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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What if one spouse like their job and the other hates his?
I work with really nice and great co workers and get to laugh every day, but I don't make good money. My dh is the main breadwinner so it's been ok for me to stay at this company and make what I'm making even though I should be better compensated. But we've been fine financially this whole time until recently when my dh is miserable at work because of a new boss. He's been having major problems at work and they are not getting along. Either they will fire him or he will leave. So he's now desperately looking for a new job and is even thinking about moving abroad for a couple of years. I understand he can't stay where he is and we will have to decide what we are going to do. I unfortunately don't see much of a future or raise at my job but I love working there! So I guess my question is, what would you do if you were me? I feel bad for not being able to fully support my dh in moving away but it's really hard for me to pick up and leave a job where I'm lucky to be working with such great people like I do. I will never find something like this again and especially not in these times. BUT my dh IS the one with higher education and I could never "afford" to stay at this job if I wasn't married sadly enough.
Re: What if one spouse like their job and the other hates his?
He can talk hypotheticals till he's blue in the face. He might get a job down the street or he could get fired like you say-then you'll NEED your job as the only breadwinner, and possibly an additional one to make ends meet.
Bottom line-one thing at a time-it sounds like YH needs your support right now, and I'd be inclined to put my worries about the myriad hypotheticals in the back of my mind until something more concrete develops. Good luck!
I'd be incredibly supportive.
It's great to have a job you like, but you can find a job you like with better compensation as well. Maybe this will be the impetus to find that.
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
This. Right now, he needs your support more than anything. DH and I went through a similar situation a few months ago. He's a teacher, and his school district was downsizing. He's pretty low on the totem pole, and was afraid he might lose his job. We talked about it, and figured if it did happen, we would move back to our home town (where he's been offered a teaching position several times). This would mean me giving up a job I love as well, but as he's the main breadwinner in the house, it would have to be done.
Thanks for giving me your input in this, I needed to hear that. I just get scared when I think of how great my job is and how bad the market is for other jobs. And great jobs like mine (minus the bad compensation) are hard to find. But you're absolutely right, I can't keep on making the kind of money I am making and he is the main breadwinner here. Time to stop being selfish and be realistic:)
Its good to have a job where you are happy, but that could change in a minute. Jobs aren't permanent and people and situations change. They could hire someone new that throws off the whole dynamic. The company could be sold. The office could move and the commute could be longer, shorter, a bad part of town. There are all types of things that could change that you have no control over.
I think its great that you love your job, but you could also work with great people and love a job that pays more. If you are close to your co-workers and are friends outside of work, you can still see them socially. It might even be better because you don't have to worry about any office politics.
In your situation, I wouldn't leave my job, unless I had something better. I wouldn't let an underpaying job I love, make me not move to a better opportunity. My DH always comes first and we work together as a team.
This.
We agreed early on that H's career would have precedence over mine( location wise) since he is the breadwinner. I have advanced degrees, yet H makes 3x what I do. Then when we factor in Maternity leave needs in the future it just makes sense for us to have his career the priority. This could all change in the future and hopefully will when I start making more, but for right now we focus on his.
We were in your situation last year. H was miserable and found a job in an area that isn't the best for my career. I found a job and it isn't the best fit, but in the big picture this move was the best for us.
Thinking about the big picture was beneficial for me in helping to support H's decscsion to look for an accept a new position.