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F/U i am frustrated
so, H and i had a long talk last night about the house search. i mean, an exhausting 2 hour long talk. kill me.
so, i think it all boils down to two things:
1. i value stability and things that i can control.
2. H just wants the biggest, best house he can afford...without much regard to the nieghborhood it is in.
i worked in the mortgage industry...i saw what happened first hard the last 10 years. i know how homes are valued and how home values can vary drastically based on just location alone. i know our city very well...i know the neighborhoods that people pay money to live in.
H doesn't fully understand (even though i've explained it) how how values are dictated. he thinks that since the comps are the exact same house, they can't be good comps so they can't possibly be used to estimate the value of the home. a comp is a comp...good or bad. i've tried to explain this. i think it sunk in a bit towards the end of our talk...but i'm not sure he really believes it.
i pretty much said i'm not going to waiver much on my stance. it's a huge financial risk...and i need to stay in my comfort zone. i told him we'd of course find a house we both like...but that it needs to fit BOTH of our standards.
omg waht is this so HARD?
June 2011
Re: F/U i am frustrated
Schmooze...thats kind of what i'm trying to do. i want to buy one of the cheaper houses in the nicer neighborhood..it gives us "wiggle room" so that if we want to dump some money into the house with upgrades, we can. it will hold/gain value. he's not really understanding that concept.
the house he liked came back with comps that are ok...but the house is kind of close to the top of what houses have sold for over the last year. that makes me nervous. i'd much rather see it closer to the bottom half of those figures. does that make sense? am i crazy?
Okay, your H is flat wrong on the comps. I work for an office that does real estate sales and real estate auctions. Any house can be auctioned and you better believe it does not bring top dollar for the house. Short Sales don't really affect the neighborhood value that, that bad, but foreclosures TOTALLY do. To the point that neighbors will remove Foreclosure signs and things b/c they don't want the houses to sell. Other things affect comps too like if the people paid for the buyer's closing costs and things. That's why appraisers are now calling offices to find out more about the actual properties. It's kind of a circus.
That being said, I think you'll reach a compromise, but it will be on a specific house. I mean millions of people own homes and I'm sure at least half of those couples like different things. My H & I like totally different houses & last time we bought he "got" the one he wanted b/c I ended up compromising. In my mind I wouldn't have ever bought the house we bought, but when I was in it and saw how nice it flowed and told him we could buy it if I could change out the builder grade mirrors & fixtures we realized that it worked for us. Next time it may be him that compromisies more.
Also though - neighborhood is a big thing. You have a child. Does he not want you to live in the safest neighborhood possible for your child?
i think i'm exaggerating the neighborhood thing. the location he wants is very "up and coming". fast growing, farther out from the city (longer commute for him) with a lot of non-descript builder created subdivisions. the school system i've heard is great. so i'm good with that. it's just to uncertainty of how that neighborhood will grow over the years. will people still want to live there? will they view it as something they'll pay extra to live in?
i'm used to be growing up in an exclusive-type community which is landlocked...so it's in high demand and people live there bc of the shcools and bc of the name. we can't afford that neighborhood..but there are others similar that i feel comfortable with. they're stable, the houses rarely lose value, and the residents value their homes/land.
my biggest fear is to move into a nieghborhood and have sh*t neighbors that we're stuck with. seirously...i lose sleep over it. i dont want a bunch of idiots bringing my home value down.
Most of our neighbors have been here for over 10 years. The ones even bought their next door house when it went for auction so it didn't go to a rental company. I was really happy to hear that they value our neighborhood like that. We do have a couple ppl around here that are annoying but most are very very nice and take great care of their homes, inside and out. There is nothing wrong with wanting those things for your neighborhood.
I would try to find a fixer in the neighborhood you want. You guys have great taste and you can personalize a home to what you want beautifully. It will take time but it will be worth it in the long run. Of course, it is not my decision. I think he is underestimating how annoying it will be to drive that commute every day.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but there are idiots everywhere. Some of our most crazy customers are in some of the nicest neighborhoods.
tell me about it! ugh!