September 2008 Weddings
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To give a gift or not to give a gift?

We received a very strange wedding invitation today. It is from a friend that we met in Australia (7 years ago). He was a semi-good friend of mine and an casual friend of Justin's, but we haven't spoken to him since inviting him to our wedding. (He didn't attend and I don't think he sent a gift.) There are no ill-feelings, but we had fallen-apart before our wedding, and that is just the last time I remember us conversing. I was surprised to see we were invited to his wedding since we haven't spoken in so long. That's the first weird thing. The second weird thing is that the envelope says, "Coral weds Sonal May 28th, 2011", but the invitation says June 18th. I thought May 28th might be the day they have the actual wedding (a traditional Indian ceremony) and June 18th is the American reception. After looking at their wedding website, I see this is the case. (The ceremony is also in Canada, but the reception is in NJ.) I thought that I would send a gift from their registry even though I don't think he sent us one, but then I saw in (small) print at the bottom of the invitation says, "No boxed gifts, please." I assume this is a nice(r) way of saying cash only. Am I right? I won't ignore the message and send a gift from BB&B or something, but I wonder if I should send a check or just not send anything since he didn't get us anything (normally I would send something anyway) and they are being tacky by asking for cash. WWYD? [Poll]
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Re: To give a gift or not to give a gift?

  • Do you think maybe "no boxed gifts" is intended for people who are attending the wedding reception, and they don't want people to bring boxed gifts? Maybe b/c they don't want to have to transport gifts afterwards? I dunno...this was my first thought when I read that. Unless this is the "new" way to say they want cash?
  • imagemarytini:
    Do you think maybe "no boxed gifts" is intended for people who are attending the wedding reception, and they don't want people to bring boxed gifts? Maybe b/c they don't want to have to transport gifts afterwards? I dunno...this was my first thought when I read that. Unless this is the "new" way to say they want cash?

    I didn't find them registered anywhere, so I'm not sure!

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  • I would still send them a card with maybe a gift card? This could be a nice compromise between a gift and a check... Even though he didn't send you a gift, I think I would still send something since for whatever reason he still invited you guys to their wedding. 
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  • imageearl&pearl:
    I would still send them a card with maybe a gift card? This could be a nice compromise between a gift and a check... Even though he didn't send you a gift, I think I would still send something since for whatever reason he still invited you guys to their wedding. 

    where do they live?

    I would do what Ana said or I would send something directly to their house, if you can't find a registry then a GC would be great but I personally wouldn't do money.

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  • xojo1xojo1 member
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    I agree with Ana. 

    While I think it is tack to stipulate what kind of gifts you want or don't want, I voted to send a card with a check. I probably wouldn't send as much as I would to family or other friends, though.

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  • imagexojo1:

    I agree with Ana. 

    While I think it is tack to stipulate what kind of gifts you want or don't want, I voted to send a card with a check. I probably wouldn't send as much as I would to family or other friends, though.

    I voted the same as Jo, though I would probably send a giftcard. And definitely not your typical "friend" wedding gift amount.

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  • I would send a GC (small amount) or send a small gift directly to their house. It's either the new way to ask for cash or they aren't able to transport gifts home. Something seems a bit ... off?? though, thats for sure!
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  • ditto the others, I'd probably send a gift card for a small amount (not what you'd normally spend on a friend's gift).
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  • I'm thinking you received the invite because you invited him.  Also, I think the comment about the gift may be a cultural thing.

    Honestly, if I hadn't been in contact with someone for almost three years and got an invite out of the blue, I probably wouldn't go or give a gift.  Unless they used to be my best friend or college roommate or something and we just drifted apart.

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