September 2010 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Where did everyone go?
It's like a ghost town here.
Whoa, did anyone see that? I think a tumbleweed just passed by.
So...let's liven things up a bit with a QOTD.
Do you feel like you are a part of DH's family, or welcome into his family?
I love his family, but sometimes I feel like we're left out of family functions and important events. I don't know maybe it's just me. Perhaps I should make more of an effort with them.
Re: Where did everyone go?
I don't usually work during the day, so I've been out getting things done.
I do not feel like I am a part of DH's family. We dated for seven years and I really like his family (well most of them), but I feel out of place and not really welcome some times. I try to make an effort to be more active in his family and still struggle.
I've been crazy busy at work. And depressed about work. So I either have no time or energy for TN.
His immediate family? Yes. His mom loves me. It's actually awkward for me, because I'm used to my independence and I think she wants more from me.
His extended family? Nope. Most of the cousins are all right around the same age and they're very clique-y. Also, in general, his family lapses into/out of Portuguese. Since I don't speak (neither does he), I often feel left out.
Do I feel welcome with his family? With his mom's mom and step dad..1000x yes. With his mom...no. We get along okay but she knows I don't like her and we're pretty much fake around each other. I don't know about his dad...I guess I do but his dad is hard to read so who knows. His brother is another story too...I don't put up with his smartass attitude like everyone else does. I've only seen his other grandparents a few times but they've always been sweet to me. A couple of his cousins are socially awkward so it's hard to be anything with them but awkward.
I'm procrastinating today like it's my only job, so I was wondering the same thing, re: where everybody went!
Do you feel like you are a part of DH's family, or welcome into his family? Yes! They have been super with me. We got off to a funny start, with him inviting me on their family WDW vacation before they even knew he was dating someone, but once I realized that and told him he had to ask permission to bring me, they were great.
But ugh, that's another story. I don't understand how H could have weekly Skype sessions with his family and not tell them that we were dating. He really never opened up to them about his actual life before. I'm pretty much an open book, so once his mom got my email address and realized I actually answer her myriad questions, she never looked back.
I have a good relationship with DH's family. We get left out of family events sometimes, but I think that's because they don't plan anything more than a few days ahead of time and everyone just assumes that someone else told us. And MIL forgets that she didn't call us because John is the youngest of 5. We've missed a few birthday parties, and showed up at a couple without knowing they were birthday parties.
That said, @mushE, DH didn't tell his parents for a while that we were dating. He was afraid of how they would react to the idea that he was dating someone else again so soon, because when we started dating he was going through a divorce and had KU his first girlfriend (who dumped him very soon after getting KU) after his wife left him. He tried to ease them into it by telling them he had a friend who he'd been hanging out with and had gone to church with a few times. When he finally told them and we met, everything was great.
TTC since 08/2010
Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
Dx PCOS 3/2012
SA 5/25/12--normal
June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI
I'm here! (well not sure if any of you missed me, lol). James and I were able to close on our house on Friday and we've been busy since moving in and getting internet connected on Sunday. I've been on the go-go-go and am glad I'm not at work this week, I need the time off.
IUI #1 10/12/11 (Bravelle + HCG + Prometrium & acupuncture) = 10/26 BFP! Beta #1=250, Beta #2= 615. 1st u/s 11/8.
I know it's late, but I'm going to answer!
At first, I didn't feel like I was part of H's fam. I didn't even feel like H was part of his own fam! But that was because I was viewing things through the lens of my family, who all 25+ of them live within 5 miles of each other, who are ALL up in each other's business, who have 0 privacy, who do whatever my grandmother tells them. Now, I realize that H and I are more part of his family than mine. Especially because I stopped blindly following my family and now I'm kind of the outcast.
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
Since I can't sleep I'll chime in now...
I think I'm more or less welcome in DH's family. His mom throws hissy fits complaining about how I don't like her and how we ignore her and do all this stuff with my family, but then when we're around we all get along pretty well. In truth, I realized early on (read: was warned by K, his BIL, his Cousin & CIL, his aunt (mom's sister), and pretty much everyone in a 10 mile radius) that K's mom was very clingy - as a result, I try to keep her at arms length. She'd like another daughter and I'm okay with 'only' being a DIL - I already have a mom.
K and I are on the same page in that we pretty much live our own life, do 'family' things when appropriate but don't need to be with them every other day. His mom thinks we should be entertaining her on a daily basis. His dad and his sister are both decent, though, in terms of expectations and behavior. His sis and I clash from time to time - although it usually revolves around money and 'fair shares' since I think they take advantage, but as long as no cash is involved, we're good.
Married / The Cookaholic Wife
Don's dad and grandfather like me...well enough. His grandmother really liked me which sucks even more because she passed away in July. One of his aunts likes me well enough, but the other one is a pain in both of our butts. She's the one that since she found out we were engaged had tried to drive us apart. Her family didn't attend our wedding, which was for the better. Don hasn't seen her since his grandmother passed away and I haven't seen/spoke to her since a few months before that...so coming close to a year now. As for Don's sister...she's an interesting case...when it's just me and her we get along great, but when it's the whole family together she doesn't say more than 2 words to me.
We found out yesterday that Don's job is willing to guarantee him a job if I take the job within my company that's an hr away. So, it looks like I'll be taking the job and we'll be moving at the end of our lease. This will create a huge issue with his family. NO ONE has moved away in his family. Everyone lives within 20 mins of each other. So I know I won't be their favorite person since I'll be "the one taking their Don away" even though it's only an hour away! They even got upset that we went and saw my family for Thanksgiving and didn't see them...rediculous! His whole family spends every holiday together...even the ones who've married into the family haven't stood up...except for me.
I would wonder if Don was one of my cousins/uncles if he lived in southern NY. My family is exactly the same.
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
His cousin is one of my BFFs, I love his aunts and uncles and cousins. I'm very close with his one sister, and pretty close with his brother.
I absolutely detest his older sister, and my relationship with his parents is affected by that, but their relationship with their other kids is also affected by what a complete ahole their oldest kid is.