Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
trying to claim rooms in our new place
My family is moving soon into a 3 bedroom townhouse. My daughter has shared a room with us since she has been born and just turned 3 yrs old. My plan is to give her her own room. We will have one and my teenager will have another. My daughter is getting big enough and has a lot of things. My husband is into music and would like to have the 3rd bedroom his music studio. Help. How do I have him see and agree with me? We do have a formal dining room he can make into his room, but he chooses not to. What can I say without it turning into an arguement?
Re: trying to claim rooms in our new place
He would rather have your growing daughter in your room and a music room than privacy and still have a music room? Not to mention that he is putting his own needs above those of his daughter.
I don't know that I have any advice. This would cause an argument for me.
Do you know why he is so against the dining room? If you find out his reasons, you may be able to find solutions.
Tell him to grow up. Sharing a room as a kid because your parents hobby need a whole room sucks royally no matter what age you are, and teaches the kids bad morals. It makes me think of Matilda with Danny DeVito "Adults are smart, kids are dumb, you're a kid and I am the adult. So deal with it." You really want to teach your kid that is ok to make everyone else's lives harder because of their own selfish gains?
Also, what about moving the kid into the dinning room? Some kids love that stuff. My sister lived in the living room for a year when she was 7-8ish. My parents didn't support it, and tried to get her to share a room for me, but my sister would always wait until everyone went to sleep and wander out to the couch. My parents would find her snoozing on it when they got their morning coffee. It stopped when we moved into a bigger house and my sister got her own room.
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Uh yeah, she can't be in your room. Tell him he will just have to wait a few years till the teenager is out of the house, then he can have his music room.
Can the basement be set up as a music room? Your H should have thought of this before you purchased a house. While I think kids CAN share a room, having two kids of different ages share a room b/c daddy's music stuff is more important than they are sends a bad message.
Plus, your dd is getting to the age where it is inappropriate for a child to share a room with her dad - sleeping arrangements, sex, nudity - those are things a child should not be exposed to.
There is something very wrong with that and its even more wrong your H would suggest it continue. Ewww, totally gross. And your H is "into" music which I presume means this isnt his job, more of a hobby. Ummm, tough sh!t for him. I dont think a hobby should be more important than his daughter. He should've bought a bigger house but since he didnt he needs to do what best for his family and thats not having your child grow up in the privacy of your bedroom.
I'm sorry but your husband needs to suck it up. I would tell him to set up his crap in the garage if I were you.
If my husband thinks the same way, hell yeah there's going to be an argument.
Super-old planning bio and my photo blog
i'd tell him that your teenager is going to grow up and move out before you know it, at which point in time he is welcome to turn her room into a music room (which is exactly what my dad did after i left for school). until that time, i would suggest he put his children's needs ahead of his own wants.
Im not sure about social services/family law issues in Maryland but some states require a child to have their own/shared with a sibling bedroom where possible. If they are forced to sleep in a non traditional setting due to family choices i.e mom moves in with bf with no room for kid, parents continue co-sleeping beyond a certain age, child is forced to share a room with an adult relative it can become CPS issue in many states.
So your H wants come before his DD's needs. Maybe you should break it down like that..... He is being selfish.
This would be a huge red flag for me that music to him is more important than his family.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
I bet the teenager would prefer to convert the diningroom into her bedroom rather than to be on the same floor as all of you anyway.
I'd frame the doorway with french doors for privacy and buy an inexpensive armour for a closet. The doors would look nice if/when you went back to a formal diningroom.
I've seen a lot of diningroom re-purposed in houses and they always seem to fit the family really well. For your family, a bedroom might be a better choice than a music room. Doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me.
Thank you for your responses. My husband came around and decided to take the dining room for his music studio without further arguements. Case solved