Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Now that your a parent
What are some things you thought your parents were stupid for making you do growing up or rules you hated that you will now impliment on your own kids?
I HATED having a bed time of 8, I thought it was so stupid that sometimes I was going to bed when the sun was still up. Now I know I will do this so that I can have my time with my husband.
I was also restricted on movies and thought it was dumb I wasn't allowed to watch smurfs because gargamel dances around a religous symbol.
Also hated having to finish my plate, I wont do this to our kids but I will make them at least try everything once, just a bite instead of just saying, I dont like that when they have never even tried it.
anyone else?!
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Re: Now that your a parent
My mom was very strict when it came to sugar. This only made it the forbidden fruit and was hard for me to control my indulgences once I was on my own. The sugar thing also made her crazy about cavities and I ended up having a dentist anxiety about it.
We will let our kids have more sugar but will still restrict a few things like desserts and soda. My mom was just a nut about it. Her idea of dessert was apple slices and peanut butter.
Oh I almost forgot. My mom was also a little bit of a religious nut too. She saw the devil and new ageism everywhere. I wasn't allowed to have a Rainbow Brite and a Care Bear because she thought they were of the devil.
Things I will do, or my version of it, that my parents did:
1. Having monthly meetings with me to discuss my academics and finances.
2. Reading a map. I HATED being the family navigator on family roadtrips. Now, I don't panic if I get lost.
3. Pushing education (although I won't be as nutso as them.)
4. Instilling some religious faith.
Things I won't do:
1. Force my child to eat when she's not hungry
2. Physical punishment (and we're not talking about a swat on the bottom.)
3. Focus too much on education. I want my children to be well-rounded in life.
4. Expect my child to follow the same faith as I do. I will get them started and then encourage them to explore. I do put my foot down on Scientology, Jehovah's Witness, and Satanism though. :-)
5. My child will be allowed to date/marry whatever race they choose.
dh and I don't want kids but I just wanted to let you know that it's YOU'RE (contraction of 'you' and 'are') not YOUR.
and which religious symbol did Gargamel dance around? I don't recall that and was an avid Smurfs watcher.
Best things my parents taught me that I will pass along to my kids:
1. Always live below your means so you can quit your job if you hate it.
2. Get an education ("You can work at a fast food restaurant after you graduate, but get your degree" is what I heard over and over again).
3. Take responsibility for your actions.
4. Don't be afraid to fail.
My sister worked in child care for years, and she has the "sugar cereal" thoery. Kids who were allowed to eat sugared cereal (coco pops, frosted flakes) grew up normal / average, with normal / average eating habits. Kids who were forbidden / restricted from eating sugared cereal grew up with huge sweet tooths and were more likely to be overweight.
An ealier bedtime is actually healthier for children. They do better in school if they have more sleep.
Oh I know, we weren't allowed to have sugary cereals either. We had grape nuts and raisin squares. Let me just say that no one really wanted to spend the night at my house
I remember one time my grandparents came to visit us. My grandfather likes frosted flakes and said we could have some of his. Us kids were ready to claw each others eyes out over those frosted flakes. It was a terrible fight.
My parents used to put themselves ahead of us a lot. I can remember crying because my shoes had holes in them and they hurt my feet. My parents "couldn't afford" new shoes for me, but my mom had just bought a new pair of $50 shoes. I can remember my mom getting mad when she had to pick me up from school and she said some very unkind things to me.
I want my kids to have somewhat fashionable clothes, and always well-fitting and clean.
I don't know that there is much I'll do the same as my parents did.