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I need to vent-WR
FYI - I'll probably DD this, just in case..
Two of my closest friends are getting married this year, and while I'm estatic for them and to be a BM in both weddings, I'm also starting to get annoyed buy what it's going to cost (both require travel, etc), but I knew when I agreed to be in the weddings there'd be a cost. Mostly, I feel like one of my friends, lets say Molly, is seriously becoming a huge bridezilla.
I've posted before, she invited ~500 people for a church that seats 330 and a reception hall that seats 400.
She was upset that another couple, whom she occassionally hangs out with so there will be an overlap of some guests at both weddings, booked the same reception hall as she did and the same DJ a week after her wedding. Kind of confusing, but the reception hall has 2 rooms, the couple thought they booked the larger room (what Molly booked) and had been planning on that but recently in talking to the venue they realized that they booked the smaller room, which will still work for them but obviously is disappointing. Molly's response: "Good, well at least their wedding won't be the same as ours now" <Good gosh! You sound like a first class b!tch..they're two seperate weekends and events, besides Molly will be on her HM for the couple's wedding anyways!
The church changed their pew layout and when Molly saw it she bawled and convinced the Pastor/congregation to change it back for her ceremony. She custom ordered fabric and is having the altar hangings (sorry, don't know real word for them) made to match her wedding colors.
She's using the hair stylists and MUA I used for my wedding, which is great b/c it's my regular hair stylist and I love helping her get the business, plus she does a great job...but she has already said specifically that one of the hair stylists needs to do her hair, her mom's (which is 2" long, literally) and her sister's and no one elses bc they need to look the best.
The BM dresses we ordered essentially bc she liked the color. When they come in, we're getting them shortened and adding a sweetheart neck. And Molly had said she wants to come with to each fitting so she can tell the alterationist how long the dress should be. And she wants us all to have matching shoes.
Grrr....I mean, yes, I'll admit that I think part of me is jealous that she's planning a wedding bc I do miss planning so much, but some of this stuff I just feel like is ridiculous! Do you agree? Or think I'm just jealous?
Re: I need to vent-WR
I think any woman in the planning mode/new bride mode has these kinds of feelings, whether it's you as the friend/new bride or her as the friend/planning mode. I think it's normal to compare yourself to them and think.. how could she say/do this when I never did that or wouldn't, etc.
I would try your best to keep level headed about the whole thing. It doesn't matter if she changes the church, the dress, hates her other friend, etc. It just matters that you handle your BM responsibilities the best you can and be her support. Id' try to remove your feelings towards her bahvior and remind yourself that it's her event so she's going to behave how ever she sees fit.
I hate bridezilla's, I had a momzilla which was even worse! I agree with Kearstin, she is going to behave how ever she wants and you should try to remain calm and know that you may not agree with everything she says but as a friend you still need to support her.
My best friend is getting married on Oct. 22 ( I got married Oct 23), she hasn't asked me to be in the wedding yet, I am assuming that she will but her FI is being a big PITA about number of people they are having in the WP. If she doesn't ask me, I feel like I am going to have a hard time even going to her wedding, which is super selfish, but she was totally involved in all of my plans and I have been helping her with ideas and giving her names etc. and she is my best friend, hands down.
I know that people like that suck, Hannah, but just try to have an open mind and just support her in anyway that you can through her planning process. GL!!
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TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad spermThanks ladies. I mean, it's hard not to compare right? But then when I think about it seriously, our day went off without a hitch. Really, if I had spent $1K more and done a photobooth or if I had sent $1 each STD magnets instead of the $15 total STD postcards I sent, would if have made my wedding better? He!! no and I'm richer for it too
I'm trying my hardest to just listen and support and kind of "only speak when spoken too" on wedding ideas/aspects b/c I don't want to be an annoying know-it-all.
Ashlee, one of my friends weddings is 10.22.11. also! But I would certainly feel the same as you about going to wedding if you're not in the WP, it'd be hard. Best of luck!
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I guess part of my thoughts/surprise is that normally she's so-level headed and also although super cute, really low-key, doesn't need expensive stuff (lots of clothes are from Target, Rue 21 and even Walmart), so partially I think I'm surprised that all of a sudden she's asking us to dish out cash for random stuff (well shoes and extra alterations) for the wedding.
ETA: I wanted to add that I don't have anything wrong with shopping at any of these places, nor trying to be offensive. I guess my main point is that I'm surprised how extreme the wedding is becoming compared to her typical style and frugality (if that's a word). I too shop at Target for clothes and have even found cute stuff at Walmart.
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Where's Jena?! You know BBC!
Some people take their every day level headness into wedding planning and other get the whole, "this is my day and my only wedding" thoughts in their head and go nutso. I agree w/PP, there is no changing them. The money you have to spend totally sucks. I think the fact that I was in so many weddings before getting married helped me to try to cut as many costs for BMs as possible.
Just let her be and vent to us, we understand!
First off, let me say that I too am totally jealous of people planning weddings because I miss it. I look at our wedding pictures and even though I am madly in love with my husband and we have a great marriage, it makes me a little sad to know the whole wedding planning process is over for me. I think I got used to/loved being the center of attention for so long. Everything from people oohhh and ahhing over my engagement ring, to constantly asking me how planning we going, to all the fittings, and parties leading up to the wedding...then all of a sudden, it's done. So I think it's totally normal to feel a little bit of jealously/bitterness.
With that being side, I think she is being a bit of a biatch, but I am sure we all were at one point in time during our planning as well, even though we would have never admitted it at that time. I think just be a good friend, bite your tongue, and push through. Your reward will be the open bar at the end lol.
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b!tches be crazy.
THIS!!!!!!!!! LOL
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