Furbabies driving you nuts? Nosy Mrs. J wants to hear about it!
Warning: Mild TMI to follow.
Dear Finnigan,
When the urine is ALREADY COMING OUT OF YOUR BODY, it is TOO LATE to run for the door. You're making my clean up job harder than it needs to be. While we're on the subject, you cannot RUN AWAY FROM YOUR PEE until it has finished coming out of your little boy parts. Also, Daddy is your friend. He loves you and wants to love on you. You weigh almost twenty pounds and he is the only person here who can cuddle you the way you want to be cuddled. Stop being so scared of him. You're hurting his feelings.
Love
Your scratched and abused Momma
Dear Dinah,
You CANNOT canoodle with the big orange one-eye tomcat. I don't care how pretty he thinks you are or how mad you are that Meagan will not be your boyfriend. He's going hit it and quit it, and you are not old or responsible enough to be the single mother of 5-8 kittens. Also, Daddy will fall desperately in love with each and every one of them, and I refuse to be the crazy cat lady.
Love
The mean old Momma
Re: WTF Wednesday - Pet Addition
You're hilarious! Your posts always make me crack up. Where have you been!?
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My Darling Marius,
Stop barking at people in hats!! I know that not everyone can pull them off, so to you it must seem as if we live in a world of fashion faux pas, but for a dog as sweet and cuddly as you to pigeonhole those who wear hats as your enemy is not an attractive quality. It's just...bizarre! Whether it's the little girl on TV or your daddy's aunt coming over to visit or the homeless man on the bus, I don't get the complete distaste for hats! You even bark at me when I wear one! And you're not a barking dog! Silly creature. Break that. Now.
Love,
Your embarrassed and perplexed Momma
Married 11/6/10
My friend's terrier has a thing about bald men. It's embarrassing... she feels the need to attack strange men on the the head but finds it difficult to reach as a terrier. Is it all kinds of head gear (caps, scarves, etc.), or just brimmed hats?
Anything covering the head. I mean, you could be playing with him one moment, turn your back and cover your head with a sheet of paper and he'd probably bark. Strange dog.
Married 11/6/10
Ha! These all made me laugh right now!
^ Haha to your post
Dear Baby Foxy Roxy (my fur baby),
I love you so much and I'm glad that you are starting to mellow out, but why are you all of a sudden becoming demon kitty and biting at my feet? I know you are jealous that your momma has another little baby growing inside of her, but I enjoy your cuddles when i get them. Thank you for being so cute... now, we might have to do something about you taking up over half of my photos on my phone... if anyone were to investigate my photos, they'd think I were a crazy cat lady... I'm just a sucker for cute, cuddly, cats!
Your lovin momma
Dear Health Issues (whatever you may be)
I hope that after I take this absolutely stupid UTI medicine that my pelvic pain will disappear like a ghost! I have had no issue going to the bathroom so it kinda sucks that I have an infection... I haven't had one in forever... but this pelvic pain needs to really go away... Oh and you lame ignorant headaches, you can pack up and go somewhere else please! you're worse than those germs on the commercials that are having a party in someone's sinuses!.... health issues, get a life.
Very ungrateful body!
Dear walgreens
Thank you for filling my prescription in 20 minutes so I could browse around and pick out wonderful green and silver polish for st. patty's day! I love how it came out!
Annoying person that usually doesn't dress up for holidays
Dear Crispin,
You and me are gonna have a rough time the next couple months... with your daddy being gone, you better keep me company! I might complain about you fighting me for the middle of the bed, but really I love it. I'm always perplexed at how you manage to hog the entire bed when you are only 5 pounds though.
Love,
Mother
Big, big like the moon...
The power supply in our laptop died and we don't have the spare $80 to replace it. Dave has been bringing home his Mac from work, but until a few days ago I had SEVERE macophobia. So I'm kind of a little bit back in the evenings sort of.
MUAH!
Big, big like the moon...