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completely separate from yesterday's post
Why can't life just be easy right now? I dont' want to get into a huge backstory here, I'm kind of prone to long winded posts so I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.
I am the 3rd of 5 children. My parents have 10 grandchildren. 2 of my siblings and their combined 5 children live out of state, the rest of us are here.
My sister, her husband and her 2 children are coming up this weekend for a few days. Friday is my mother and my niece's birthdays. Mom will be 56 and my niece will be 14. My father would like us (the siblings) to all be present for my mom on her birthday at dinner. Well, this poses a problem since one of my siblings has had some legal issues that he's receiving treatment for and part of the treatment is that he can't be there if there are minors present. He is the one who planned the dinner so I can't see my parents telling him he can't go so we can bring the kids. BUT it's my niece's birthday too! and I think it is more important that her family spend the day with her, a child, rather than my mother if a choice has to be made. Not only that, but if the kids can't go, that would mean leaving my son in the care of my niece (who is more than capable) ON HER BIRTHDAY to go have dinner without her! I dont' think that's appropriate and I won't do it.
In addition to that, we have already planned a dinner together for Saturday night, and church and breakfast on Sunday morning! I love my mother, but there's only so much I can handle here. I don't think that not going on Friday night should be a big deal. But now that I've let everyone know that I don't plan on going, my phone is ringing off the hook!
Someone please tell me that I'm not being ridiculous here!
Re: completely separate from yesterday's post
THANK YOU! She is a child, my mother is an adult! Yes, they share a birthday. But if I have to choose who to spend it with, I choose my niece every time. I can't believe that my family has an issue with that. It's so incredibly clear to me! I told them that if they all want to go out to dinner with mom, great. I will stay with the kids and niece and I will have cake together on our own.
Besides, we already have a family dinner planned for the next night! what's the big flipping deal??
FWIW, my brother showed a SEVERE lack of judgement that I will not excuse him for and that is the cause of his legal troubles. The consequences of which, I think are far beyond what should apply in this case, but that is the law and he is not exempt from it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
So, the 14 year old's parents plan to drive her to your town and then leave her, on her birthday, to go out to a birthday dinner with your mother? Her parents want to leave her? Her grandmother wants to leave her birthday buddy home?
Maybe you just missed the part where the 14 year old has some fun plans with her friends and plans to spend her birthday night that way. And you just need to get a babysitter.
Otherwise, they are all being very mean to a 14 year old on her birthday.
This is what I thought we were doing when we planned to do dinner as a family with my mother on Saturday night. But now they are trying to change the plan to dinner Friday night (without kids), dinner Saturday night (with kids), and breakfast Sunday mornning. I don't see why me not going to Friday night is such a huge deal since I will be there on Saturday night and Sunday morning. Dad's big point is but Friday is her birthday. I get that, but she's not a child, and there IS a child whose birthday is the same day. I just don't get why they don't understand.
On the plus side, however, my phone hasn't rang since I got back from lunch. It's blissfully quiet in my office right now.