Northern California Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Clicky Poll: WWYD
I didn't want to vote, but figured I'd add my two cents anyway.
I think it depends on the actions. Are they gay or dating interracially and you're uncomfortable with that? In that case, I'd suggest trying to broaden your horizons.
Are they shooting babies up with Heroin? In that case, I'd say tough love and accept the end of the relationship.
Are they starting to hoard and say dispairaging things about your mother? I'd probably talk to them, and maybe slowly end the friendship.
Are they addicts who are in a cycle of using? Maybe try being a loving mirror while extracting yourself from the cycle.
(Obviously, I tried to make these examples as out-there as possible. I don't think you're a bigoted homophobe, or that you know people who inject drugs into babies.)
This actually made me laugh. I'm sure its tough to answer the poll based on the vagueness, but in my head it makes total sense
I couldn't vote either without knowing more of what the issue was. How much does it personally interfere with the way I live my life? Is it something I am morally and ethically opposed to or something that just bothers me? What are my motivations to do what is listed above.
I'm thinking along the same lines as SMB....Is the friend hurting themselves? Or, is it something that you just wouldn't do in your lifestyle? Or, are they just making bad choices to push focus away from fixing other issues/problems going on in their life?
I'm a big, time will tell sort of person....if the actions are a big enough deal to you that you don't want it around your life and your family, then either tell the friend and know you did what you had to do. If it is more of a, they are charging up their credit cards and making out with ugly men at bars sort of thing...then be there for them and reflect positive loving behavior back.
Hmmm...if they are shooting babies up with Heroin...make them watch Trainspotting and a huge bucket of tough love.
Ultimately, if I do some soul-searching and I simply can't find a way to make peace with how someone I know is living their life, I calmly lay it all out for them and accept the fact that they are completely justified in telling me to bugger off. I don't tell them how to live their lives or make the decision to end the friendship without hearing them out. I just tell them how I feel, state my boundaries, and let them voice their own opinion. The conversation may end in a change, a compromise, or us parting ways. You need to be willing to accept the outcome, even if you can't accept their life choices. I think it's important to be open-minded about other people's decisions, but I also think it's equally important to know who you are and what you want in your life. It's okay to walk away from something that simply isn't good for you.
Just be sure that you have carefully thought about it, your intentions are pure (and not just out to manipulate or threaten them into changing), and you are willing to follow through with the worst-case scenario, should it come to that. No one deserves to be jerked around or threatened.
Women don't want to hear what men think,
women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice
Tea Time for Lulu
Totally agree. I didn't vote because it really depends on the circumstances.
If you want to talk I am here! I've been down that road a couple of times.
(((HUGE HUGS)))