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DH's Birthday... WWYD?
DH's birthday is Friday. He really doesn't think birthdays are a big deal... "everybody has one, why is it so special?" I've gotten him a couple of little gifts, nothing huge. But that was my extent of "plans" for his bday.
Last weekend, we're at his parents' house and they asked me what I'm planning for his bday. I say, "nothing, he really doesn't like his birthday and we usually don't do much of anything." They tell me they want to come to town and "surprise" him for his birthday. They do live about 4 hours away, but we see them every 2 or 3 months at least, so seeing them isn't really a huge surprise, you know? Then, since they live so far away, the IL's would have to stay with us Friday night.
They picked a place to have dinner and asked if I could get him there. I said it would be difficult because that's a kind of place we'd never go and he'd definitely think something was weird if I suggested it. I thought about asking them to go somewhere he actually likes, but I figure they're in town for 1 meal, so I guess they should go wherever they want to go.
We got his cousin and her BF in on it and I asked them to suggest this place. They did on Saturday and he was very "meh, ok, whatever" about it. So the dinner is on. Then, his parents asked me to invite MY parents. I did, thinking they wouldn't come, but wouldn't you know it, they want to come. He doesn't love my family, so seeing them isn't a great birthday present.
I really just want to tell him what's going on because it's not my idea, it's all his parents. I feel like he's going to be weirded out that his parents and my parents are there for his birthday. Would you tell your DH? Just to let him know ahead of time what's going on? Or should I keep it a secret?
Re: DH's Birthday... WWYD?
How do you think he will react? Will he be mad at you afterwards (how much does he dislike your family)?
I don't think it would have been out of line for you to suggest a restaurant he actually likes...it is his birthday after all. But you're definitely past that now. I say follow your gut. If your DH doesn't like surprises and won't be excited by seeing the people there to surprise him, I might give him a heads up so he can prepare mentally.
I personally don't like being caught off guard and would be less than pleased to see my ILs there, to be honest...and my face gives away everything so I'd really want the heads up!
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This. I would want a warning if a whole bunch of plans that I wouldn't necessarily be thrilled about are going to be forced upon me. Then I would do something nice for him that he would actually like after the family all leave, as reward for being a good sport (He will be a good sport about it all, right? If not and he's going to be miserable and the whole thing becomes uncomfortable, I'd call everything off). It's kind of sad, but this "celebration" sounds like it's more for the families and less for your husband.
Double ditto.
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