PT on weekends to get a feel for the business before going out on your own.
I think this is a great idea. There is a vast difference between planning your own wedding, planning an event for a friend/family member, and having someone you don't know with their own expectations hire you to plan their event. You might end up hating event planning, too. I agree with PPs; you need to test the waters in the field you're trained in, and maybe you can start small with a few events on the side to see if you're really cut out for that, too. But opening your own business with no actual experience is a bad idea, especially when you're already in debt, and especially in a new area.
My best friend is a wedding photographer, and she started by working as an assistant to other local photographers. She did it for free at first, just to learn when she was right out of college. Yes, she made no money, and she had to do awful things and worked for horrible people. But she got great experience, ended up working for a fantastic photographer, and now she has her own successful business. But it took her 5 years to build all that up - and that was with a photography degree. Building a business is hard; you should be 100% certain that law isn't for you before you move on.
I practice family law, juvenile law, and adoption, and think it would be a GIANT mistake to give up before you've even started a career. Yes, I think you are being a wimp. You are copping out before you really even try.
I hated every second of law school, but I love being a lawyer. I also didn't like all of my externships during law school. In fact, I hated one so much that I considered dropping out of law school. I'm glad I didn't.
You have absolutely no idea if you like practicing law because you've never really done it.
The fantastic thing about practicing law is that you really do have control over your own career. I don't believe that there are NO jobs in child welfare available. I'm sorry, but that is just crap. You are willing to move across the country to open a wedding dress shop, but can't be more open about areas where you can practice law? I think you need to do some research and put a lot more effort into this. Find out if there are counties in any of the areas you are willing to consider that have court appointed lawyers to represent parents and children. Open your own firm and get on that court appointed list. Network and form friendships so you have some mentors to help you along the way.
Also, don't give up after just a year or two. The first couple of years are tough because practicing law is unlike what you have done in law school. You feel overwhelmed in your externships with just a few cases because it's new to you. With experience you will gain confidence and become much more efficient.
If you truly can't find a judicial circuit where you are able to get court appointed juvenile work, take a different type of legal job. This is just your first job out of law school, and it's not like you will be stuck in that one job forever. I stayed at my first job out of law school for one year and then moved on to something else. Find a legal job that will pay your bills, and hopefully get you some good courtroom experience - even if it's not in juvenile court. Any litigation experience that gets you comfortable in the courtroom is valuable. Then continue to network and job search for a job in juvenile law. You will eventually find something.