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DS- a bit long. Sorry.
I swear, I really don't know what to do about my son. I have vented here before about things with him, and really am having a hard time parenting him. My DS is 10 and has (at least) ADD and some "emotional unbalances". He literally has something negative going on at school 99% of the time.
I got a call from his teacher yesterday regarding his interaction with another student (girl) S. S is in his 4th/5th combo and Gabe adores her (or so I thought). She apparently had a breakdown yesterday b/c my son has been physically bothering her for weeks. He gets a boisterous and physical a lot, and really has trouble reading the social ques that people don't like what he is doing, and they need to really get angry before he "gets it" and stops. As a result, he has horrible interactions with others and this was one girl who stuck up for him. He now must stay away from her, and has been threatened with suspension if she complains again. She and her mother came to the school yesterday and raised hell. The mother at least calmed down a bit when the teacher explained that she didn't think DS was being malicious, and explained his issues in a bit more detail.
I am sitting in a hotel room in Dallas crying my eyes out. I feel like nothing I do for him works, and I feel like such an incredible failure as a parent. I just don't know what to do. He just doesn't get how to act. We (his dad's side and mine) have punished, rewarded, ignored, built him up, and read just about every book on the market. We have seen therapists, counselors, changed meds. I am at a complete loss at what to do from here. He isn't a mean spirited or bad child. He is extremely intelligent, but he uses his brain to get himself out of trouble and create lies about everything.
I am calling the psychiatrist office again tomorrow for him to start seeing someone. I think I want a full panel testing/eval. I am almost praying that they do find something wrong, because if something is wrong, then we can start fixing. Anything is better than what we are doing now.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading.
Re: DS- a bit long. Sorry.
I don't have any advice but I do want to say that you are far from a failure as a parent. You would be a failure if you didn't care/weren't doing anything to try to help your son. It sounds like you are doing everything you can for him which means that you "win" at being a parent in my book.
I hope you can get some answers soon. Feel free to talk about it whenever you need here.
Well said.
I know I've said this before, but my sister has gone through many of the same issues with my nephew. I don't think there's any silver bullet of a solution, but my nephew (he's 13 now) really does seem to be getting better and calmer. Maybe growing out of it is something that happens? You are definitely NOT a failure of a parent AT ALL!
Totally agree with pp's. The fact that you care this much, have done so much already and are continuing to look for ways to help him makes you a superstar parent in my book.
I am no expert but it does sound like there could be something going on that's gone undetected/undiagnosed. Maybe it is a good idea to push for that full evaluation, and look into some of those county resources mrs.boomboom seems to know about.
We are here for you when you need to vent. I hope you get things figured out soon.
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Haley Beth ~ March 3rd, 2011
I just wanted to add to the mix that my family has spent time with Megan's DS, and we adore him.
DSS has a tough time making friends, because he's got some social-cue-reading issues himself. When he and Megan's DS met, it took about 5 minutes for them to become friends. They adore each other. It's really wonderful.
DH also spent a lot of time interacting with Gabe, and had nothing but great things to say about this kid's intelligence, humor and manners.
This is NOT to downplay the issues Megan is facing, because how could we see that in an hour or two here or there? This is just to say that we love him, we love their family, and we hope that things ease up soon.
This, exactly. Don't beat yourself up. You are a good mom. You are doing all you can and that is all you can do. Unfortunately, some things are simply out of our control. I hope things get better for you and your son.
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women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice
I'm still a a bit of a newbie here and don't know a lot about your situation but I just wanted to say that the fact that you care enough to be making appointments and trying new things shows that you are an excellent mom! I also wanted to add that I had a student in a class I student taught in who sounds a lot like your son. He is now in 4th grade and I work at the school now so I still see him quite a lot. He has the exact problem of not really understanding social norms and knowing when others are bothered by his behavior. He has been diagnosed with a mild form of autism and the school has set up a great program for his to help with the social problems.
Once a week himself and 3 other students from his class (this is usually a reward for the other students) get to eat their lunch together in the classroom with a lady who works with him on social skills. I'm not exactly sure what her professional title is. They play games and have a special snack. It seems to be working really well for this boy because of the special interaction time he gets with the teacher there to direct to his social skills and help him out a bit.
Not sure if something like this might be helpful or could be worked out for your son but I just thought I would share. Hang in there, it sounds like your doing everything you can and you are by no means a failure.