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Post Nuptial Agreements
So, anyone have any experience with these?
I had a short engagement and was so wrapped up in the actual wedding plans, I forgot about the logistics of being married.
So, we are working on our life insurance policies. That was a little bit of a struggle to get him to see why everyone needs life insurance. But, oh well, it's in the works now.
But, we still have some things to consider. I know this is usually the standard for divorces (happened to both of our moms) but I would need to make sure I would still be covered by his health/dental insurance (as well as any kids, of course). Also, there would definitely have to be alimony (probably on a permanent basis) since I am disabled and will only ever work part time.
Also, I don't know how this could be made legal but there are many reasons why MH's dad's family isn't in our lives and I don't want them to be in our children's lives. I would like that to remain the same and would somehow get it in the agreement.
Obviously my husband is resisting this but I was wondering if anyone had any experience with these?
TIA :-)
Re: Post Nuptial Agreements
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Yes, so true.
I think he's resisting because he doesn't want to think about either one of us dying or us getting divorced. I can understand that but I think I'm just more detached and logical/practical/rational.
If I remarried, I would not require alimony. I think that's how it's normally done anyway right? You receive alimony until you remarry? So, I would just want that.
I am presuming I would also be able to get health insurance through my new partner, so that could stop as well.
I might not even be able to work part time at some point so I could lose my health insurance which is why i think I need it through someone else/him/new husband.
I don't get medicare, at least not yet, the state has denied me twice and I am currently going to trial for it.
Maybe you should consider another line of work.
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Unless you are both on board 100% this won't happen.
FYI: under federal law, you would be eligible to COBRA from his health insurance for 36 months from the date of the divorce. Your children's insurance coverage issue would be covered in the child custody agreement.
Remember that alimony and child support are a simple computation based upon your incomes (and the children's ages and needs at the time). Since you can't predict the future, you might want to rethink the idea of setting any amounts in stone...if he starts to make a significantly higher amount of money, you may be contracting yourself out of a reasonable settlement.
I would seriously talk to a lawyer to see if this is even worth it.
I'm not asking this to be snarky - I'm asking genuinely. When you're talking about a woman giving up her career for a # of years in order to raise kids, that's usually when alimony comes into play because the woman's ability to earn $$ has been affected. But getting married and then divorcing in and of itself - this doesn't change a person's ability to earn money, even you.
I get that your disabled and work only PT, but that's why I ask what you've done up until you got married. All the other stuff aside, assuming you'll be able to get alimony "just because" you're married is a big assumption.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I agree.
I cannot tell you how alimony works where you are, but around here one only gets spousal support if they can show they suffered a disadvantage as a result of the marriage. Even then, it is not automatically given and definitely very rarely given on more than a temporary basis (that term not necessarily being defined by a remarriage...it may just be for a few months or a year or two).
If you were already disabled before marriage, and already finding that you were not self-supporting, it is going to be hard to show that you should get alimony.
Aside from that, I don't really blame your husband for not being willing to sign a post-nup on those terms....nor is it likely such a post-nup would be upheld as it sounds very unfair and prejudicial against him (which is something courts do look at).
First swinging, and now a post-nup agreement?
Do you even pretend to love your husband???
updated 10.03.12
SW2B, do you just make this sh!t up for funsies? Really. You have more dramz in your marriage than anyone I've ever come across.
My husband's health insurance.
How am I supposed to provide for myself? Honestly?
Yeah, I don't know how it works either but I know my ex was required to keep his ex wife on his health insurance until one of them got remarried.
I was disabled but able to work then I got thrown across the room, right after we got engaged, and then was unable to work more than part time. So, I was screwed but I was already engaged to my husband. If I wasn't with my H, I would have been living with my mom and screwed when she died. The state says I'm not disabled since I'm so young.
You swung. Like you said, you were much deeper into the lifestyle than I will ever be, THEREFORE you should logically and rationally know that most couples in the lifestyle are extremely committed to one another and love their primary partners very much.
You're very unintelligent and unenlightened for someone who says they know way more than I ever will about all this stuff.
Dup
IF you get divorced, this isn't really his problem...
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