Just can't...

lukesliebe · March 2011

Ok so this is probably TMI but I just had to ask for some advice. I personally HATE oral both getting and receiving it and my DH loves both. I feel like a horrible wife especially when he honestly tries to please me, so I don't let him know how much I dislike it. I don't want to tell him how much I dread it when he obviously enojys it so much because I know he'll stop and I know how much he really likes it. Am I weird? I find my husband so attractive so I don't understand why I struggle with this. Does anyone else struggle too or have any advice for me? I'm at my wits end.

MeepWedding · March 2011

Do you struggle with orgasm in general? If you mentally aren't in the "zone", that is where you can try to work on things. It's great that you are attracted to your H, but having a hot man isn't always enough for you to be able to be comfortable with oral.

This isn't to say that there is anything wrong with you, lots of women struggle with all types of orgasm.

If you're not mentally in the mood/ ready to reach orgasm, maybe either tell YH that you should just have sex and take care of him (sometimes it may just not be happening- never, ever fake it), or give it a few minutes and see if you can try to calm your mind, focus and get there.

Are you uncomfortable with touching yourself? If not, perhaps try doing so once a week and practicing getting in the frame of mind where you are comfortable. It's kind of like running a race- if you aren't in shape beforehand, you won't do well and may not even finish.

Butterfly4210 · March 2011

I have a half similar issue. I don't like to give oral but am fine receiving it. XH had an issue with this (I dont expect it back if I am not giving it) .. but BF is accepting of this and is fine not getting it, he has yet to give it but that doesn't bother me in the least.. he is amazing in all other aspects.

DaringMiss · March 2011

Have you ever liked receiving oral? (previous lovers) What do you not like about it? Is it psychological? When your husband goes down on you, does it feel good at all? Or do you just want him to stop? Do you orgasm regularly during other sexual activities with your husband? Have you ever masturbated?

Do you like being manually stimulated? Since it is obvious that your husband wants to please you (yeah for your DH!), would you feel comfortable with him manually stimulating you to orgasm?

If you aren't interested in receiving oral, how do you prepare yourself for intercourse? How do you get yourself excited/lubricated for penetration?

What don't you like about giving oral? Many women find it physically challenging, but there are a lot of techniques that help you control depth and vigor. Are you open to trying some of them as oral makes your husband so happy?

carcrashheart · March 2011

the good news is that saliva kills spermies, so until you figure this out you can chalk it up to that.

binzy2524 · March 2011

Selfish!!!

EngineerAaron · March 2011

binzy2524:
Selfish!!!

Lol Binzy. OP, Binzy is generally a troll. Generally you can just laugh and disregard anything posted by this person.

lukesliebe · March 2011

DaringMiss:

Have you ever liked receiving oral? (previous lovers) What do you not like about it? Is it psychological? When your husband goes down on you, does it feel good at all? Or do you just want him to stop? Do you orgasm regularly during other sexual activities with your husband? Have you ever masturbated?

Do you like being manually stimulated? Since it is obvious that your husband wants to please you (yeah for your DH!), would you feel comfortable with him manually stimulating you to orgasm?

If you aren't interested in receiving oral, how do you prepare yourself for intercourse? How do you get yourself excited/lubricated for penetration?

What don't you like about giving oral? Many women find it physically challenging, but there are a lot of techniques that help you control depth and vigor. Are you open to trying some of them as oral makes your husband so happy?

I think it's partly psychological and partly becasue it just doesn't feel good.I have no problems climaxing usually, just not orally. I know! I have a wonderful husband which is why I'm trying not be selfish but to please him even though I don't like it. I didn't know if maybe anyone else struggled with the whole idea but yeah I would like to find a way to not only make my husband happy but make it easier for me as well both physically and mentally. Thanks for all the advice! I very much appreciate it!

jordanandtori · March 2011

I completely know what you mean. With each of my lovers I have struggled with enjoying oral sex when receiving it. I really enjoy giving it and pleasing my fiance, but when he goes to return the favor I clam up and can't relax. I think it's mostly a physiological thing, but I too don't have the heart to tell him that I'm not enjoying it because he too tells me how much he enjoys pleasing me. I usually tell him to use his hands so that I can kiss him and I too find my fiance incredibly attractive. So no, you're not alone!

lukesliebe · March 2011

jordanandtori:
I completely know what you mean. With each of my lovers I have struggled with enjoying oral sex when receiving it. I really enjoy giving it and pleasing my fiance, but when he goes to return the favor I clam up and can't relax. I think it's mostly a physiological thing, but I too don't have the heart to tell him that I'm not enjoying it because he too tells me how much he enjoys pleasing me. I usually tell him to use his hands so that I can kiss him and I too find my fiance incredibly attractive. So no, you're not alone!

Thank you so much! I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone..I felt like I must be the only woman in the world who feels like this!

katieisawesome · March 2011

If you don't like it, don't do it. You are a grown adult woman with the right to choose what sexual acts you will and will not engage in. I don't see the issue here.