North Florida Nesties
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

s/o from MM: Lurking DHs

A MM regular said her DH has little ways of letting her know he's been lurking.

How would you feel if your DH lurked here?

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Re: s/o from MM: Lurking DHs

  • When you present it the way you did, it's not ok -- seems like major trust issues and serious schemeing... not only to read it without outright saying so, but to hint that you know what's said? Please. Grow a pair.

    I wouldn't care if he read it. I'd prefer he didn't, but I wouldn't be outraged (unless it was weird/creeperish like above). I told him he's never alowed to make an AE (there have been times he's been like "why didn't you just say ____?!" when there's drama around, and jokes "If you won't, I will!" lol).

    "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie
  • If DH lurked here, I'd give him a side eye. Like he really wants to read us talking about restaurants, hair cuts & books. He'd die of boredom.
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  • imageClaireDunphy:
    If DH lurked here, I'd give him a side eye. Like he really wants to read us talking about restaurants, hair cuts & books. He'd die of boredom.
    I agree. I think DH likes that I have a place to chat about Twilight, hair and whatever else he doesn't care about. He really felt that way about TK when I was in crazy wedding planning mode.
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  • imagejodippls:
    imageClaireDunphy:
    If DH lurked here, I'd give him a side eye. Like he really wants to read us talking about restaurants, hair cuts & books. He'd die of boredom.
    I agree. I think DH likes that I have a place to chat about Twilight, hair and whatever else he doesn't care about. He really felt that way about TK when I was in crazy wedding planning mode.

    Oh totally. Although sometimes I think he was less than a fan when I'd use you guys as back-up for wedding decisions on which we disagreed. hahaha "Well, your point is valid, honey, but The Brides agree...." hahaha

    "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie
  • I'm pretty open about venting on here, generally so that when he and I interact face to face, I'm a lot more sane and balanced. The couple of times he read what I wrote online, he was unpleasantly surprised because I typically put up and shut up. I just don't see the point in filling our conversations with more negativity because he complains a lot. If he were lurking to find out how I really feel about an issue, I'd tell him that all he had to do was ask. I dont have a problem articulating my thoughts obviously. But since he doesn't ask, I assume he'd rather not know.
  • I wouldn't care so much that he read what I write here. It IS a public message board. It's just the creeper factor. Why would he care enough to waste his time? I tell him all of the funny stuff anyway.
  • Okay, I can't remember what is was, but one time there was big drama or something and H was like "OMG say this! It will be so funny!" When I said no, he said he was going to make a SN to respond with. His hypothetical SN was NormsDad83. No one will ever know....

    Despite this, he has never actually been on the site that I know of. He just knows what I choose to share.
  • imageLucille Bluth:
    I wouldn't care so much that he read what I write here. It IS a public message board. It's just the creeper factor. Why would he care enough to waste his time? I tell him all of the funny stuff anyway.

    I do this too. There have been a lot of threads I've shown him.

    NormsDad83? Way to fly under the radar, LB's H.

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  • I would find it really bizarre if DH lurked here. This is sort of my little corner of the internet, it's not really his place to be. Plus, reading through random threads written by people he doesn't know would be torture to him. When he was on faecbook, he hated even reading anything in his news feed.
  • If it was creepy lurking, I would wonder why he was doing it.  Does he not trust me? 

    Like others, I tell him the funny stuff that comes up anyway, like Ashlee's white chocolate truffle jiz story Yes

    Mungee and Me
    image
    How is it that my BABY is going to be 3?
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    BFP-2/25/11; 8 Wk U/S-3/25/11-No HB, measured 6.5 wks; D&C
  • imageLucille Bluth:
    Okay, I can't remember what is was, but one time there was big drama or something and H was like "OMG say this! It will be so funny!" When I said no, he said he was going to make a SN to respond with. His hypothetical SN was NormsDad83. No one will ever know....

    Despite this, he has never actually been on the site that I know of. He just knows what I choose to share.

    DH has threatened this too.  I just roll my eyes.

    I also have no problems with him reading anything I write, but I'd find it odd that he'd want to lurk on these particular boards.  I side-eye most couples that come on here regularly together...not on the local.

  • imageMadisen:

    I also have no problems with him reading anything I write, but I'd find it odd that he'd want to lurk on these particular boards.  I side-eye most couples that come on here regularly together...not on the local.

    Big fat ditto. 

    Don't you have other things to read/do in the entire internet?  Get off the lady internet. 

  • DH wouldn't even know how to get to this page. Mainly because he just doesn't care enough to even try. I'll tell him funny stories and he laughs, but he really has no clue what we talk about on here. I wouldn't care if he lurked but I would judge him for it & question if it was a trust issue. lol It's not like he'd "find" anything. He would have "caught" me AW'ing his awesomeness the other day and when I bitched about his extremely stupid self running into a tree, he was already 100% fully aware of how annoyed I was with him. No surprises to be found. I'm brutally honest. 

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  • I wouldn't care if he wanted to read here, it would not make me happy if I found out he was doing it behind my back though.
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  • imageclseale13:

    DH wouldn't even know how to get to this page. Mainly because he just doesn't care enough to even try. I'll tell him funny stories and he laughs, but he really has no clue what we talk about on here. I wouldn't care if he lurked but I would judge him for it & question if it was a trust issue. lol It's not like he'd "find" anything. He would have "caught" me AW'ing his awesomeness the other day and when I bitched about his extremely stupid self running into a tree, he was already 100% fully aware of how annoyed I was with him. No surprises to be found. I'm brutally honest. 

    This except I don't tell DH anything about The Nest, he barely cares about IRL drama with people he knows, he would never enjoy a story about people he's never met.
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