May 2008 Weddings
x.starshine.x
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.*. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by finding an imperfect person perfectly .*.
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
random...
Im starting to think I may never want children. I am currently thanking Jesus everyday that during the time H and I were trying I did not get pregnant. We werent ready and I think I just felt pressure from the universe to proceed with "the next step" and also I think I was trying to fill a void, which Ive found to be easily filled with other things. ANYHOW Ive found many reasons as of late not to want children and one of those is because I want to announce to the world that wether or not you have children is not a status maker. I hate how golden relationships I had with people, have now changed because they have kids and seem to think Im now beneath them. UGH /endrant
.*. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by finding an imperfect person perfectly .*.
Re: random...
If you're not having kids because you decided you don't want them, more power to you.
However, if you've decided you're not having kids to make a statement I think that's kind of silly. Okay, I think it's really dumb, but I was trying to not be mean.
I think many people have mixed emotions about having children and/or change their minds depending on what's going on in their life.
For myself (well, H and I), at the point we're at, I try to be flexible. In many ways I think of what a wonderful opportunity and the reasons I'd/we'd like to have kids. But there are other ways in which, our life's pretty darn comfortable/happy as is and I'm not majorly motivated to change. I sound flaky, but I'm/we're not. It's just there a pro and cons to either path for us. Of course, if we ever do have a child(ren), we'd be all in and that's that. But for us, it's definitely a decision not an automatic.
As far as friends, yeah, I do notice some of my friends w/ kids (young children in particular) do have a shifted focus. But it's understandable... it's just the place there at now. Raising a baby/toddler is takes so much focus/energy/etc, that that is their primary focus. Same way people really, really driven or motivated by their careers can gas on forever about work. Or people who are really into a particular cause can be pretty cause-centric (I'm thinking of a friend of mine who's a very active vegan... she really can't have a conversation without turning it into all veggies all the time). Just kind of how some people are wired, I think. Not saying every parent, career-minded person, or vegan is obsessive just examples.
This
Care to explain your reasoning? I understand its a huge part of your life, but seriously we cant talk anymore bc of it?? Its weird because its my SIL and she doesnt seem to want anything to do with me, FSIL, or anything other than baby. Maybe I just feel left out, but I just know now is not the time for that.
.*. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by finding an imperfect person perfectly .*.
Right I believe this whole heartedly because not all my friends with children are like this. Just 2. Im just aggrivated with them.
.*. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by finding an imperfect person perfectly .*.
Girl, you guys have at least 10 years before you need to decide if you want to start a family. I didn't have or want kids at your age either. Get out and enjoy your youth.
I think karebear's point wasn't that your SIL is right, but that if YOU decide that you aren't going to have kids strictly to make the statement "Ive found many reasons as of late not to want children and one of those is because I want to announce to the world that wether or not you have children is not a status maker."
Not having kids is a personal decision between you and your H.
I'm having the same problem only the opposite since I'm the one with a kid. No one ever calls, and the 1 friend we have that we hung out with regularly never calls or texts. Heck, I can't even get her to respond to my texts. If we want to try and hang out, or just ask a question I make H do, since I can't ever get a reply. I feel like I'm the leper because I can't do something at the drop of a hat.
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Sorry for the slow reply - was at the vet & running errands.
Danni is correct in that I meant that if you aren't having kids just to make a statement I think that's dumb. I think it's a WAY bigger decision than that and one that should be made just because of what you and your H want - not about other people.
I'm thinking that you likely didn't really mean that and that you're just frustrated with your current situation, but I really do think that making such a big life choice to "make a statement" is not a wise thing to do.
A bit unrelated, but I feel like there's a difference between people treating you differently (like not spending as much time with you) and people acting like you're stupid b/c you don't have kids. I may have misunderstood what you wrote, but I thought you were saying that people were saying that you weren't as good as them b/c they have kids and you don't. Now what I'm thinking that you meant is that they just aren't hanging out with you as much and calling you as much, which sucks, but I sort of think that's to be expected.
Kids or no kids, I feel like when you're growing up you often grow apart from people and there could be many different reasons. I guess I just don't know that many adults that have more than a handful of close friends. Makes me sad too, but I think it's just par for the course.
At any rate, I wasn't trying to be mean to you. Just voicing my opinion.