Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Easter and Inlaws
I called my MIL last week to ask what their plans were for Easter. She didnt know and said they would know more the week of Easter. I told her that I would like to host easter this year, because the 19th of April my dad is having back sugery and my mom and I will be with him and he is scheduled to be released from the hospital on that Friday. MIL wasnt too thrilled about us hosting Easter and said that it is really hard to host thier 12 people and I want to host and additional 3 (actually it will be a total of 16) in our house. I told her that it wouldnt be a problem, and if she would like to help she could, but I just think it would take some of the stress off of my mom. Friday we learned that my little brother has a mass in his brain above his left eye. Today they are doing sugery to remove polyps in his nose that look to be the same as the mass in his brain to see what it is and go from there. I am now fully sure that I will be hosting Easter, my mom just doesnt have the energy to host the event. I am not sure how to broach this with my MIL again, becuase she pretty much shot me down when I said I wanted to host the event. Really it comes down to if she wants to see us on Easter then they will come to our house and enjoy easter. MIL doesnt like holidays because her niece has 2 little girls and MIL's house is not Child proof and MIL doesnt like the children to even breath at her house. Just needed to vent. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
Re: Easter and Inlaws
O.k. - wait. Does she usually host? You say she doesn't like holidays, so I'm a little confused.
Anyhow- I don't really see the big deal. You and DH have decided to host Easter as your mom isn't up for it. You can invite your IL's and it's up to them to accept or not.
That's how invitations work! They don't have to come if they dont' want to.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Yea, I'm really confused as to what the issue is here. The only thing you need to say is "MIL, we are hosting Easter in our home this year. We would love for you and the rest of the family to come. Please let me know by _____ if you plan on joining us."
Then she and the rest of the family can choose if they would like to come to your house or if they prefer to do something else. You can't force them to come.
Your post sounded a little wishy-washy about hosting "I told her I'd like to..." so maybe she thought you were just thinking about it, not that you were inviting her and that you count on hosting.
I think you should more clearly communicate this to her.
74 books read in 2011
Tough luck for your MIL. As long as you and your H agree on this you simply tell her how it will be, you don't suggest it. Sometimes life doesn't go as planned and changes need to be made. She'll get over it. You aren't excluding your MIL and if she wants to be selfish or upset then that's her problem, she can sit at home and complain. I'd send out invites this week since Easter's about 4 weeks away and she can either accept or not.
Based on your update, I think your DH needs to handle this from here on out. He just needs to tell her "due to the health issues w/ her family, we're hosting Easter for them. It's a hard year for them and this is the least we can do.".
You aren't NOT spending it w/ her. You just aren't spending it ONLY w/ her.
And I'd have very little tolerance for any of her games. If she seriously can't be understanding w/ what your family is dealing w/, I wouldn't give in to her games at ALL.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Yep, MIL will just have to deal with it. I mean come on, are you never allowed to host a holiday because it might be her "turn."
Oh and tell your husband to turn off his phone on Easter.