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Advice re: boss who yells
Hello, I am wondering if anyone has a boss who yells and how others handle this. When things do not work out in the way that my boss would like, she is easily frustrated and has a sharp tongue- tends to be ruthless, and downright insulting. She recently called me on the phone and blasted me for 4 different things in a row, until I began crying on the phone (tried not to let her know). I find this a management style that does not work for me- and since I have other options (have my Ph.D. and can easily work in private practice), I would like to confront her but am interested in others' opinions or experiences! Thanks in advance!!
Re: Advice re: boss who yells
That's not a management style.
I guess the textbook way to handle this would be to discuss it calmly with her and see what happens, and then take it up the food chain if you don't get any improvement.
But if you can easily work somewhere else and don't want to deal with this, I'd get out while the getting is good.
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Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
I worked with a boss for years who was a yeller. She later was fired after a staff survey where nearly every staff member used words like harassing and abusive to describe her.
That being said, my experience with this type of person is that it's impossible to change them or reason with them. This is a personal style they've developed over years inside and outside a business culture. If they yell at work, they probably yell at home. Therefore I would not recommend an actual confrontation.
If you are committed to staying with the company, I would approach with a different tactic. Take note of which employees this person doesn't yell at. What tactics does that person use that might be effective. With my old boss, for example, my tactic was to never approach her directly during a conflict but rather to walk away as quickly as I could, give her time to cool down, and then send a well worded email explaining my position. Usually, she was then able to reason.
Essentially, you have to do some "managing up" and learning which tactics work and which don't. And if that doesn't work, get out as swiftly as you can.
ETA: I would start looking for another job if it's at ll feasible.
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Recently I've been "witness" (not literally, but told the story) to two situations where a person was called out on their negative behavior and it actually made a difference.
One was a friend who also has a boss who is a yeller. There was an issue where he started to yell at her, but they had to leave the room. When they went back to their dept, he tried to get her to go into a conference room w/ her and she refused to go in because she knew he was going to yell. She told him that she willing to talk to him, but not if he's going to yell.
I know she isn't changing who he is as a person (I know the guy and he's a douche), but she has absolutely taught him that he can't yell at her and if he does, she's going to leave.
I really do think that people will do what they can get away with!
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