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I'm now "that" mom

And I don't mean that badly - I just don't know how else to write it.  Peter is in love with Rapunzel.  LOVES her.  Is going to MARRY her.  You get the idea.  Well, he earned a new toy by being such a good boy over the weekend, so I took him to the Disney store to buy a Warehouse Mouse toy.  They didn't have any (shame!) but they DID have a Rapunzel plush doll.  My mind IMMEDIATELY flashed to the princess boy, and to the link you guys showed me with the kid who dressed up like Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween - so I totally let him buy it, and I also bought him the stuffed horse, Max, that goes along with her.  Then yesterday morning, he asked if he could bring Max into school, and I said sure (they're allowed to bring a stuffed animal to sleep wth), but, "don't you want to bring Rapunzel?"  And he said no, that one of his friends would tease him because that friend doesn't like girls.  And then he started tearing up. :(  My heart broke.  So I knelt down and told him that he should definitely bring Rapunzel, and that I would speak with the teacher. When we got into school about three of the kids came up to him, asking him who the doll was and who she belonged to.  None of them seemed particularly interested, so I was psyched.  I still pulled the teacher aside and told her that Peter was nervous - she told Peter not to worry, that no one would tease him and that if anyone did, that he needed to tell her so that she could speak with him/her.  I was so relieved!!  WELL, last night when I picked him up from my MIL's house, he told me that the teacher had to speak with the WHOLE CLASS about how it's OK for girls to play with boy toys and OK for boys to play with girl toys.  Apparently he DID get teased - one little girl "meanly laughed" at him for having a doll and one of the boys wouldn't play with him.  I'm so sad.  I'm so sad for him.  DH thinks he shouldn't bring the doll in, that getting teased is what can happen and he needs to learn that - BUT, he's keeping his mouth shut and letting me deal with it, so at least we're on the same page about that.  But I'm so sad for Peter.  He brought her in again today, so we'll see what happens.  Anyways, just wanted to vent/rant/be sad.  Thanks for reading. :)

Re: I'm now "that" mom

  • imagePeterJudesMommy:
    DH thinks he shouldn't bring the doll in, that getting teased is what can happen and he needs to learn that.

    I would think that for this reason alone he would want Peter to bring the toy in.  I mean, no parent wants to see their child get teased, but since it is a sad part of life it's something he needs to realize can happen.  It shouldn't...but it can, and probably will. 

    Good for you for showing your child that there's no shame in liking a "girl's" toy.  Our differences should be embraced.  Sadly, too often they're not. 

    Pam - Mom to Tyler David 10/23/94, Tristan Hal 3/11/06, Melinda Rose 7/22/07 imageimageimageimageimage
  • Brave Peter for bringing Rapunzel in to school again despite his experience yesterday. You are raising a strong, sensitive boy. It hurts to see your child be picked on and not accepted. But, you will both get through this, and hopefully the other children will learn a valuable lesson too. (((hugs)))
    image
  • imagepjscooby:

    imagePeterJudesMommy:
    DH thinks he shouldn't bring the doll in, that getting teased is what can happen and he needs to learn that.

    I would think that for this reason alone he would want Peter to bring the toy in.  I mean, no parent wants to see their child get teased, but since it is a sad part of life it's something he needs to realize can happen.  It shouldn't...but it can, and probably will. 

    Good for you for showing your child that there's no shame in liking a "girl's" toy.  Our differences should be embraced.  Sadly, too often they're not. 

    this exactly

    i think you are teaching peter some very valuable lessons, you rock! and fwiw, i loved playing with my cousin's matchbox cars, star wars anything, and strawberry shortcake as a kid. i am really glad that my mom never made a big deal about my liking just as many typically "boy's" toys as i did "girl's" toys.

    image
  • I think it's awesome that you're "that" mom.  Good for you!!!
  • ((HUG)) you are doing a GREAT job Becky! I'm so sorry he has to go through this. Ben's fav toys right now are my old My Little Pony dolls! And I love that he wants to play with them - teaches him sensitivity, caring, etc. Much better than all "shoot 'em up" toys for boys. 

    That aside - I'm glad the teacher is talking to these kids. I'm very anti-gender definitions when it comes to little kids - they should be allowed to express themselves however they want! How else will they learn???? Yay for a good teacher and I hope that today goes smoother for him.

    You go mama - you're amazing ! 

    Wife, mom, attorney, blogger, runner - trying to learn to love all the good things in life!!
    "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." - Alex & Ani bracelet
    My blog: Dodging Acorns
  • awww, my heart breaks for you guys!  BUT i think you are so so awesome and Peter is one brave little boy!  maybe he should get a special sundae treat?
  • imageartsake:
    maybe he should get a special sundae treat?

    HA - excuse to go to Friendly's!!  YAY!!

