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clicky: would you spend 9 months away from spouse for fulbright?
i'm a phd student right now. i'm thinking about applying for the fulbright, which would mean 9 months away from DH, on the opposite side of the world. he may or may not be able to come visit while i'd be over there.
i'd say that there's a realistically good chance of i'd get it if i applied, given the track record at my school and in my program, plus my qualifications.
so DH said if i want to go for it, he'd be okay. my mother's in the "don't do it, your marriage comes first" camp, and my dad said that 9 months is nothing if i could have the fulbright on my CV. i'm not sure where i fall -- i've never been away from DH for more than a week (we've been married for 5 years, together for 10). i'm going to spend 2 months this summer in the same country, in language study. so i'm going to see how that goes first. but, i'm curious what others would do.
[Poll]
Re: clicky: would you spend 9 months away from spouse for fulbright?
If this is something that in the big picture of your life will help you or be an experience that you feel will be like no other, yes, do it.
I don't feel marriage should come first at the exclusion of everything else. There is a balance that needs to be met here, and if your DH supports this, THAT is what matters. Yes, you'll be apart, but it doesn't mean you're putting your marriage last.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
You should definitely apply. I know several people who've been in this situation, and the 9 months goes by very quickly especially with visits. Also, most countries offer a small stipend for spousal support if your H decides to move with you for those 9 months.
Also, you might think your chances are good, but you really can never predict, so don't spend too much time worrying about it until you know.
And finally, from one PhD student to another, a Fulbright will look great on your CV. Considering the academic job market you want every last edge you can get when you're looking for jobs, and a Fulbright will definitely make you stand out.
ITA! As long as you have the support of your partner, what an opportunity!
I agree with all the rest. You shouldn't pass up an opportunity like this. What is your husband telling you?
Regardless, your hesitation is obvious. So, at the very least, apply. If you don't, you'll always wonder. If you do, and you are granted the position, you can always refuse to accept it, if you so decide later.
2013 Calendars and More!
In these days of SKYPE and airplanes, 9 months is nothing!
Plus the boost to your resume will lead to better jobs, more pay and increased job satisfaction. All of that will be a benefit to your marriage over the long run.
Apply, see if you win, then stress about 9 months apart!
thanks everyone. you're mostly echoing DH, who keeps telling me that it would be an amazing opportunity (both in the immediate and long term) and that i should go for it. i just hate that my schooling keeps forcing him to make sacrifices.
Eh, you have to get used to that. Presumably once you finish your degree and find a job he'll move wherever you get hired, right? You've been together for 10 years and it sounds like you're in your 2nd year of grad school, so I'm guessing he knew what he was getting into.
I'd also seriously consider if he can take time off work to come with you for the entire time or at least part of the time if you can swing it financially. When I did my research abroad H came along, and it was an amazing opportunity for both of us. You're only going to be working 8-ish hours a day so it's easy to get bored or feel isolated when you aren't working. Plus, H did all the chores/laundry/grocery shopping which helped enormously with finishing my research!
I would totally do it. It's an amazing opportunity, and the 9 months will go so fast.
Also, I agree with pp that you should only discuss this with your H, because adding more opinions will just be confusing, and it's really not their decision anyway.
71 workouts completed in 2012
I wouldn't do it either.
This may be a little irrelvant, but how old are you
and how long have you been married.
I personally would not do it. When I was younger (and it was my first marriage), I worked in one state and lived in another. I came home on Fri nights to be w/DH and I left Sun night or Mon morning. We were young, had been together along time and it worked for us at the time. Of course we still ended up divorced many years later.
Now at 35 and married for 3 years, I'd never do it. We do our adventures together. He got an offer in the Netherlands...so here we are as a family.
There is no right answer I guess. On one hand its your husband, on the other, a once in a lifetime deal. Good luck, not an easy decision.
Do it! My DH's cousin married a Fulbright scholar who was here in the states working at the Mayo clinic. They met through friends and she is originally from Russia. Currently she is in Russia fulfilling her commitments for either immigration or Fulbright, but she just got a Fulbright Grant. She is in the process for her PH.D in Rheumatoid Arthritis, and I think her grant is for research purposes.Think of the networking being a Fulbright scholar would allow and all of the other opportunities that come with the title.
Ditto to PP! Skype is amazing as are other messaging services. They talk every day on Skype, and the rest of the family does the same. FWIW, I spent 3 months away from my husband, granted it was only a 5 hour drive between us, but it was still education related as I was doing an internship. I was supposed to be gone for 4 months, but I left my internship early for multiple reasons, none of them being because I was homesick or missed my H.
As someone who has done LD longer than that, I'm of the mindset that if your relationship isn't strong enough to handle it, it was doomed to fail anyway (I know that sounds awful).
I'd do it in a heart beat. I think you'd be crazy to pass up that fantastic oppertunity. Now that I have a child, I wouldn't do it. But pre child I would. H and I have moved abroad for his job, but that is different IMO than a 9 month stint. For that, we probably would do LD.