Sex & Romance
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advice anyone....

This is going to be a long one... I love my DH, he's always been faithful and loving to me. But for about a week now, I have been really distant from him like I don't know how to act with him.  I don't feel the way I use to when he would kiss me, hug me or when he wants to cuddle with me. I even find myself pushing him away bc it makes me feel weird.

This one night we were fooling around and than he stopped and says "ok, my turn" in a weird way and it really threw me off... I was like "what?", and he said it again. I was thinking to myself this is weird. He usually doesn't ask for oral sex bc he's not really into that and I've never heard him ask me like that before. I really didn't and still don't know what to think or feel about it. Bc I didn't know how to react to his request, he ended it very quick with a quickie sex and went to the bathroom and came back to bed and says good night babe. No kiss, No cuddle, No NOTHING! I was like okay.... Broken Heart It really made me feel used and unloved. I couldn't sleep that night, it made me feel like we had no connection at all, I didn't even know who he was for that moment. All I kept thinking of was when he told me (before we got married) the girls he hooked up with in college he never cuddle with them bc they were no one to him, but I'm different to him. Bc I couldn't sleep, I ended up sleeping in our spare room bc I didn't feel right laying next to him. The next morning he act like nothing happen.

Wilted FlowerShould I be worry? Am I overreacting or over thinking this? I don't know how to approach him about this and tell him how it made me feel.

^g^

Re: advice anyone....

  • you need to have a long deep conversation with him. Communication is everything in marriage.  He either dosen't even know what he's doing or you have a real problem- either way you need to tell him how you're feeling and get him to honestly tell you how he's feeling.

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  • Why didn't you just say something to him then?  Instead you got all passive aggressive, kept it inside and slept in another room?  The fix here is to TALK to him.  If you married the guy you should be able to tell him anything, even if you are overreacting.

  • You need to tell him that it made you feel uncomfortable. How else is he going to know that you're upset?
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  • Thanks for the advice... communication is the key. I did talk to him about this and he said he didn't even know he did it and that, that is not how he feels about us. After the talk I felt better and at ease. I guess I was overreacting and over thinking the situation. Again, Thanks for the advice....
    ^g^
  • imagea2g3Lav:
    Thanks for the advice... communication is the key. I did talk to him about this and he said he didn't even know he did it and that, that is not how he feels about us. After the talk I felt better and at ease. I guess I was overreacting and over thinking the situation. Again, Thanks for the advice....

    Good for you!  Just keep doing it.  I tend to take things personally and talking to my H as soon as it happens has helped me quit doing this. 

  • Good for you for talking to him! Big Smile Sometimes it can be wierd starting conversations like that, especially when it is about sex and intimacy. I still feel wierd talking to my FI about sex and probably will for a long time. I guess we just sometimes expect men to be able to read our minds! It seems like they should be able to right! I get frutsterated at my FI when he can't understand why I'm upset! Sometimes their minds just don't work the same way ours do!Surprise Just keep it up, and good luck! I hope things get better!
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  • Good for you to talking to him. Communication, no matter how uncomfortable, is truly important for a healthy marriage. And he could have been reacting to your stand offish ways ealier and may not have realized it. GL and Hope thing continue to improve.
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