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Uhh... boss caught me off guard.
I started a new job at a new company in November. I was happy in my last job but made the change because the new employer is WAY more family friendly, closer to home, and would make for a much better situation when my H and I have children. We've been planning to start fertility treatments this summer.
So my boss and I were just talking about work, but somehow got on a tangent about diapers. To make a long story short, she said "When you decide to start a family ... and hopefully that is not anytime soon, at least for a few years... you should use cloth diapers."
Um. Ok. Now I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about baby making anytime soon. I'm torn. WWYD? Even if I got pregnant right away, I'd be covered by FMLA when the time came. But... I don't want to ruin anyone's opinions of me.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
Re: Uhh... boss caught me off guard.
Wow...that's totally not okay for her to say. Apparently, she doesn't fit in with the rest of your company in regards to family friendliness.
Are you young? Maybe she's putting her view of acceptable age to have a child on you. (vs. her view of how long she thinks you should work there before having a child)
I'm actually in the same boat where I just started a new job but plan to start the baby making this fall. I too go back and forth on "do I want to prove myself, or do I want to stick with our family plan"
The answer is for me keeps being, I want to stick with my plan. If you think you'll need more time to get ahead and be where you want in a career then maybe waiting is a good idea. If you and H are really ready and have been waiting and you're okay with the idea of having a fmaily at this point in your career then go for it. Don't let someone else's opinion on when you should have a child effect when you have a child.
I am 28. I got married about a year ago, which they knew because of my name change happening during the interview process. Surely they considered that I'd be starting a family eventually...
It is not an entry-level job and I am the only person doing in this role. I do care about my career and putting off babies for a few years wouldn't be the end of the world, but, I don't want to. I made this move for that reason. I'm not getting any younger, and I know that getting pregnant could/will be difficult for me.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
An off the cuff comment from your boss is making you rethink your family building plans?
If you read it carefully, the boss just said hopefully not anytime soon. If it is anytime soon, oh well.
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
I agree that it isn't her decision when I have children. But, it is her decision when it comes to my career role/progression. I guess I just don't want to do something to upset them. I'm in a great place career-wise and would hate to step on the wrong toes.
I guess in the grand scheme of things, I'd NEVER regret having kids. That fact should probably answer my own questions.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
I can understand why she thinking about it.
Her boss is basically in control if she has a job or not. If ILoveRed does go ahead and have children in a timeframe that this woman does not appreciate she could find a way to terminate her. And having a new baby while being jobless sounds really scary. Cut her a little slack.
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
I'd dismiss it. If you and your H want to have kids soon, don't let her little comment ruin your plans. I personally don't think any boss should make a comment like that- and who is she to say that you should use cloth diapers? That's just odd to me.
Your position will be protected under FMLA, so it's not like she could fire you. In the grand scheme of things an 8-12 week maternity leave is nothing. If you plan on staying with the company long term, I don't see what the big deal would be.
I'm just ringing in here because I'm really tired (so, so tired) of women telling other women when to procreate. I'm thirty and I always get the "you better hurry up" speech which frightens me. I don't know for sure if I want kids. And I feel bad for saying that to other people.
You said in the above comment that you'd really regret not being able to have kids. Which leads me to believe that this is more important to you than your job. Which means you should brush her comment aside and do what you want to do. You plan to stay with the company long term - have kids once you're covered by FMLA. Do it on your schedule, not theirs.
And I think it's ridiculous that she's telling you what diapers to use.
I definitely think you're overthinking this. Just because you decide to have children doesn't mean you're going to upset anyone or step on toes. Keep to your plans and take your boss's comment with a giant boulder of salt.
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
This exactly.
My guess is your boss made the comment because she is happy with the job you are doing and the way things are going. She probably doesn't want to have to think about finding a temporary replacement while you are on maternity leave or a permanent replacement if you decide to quit to be a SAHM. It isn't easy finding an employee who fits the culture, work ethic, etc.
Do not rethink your plans. I guarantee your boss hasn't thought about her comment once since she said it.
Do whst is right for YOUR family.. not what your BOSS says
and honestly.. you dont want to ruin other peoples opinions about you? For real? Live YOUR life.. not anyone elses.