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To sort of go off Val's baby post
Have any of you ladies that aren't pregnant yet run into the situation where your DH isn't anywhere near as ready to have a baby as you are?? I was in the same room as DH when I was reading Val's post and after reading it responded "AWWW!!" outl loud. He asked me what and I told him and he was just like oh. and that was it. I didn't say anything b/c we've gone over the baby topic before where he says things like he could imagine living life without kids, and theres so much he wants to do before kids b/c they will just get in the way of us doing them..
I try to not bring up the topic b/c we apparently don't see eye to eye on it..even though it seemed like before he wanted to have kids someday. Now it goes back and forth between someday I want them and eh I don't care either way..which really breaks my heart b/c I want to be a mother so badly. I figure its still to worry about it now though when we def aren't ready for them now.
Anyway, I didn't say anything and so he said "sorry..I guess I just see it like another big life step like buying a new car or buying a house." Perhaps I just took it wrong but it feels totally different to me. I would be beyond excited to be pregnant. I'd be excited to get a house, but not like I would be when I found out we were having a baby.
I feel like all my friends around me are having kids, or at least their husband has expressed interest in someday having kids. My single friends don't understand which makes sense I suppose b/c they aren't with anyone. Idk I just don't feel like I have anyone that I know that is going through this too..it scares me that we may never have kids b/c of how DH feels and I don't get it b/c we used to talk about having a family someday..its like he just grew out of that phase?
Idk..thanks for letting me vent ladies
Re: To sort of go off Val's baby post
We're a bit of the opposite. DH thinks he wants kids like, now. He's not actually ready for that kind of a lifestyle change and I'm still in grad school. There are lots of reasons why we're going to wait at least another 2 years, but he thinks that's an eternity.
Lauren, I think that you shouldn't worry about it. As you said, you guys aren't ready for kids now, so it's understandable that your DH can't see how they would fit into your current lifestyle. I'm sure that, once you are in a place where you are ready for kids, he will feel differently and be more than excited for babies. Don't let yourself get too upset about it. I think that people who really don't want kids at all know that they don't want kids and would have definitely told their spouse that before getting married!
my read shelf:
I am in the opposite boat. Two weeks ago DH asked if we could have a baby 9 months from now- he was DEAD SERIOUS! I am the one that is not ready- I have to start my masters degree first, and be a little more financially prepared.
I am going to try to load everything on next Fall/Spring getting as many classes done and completing my second year of teaching (maybe teaching my first AP class), working my PT job- So we can buy a house. I am thinking we can start TTC next May-July
You Grew in My Heart instead of My Tummy
Proud Step-Mama to Clayton- 11/8/03
Proud Step-Mama to Amelia- 11/16/04
Proud Step-Mama to Brennan- 6/10/06
TTC OUR first
BFP#1 10/8/11, Blightened Ovum 10/17/11, D&C 10/18/11 @ 7w4d
BFP#2 6/10/12, EDD 2/14/13 ~Team Green! Grow baby Grow! Stick baby Stick!! IT'S A GIRL!!! Abbigaile Mae 2/21/13 7lbs 6oz 21inches 4:15am
At first I was in your situation. Having kids is super important to me but DH wasn't so sure. He also would say about wanting to do too much in his life and having kids would prevent some of it. Lucky for me though, the idea of having a baby has grown on him. He's even started to use the phrase "when we have kids" rather than "if we have kids"! Granted, we still plan on waiting a few years so he can graduate from college first and the wait is so hard to me! I see babies everywhere and can't help but to long for one of my own. But, I agree with DH that waiting a little bit is for the best. We both have strong feelings against daycare so we want to be at a place financially where I can stay at home with our future children.
As for your situation, I would say not to worry about it too much right now since you say you are not ready yet but make sure your DH knows just how important having a child is to you. Unfortunately disagreements on whether or not to have children can be a major factor on failed marriages and it really would be best if both of you agreed on the matter. But certainly don't give up.
my read shelf:
Books read in 2011: 32 of 75