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A bit worried-mom in the delivery room?? Repost from Bump.
I just wanted to get you girls' opinions on this one. I posted this over on my March Bump community too. Induction is tomorrow at 5:30 am if the L&D isn't full.
Hi ladies...any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!
I am now starting to second guess my decision to have my mom in the room (along with DH) when i deliver James tomorrow. Here are my reasons in a nutshell:
1) Mom has been annoying the shiite out of me b/c she is one of those people that the conversation always goes back to her experiences with whatever you are talking about ... "Oh when IIII delivered it took 48 hours" or "when IIII breastfed you you tore up my nipples," etc. I am afraid that tomorrow will become all about herrrrr and I will want to punch her.
2) She tends to overexaggerate. I am afraid I will never hear the end of how she was the hero of my delivery b/c I was too (insert adjective here) to handle pushing the baby out.
3) DH is a bit timid about helping and nervous about blood. I am afraid he will be pushed aside and feel like my mom took over.
B/c of my concerns I have set two rules for mom tomorrow, 1 being that her MAIN job is to focus on DH and encourage him to participate and 2 that she is NOT allowed to tell the story afterwards, she is only allowed to say how beautiful the delivery was and that I was brave, etc 
I may have to add that she is not allowed to talk too much about what herrrr deliveries were like.
What do you think? I know that I am probably totally blowing al of this out of proportion, but I juat have way too much time to think right now! If I end up asking her to leave the room at pushing time tomorrow I may NEVER hear the end of it. Ugggg. Originally my sister was going to be able to be here to help referee, but she is not coming in until friday now.
Re: A bit worried-mom in the delivery room?? Repost from Bump.
I'd kick her out. Sorry, but I would.
I've already decided that DH will be the only person in the delivery room at all. I don't want anyone else there at any time, we're not even going to call them until it looks like I'm getting close to delivery. IMO, it's about you and your husband, your mom had that opportunity when she had you.
If you're concerned at all and have to set ground rules with her, I honestly would think it's best she's not there. I wouldn't want my husband's feelings smothered in any way, it's about him as much as it is about you.
Don't know if that helps at all, but that's my opinion! GL with your delivery - how exciting!
Congratulations! I can understand your concerns, and this is why I said my parents couldn't come in to my room, which is why they didn't speak to me for 3 weeks afterwards.
If you have to set rules, you also need to understand that she's your mom and she's probably not going to follow them. She'll just tell you that she's your mom and she's going to tell it how she wants to tell it. She will also focus on you because you're her child, not your DH.
That said, it may not be as bad as you think. She may be totally into what is happening with you, supportive, helpful, and happy.
Or, she may not. Inductions can take quite a long time (as in, more than one day) and there isn't much going on for many, many hours. That's plenty of time for her to talk about asinine things and focus on how amazing it is for her. So...
I don't really know what to tell you. You may want to set a time limit on her being there, like only from x cm to x cm, or from x time to x time, or only when you're pushing, or only when you're not pushing.
Oh yeah DP I remember the Crazy stories....how your DH had to be the muscle in that situation. I think I am stressing over this more than I am stressing about the L & D.
In agreement with Ashlee's bolded statements. DH and I even agreed (and told family) that no visiting relatives for the first 2 weeks so we could figure out how to be a family of 3 and for DH and I to take care of LO. I know that if we had either mom here during that time they would tell us how they did things or try to give too many helpful "suggestions" so to eliminate that and hopefully reduce our stress level no one can visit us until after we have been home for 2 weeks.
This is why my DH is the only one allowed in the room with me. I know that even if I set ground rules, my mom would do what she wanted. I never would have guessed my mom would be one of those people, but she did it at my wedding.
So I guess my vote is to not let her in at all.
This is a hard one. I totally agree with what DP said about her being your mom and feeling like she doesn't have to follow the rules. My mom has actually said "I'm the grandma- I don't have boundaries" when we've tried to talk to her about these kinds of things. That being said, my mom's feelings are hurt that I won't let her come to my ultrasounds, so I know she would be hurt and mad if I don't let her in the delivery room. Sounds like your mom might be the same way.
You have to do what's best for you, DH, and your baby. Unfortunately, you will never make everyone (even your mom) happy with your decisions, especially now that you have a child, so do what's best for you.
I'm sure it would start WWIII, but at Baptist Downtown, the labor and delivery floor is under complete lockdown, you have to get buzzed to enter the floor, they don't let anyone in unless you approve it when your room is buzzed. So technically, even if they think 'no one can stop me' um, yes, they can.
It's totally not even a concern of mine, our family is 100% understanding that we want labor and delivery to be just JJ and I, and then we only want parents to even visit the hospital for the next day we're there. If anyone has a problem with it, too bad (meaning extended family... but as far as I know they don't). I want as much rest and relaxation in the hospital as possible because I've heard so many women say to use that time and take advantage of it or you'll go home exhausted and start off on the completely wrong foot.
I agree with everyone else. Maybe you can find a happy medium? Like PP's stated, maybe you can have her in for parts of the labor but say that when you're pushing and James is actually born and you officially become a "family of 3" that you only want DH in there with you.
You're not going to please everyone so I would just try and focus on what you and DH need. It's a huge moment for the 2 of you and you deserve to do it however you see fit for your family. Congrats! I'm so excited for you and can't wait to "meet" your sweet boy!
Oh I like this. My sister had her baby at Orange Park. They had to buzz you in, but they never asked who you were or anything.
Sikes... Couldn't your mom find a way in due to her connections?
apparently no one is allowed in unless they're working OR a woman in labor who has explicitly allowed the guest by name. they have video cameras and swipey cards. they said the maternity ward at baptist works like it's own separate hospital and no one comes or goes from anywhere else in the hospital. it was kinda scary in the "complete lockdown" sense, but awesome. very quiet and serene.
They say that, but it's not entirely true. Two of my friends have had babies there and as long as we knew the patients name and room number, they buzzed us in. It was the same when I had B at Baptist South, they never even asked me who I wanted to allow in. They buzzed my parents and MIL in and they sat in the L&D waiting room.
I'm not worried because our family knows our wishes and is not at all expecting to come into the delivery room, but I'm surprised that during the tour they made it seem so different. They said you only need a name to get buzzed into the waiting room, but to get into the delivery room area you had to be on the list or get buzzed in after a confirmation from the patient.
Either way, I still really liked how not just anyone can go strolling by the nursery or my room as they please.