  • imagePeterJudesMommy:

    imageartsake:
    maybe he should get a special sundae treat?

    HA - excuse to go to Friendly's!!  YAY!!

    Perfect! ;-) 

    Wife, mom, attorney, blogger, runner - trying to learn to love all the good things in life!!
    "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." - Alex & Ani bracelet
    My blog: Dodging Acorns
  • it is weird and a double standard that girls can play with boy toys  like cars and stuff but boys cant play with girl toys.
    Chef Paige Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
  • Good for peter for being so brave and you for standing beside him. Landen loves dolls and has a cabbage patch boy and often loves to snag one of my younger sisters doll from my moms. I think there is no problem with children playing or dressing up how every they want. Happy to hear the teacher was great about it too.
  • I didn't have the chance to read all the responses and I so agree with you. He should be able to play with whatever toys her likes.

    I had a little girL in my class a few years ago who was into "boy toys." She hated dresses and loved to play cops & robbers, etc. At first the kids were curious, but then they just began to accept her for who she was/is. I think that if you continue to support him at home and the teacher continues to deal with the situation like she did then the other kids will stop teasing, etc. once the novelty of it wears off.

    Good for Peter for bringing in his new toy and not letting cruel (I use this term loosely because i am sure not all the kids are trying to be cruel) kids dictate what he likes or who he is :) 

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  • Good for you!!! And good for Peter!!! 
  • I love that you're that mom and I'm that mom too! My friend CJ was having the same problem with her son because he was eating iCarly yogurt in kindergarten. Kids aren't born that way. It makes me sad that someone had to 'teach' them that caring for 'babies' and dolls is for girls. Stay strong for your DS. He'll learn to accept himself better for it. Whatever his choices in life. :)
  • imagerber9595:
    it is weird and a double standard that girls can play with boy toys  like cars and stuff but boys cant play with girl toys.

    This!  I loved Barbie AND Lego growing up. My dad's favorite childhood pic of me is me wearing a frilly Christmas dress and playing with the toy hard hat and chainsaw I'd just gotten as a gift.

    It's just too bad it's not as easy for boys. It just seems so totally normal (to me and most sane people) that if Peter is "in love with" Rapunzel, he'd love a doll of her!

  • If you haven't read it already, check out "William's Doll" by Charlotte Zolotow. I hope that I will encourage my children in whatever interests them, not squash their dreams. I want to be like you!!!
    image
  • imageasf619:
    If you haven't read it already, check out "William's Doll" by Charlotte Zolotow. I hope that I will encourage my children in whatever interests them, not squash their dreams. I want to be like you!!!

     

    that's a great book!! i had forgotten about that :) 

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  • imagecyko21:
    Good for you!!! And good for Peter!!! 

    This was exactly what I was going to post.  :)

    image
    It took 5 failed IUIs and a failed IVF, but our FET worked!
    My pregnancy after Infertility Blog
    Our baby girl was born on April 27, 2011!
  • It is really sad that a toy cannot be just that...a toy.  When DD was about 2 I bought her these twin dolls- a boy and a girl. They just happened to be African American dolls, we are Caucasian. You should have SEEN the looks that she got from ADULTS when she took them somewhere. It was more sideways glances then I ever would have imagined. So SO SAD. Fast forward to last year when the Tianna princess came out. She wanted her, we bought her...same thing happened.

    My kids have ALL types of toys. Dolls that are different races, some (like our Aladian) that have an arm missing (and we talk about him being different but the same), or WHATEVER. The world is made up of tons of different types of people. I would not want them to make a big deal out of differences when they are adults so why would I do it now?

    PS..My one year old son loved one of the Baby Alive dolls...He got it for Christmas :)

  • "that" mom who stood up for her son?  You rock for being "that" mom.  I know I'm late on this post and most people have said what I would say, but be totally proud of yourself for what you've done!  You're raising an amazing, smart, sensitive boy and I would be proud to have you for a mom :)

    Keep rockin' it Fleck! 

  • imageammorgado:

    "that" mom who stood up for her son?  You rock for being "that" mom.  I know I'm late on this post and most people have said what I would say, but be totally proud of yourself for what you've done!  You're raising an amazing, smart, sensitive boy and I would be proud to have you for a mom :)

    Keep rockin' it Fleck! 

     

    Yeah apparently I am late to the party too but I completely agree!

    Christian Robert: December 13, 2006 image Gianna Catherine; May 10,2009 Mother's Day Baby! image Check out my fitness & health blog! Fit Moms & Full Plates
  • I am late to post too, but I have to ditto what everyone has said and to keep it simple... You are an awesome "that" mom and Peter is so lucky to have you standing by him.  He already is, but will continue to be an amazing kid!  Proud of both of you!
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