September 2010 Weddings
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Division of Labor
I'm bored, so another QOTD:
How do you & DH split up household chores? Do you stick with 'girl' jobs while he does the 'boy' jobs? Both do everything?
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
Re: Division of Labor
He vacuums, washes the dishes and straightens up the living room.
I do everything else. But as long as he does the dishes I'll gladly do everything else.
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
Weekly MFD typically vacuums the floors and couch, cleans the shower, takes out the trash as necessary and on trash day. It's a struggle to get him to deal with his laundry. He vacuums the basement every other week since we're not really down there.
Outside he does all of the shovelling. We both do yardwork to get the yard ready for the season, but he does most maintenance. Besides watering, we take turns on that.
Weekly I clean both baths, the kitchen, dust the whole house, vacuum the top floor, change bedding (our room and guest rooms as necessary), and wash the communal laundry (sheets/towels/blankets). I also do the grocery shopping, keep the schedule, mail the cards, buy the gifts, pay the bills. I do most of the cooking and the running joke in our house is "Hey Mike, look at this, next to the sink! It's a dishwasher!"
He will not paint anything. I will not take out the trash. I love to clean and organize and purge, so I'm better suited for most household tasks.
Honestly, Don doesn't do much as much as I'd like him to...we both live in the house, but I feel like I do all the housework
He takes out the trash, does his own laundry since his clothes are soooo stinky, cleans the cat box, walks molly (60% of the time), will only vacuum when i clearly ask him to
I do all the cooking, grocery shopping, my laundry plus towels and floormats, cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning the kitchens, washing dishes, loading the dishwasher...can't think of anymore at this moment
oh, and i pay all the bills and manage the money and yet he gets his underware in a wad when i forget to remind him about something OR when i dont remember where he put something - yeah buddy, i have to remember everything else so im sorry i dont remember where you set your glasses the other night
H does the dishes (most of the time) and usually takes over the laundry once I start it.
I do everything else, including managing the finances. Once in a while I let things go for a while to see if he will actually do it, but that rarely works.
Generally speaking, I do the dishes, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping. I change bedding, vacuum the bedroom, and keep the bathroom & kitchen clean. If he wants cleaning done beyond that he's usually on his own. He's responsible for the garbage, outside work (except the flower beds) & vehicle maintenance. We've just started combining our finances so we're working on that one. I'm interested to see how/if things change over the next couple of months.
I don't nag about stuff being all over the house, but he has a tendency to leave sneakers, dirty socks, etc by the couch in the living room - until I trip over them for the umpteenth time and whip them somewhere else. Usually pretty effective.
I guess we pretty much split it. I always cook and he always cleans the kitchen. He has been getting lax about that lately and waiting til the next day or so to do them. He has to wash his work clothes since they're gross and I pretty much do the rest of the laundry. He'll occassionally do the whites or towels or something. The vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms and stuff are split to whoever wants to do them that day. We usually just say "I'll do this if you'll do that" and it works.
I'm in charge of finances and tell him when to pay what bills and all. We need to just get a joint account so it'll make my life easier.
I feel like he does more, but the one time I mentioned it, he said "you cook everyday" and I dropped it!
But, I cook everyday and sweep/mop on the weekends. I clean the bathroom and kitchen. He does the dishes, garbage and lawn/snow stuff. He generally starts the laundry and then we generally both fold.
He takes care of most of the finances. The only weird part is our cell phone bill. Before the wedding we'd alternate who paid for it, and he keeps doing that. We should just set up an auto pay out of the joint account.
jealous of all of you!
because g is working all the time, he NEVER does ANYTHING. i mean, he will wash the dishes every day from when i make dinner, but he does no chores, at least in the fall and winter. starting next week though, i get him back on weekends and he will help with dusting, vacuuming, garbage, and recycling. i do the rest.
oh, he does laundry too. washes it, but doesnt put it away. i fold his fuckings laundry for him and put it in the proper spot. otherwise, he dumps it on the floor.
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Nothing riles me up quite like MFD's laundry. That is one place where I do sweat the small stuff. It drives me insane in the membrane.
He lets it pile up until I am unsure how he has any clean clothes. When it's clean, it sits in the basement for a while near the laundry. Then it either goes into his office (his hanging clothes are in there), our room (his folded clothes are in there) or one of the spare bedrooms (that's his ironing/dressing area)...utterly RIDICULOUS!
Ha! I'm scared this is or will be us. We lived together before the wedding, but only for a year. I feel like we were so busy with first getting the house together and then planning the wedding that we didn't have time to fight about this stuff. Which means we're doing it now.
Not that we're fighting a lot about it, but that our division still seems so unsettled.
I can't believe y'alls husbands do so much around the house!!! So jealous.
I cook, clean, laundry, take care of the dogs and every thing else you can think of. I clean all of his messes up. Literally he throws his clothes all over the floor in the bathroom and our room and I am right behind him picking it up and putting them in the hamper. I even clean his closet which is totally his space I have not one thing in there. He had actually moped twice in this apartment and out of our 7 year relationship it's the first time i have ever seen him mop. I guess I knew what i was getting into when we got together though because he has been like this forever.
So does he sit on his arse while you do all this? Or is he being productive in other areas?
I think it's a lifelong series of compromises and revamps if that makes you feel any better!
Sits on his arse or he's at work. I think he thinks those are my duties because he pays more of the bills than I do since he make more money than I do.
Good luck to you, then. I make twice what DH makes and I still do at least half the house chores. But if the situation doesn't work for you, stand up for yourself. It will never change if you don't say anything.